In the Trenches for a few days

The last really 48 hours have been hard. However, as I am typing, I think a ray of light is poking through.

Thursday night was a late night. We didn't get home until 8:30 and Mike didn't start his medication until 10:30. I cut them back that night. He only had 3 cups to down. I usually wait up until I know he is finished. I went to check on him at 11:30 and he was laid out on the bathroom floor. He said he was ok, but he just need to sleep. At this point, I let him sleep where ever and when ever he wants. I have been so sick at times that I have slept on the bathroom floor so I thought everything was ok. I went to bed and and heard a thud right as I was about to really sleep. In took me a few minutes, but I got up and went to check on Mike just in case. I found him laid out on the floor in a mess. He was too weak to get up. He couldn't even raise his head. I stayed calmed, cleaned him up and got him into bed. I called Bill because I was very scared. It was around midnight. Bill told me to call 911 and I walked into the room. Mike was talking and Bill wanted to talk to him. Mike was absolutely insistent that he didn't need to go to the hospital and that he was finally comfortable and wanted to sleep. At this point, we are thinking that something in the supplements are making Mike dizzy/faint. Remember, he had a similar episode on Tuesday. Mike is aware enough though when he gets that sensation that he lays down where ever he is so he doesn't faint and cause injury to himself. So Thursday night, I stayed with him and didn't sleep much. We managed to get him to the IV clinic on Friday. He is still weak and I need to help him. We go so far as to open all the doors so he can make a bee line to the car. At this point, if he is up for about 10 seconds he gets lightheaded. We recline the seat in the car, put his feet up on the dashboard and drive to the clinic. We get there and I leave Mike. They take such good care of us there. I leave with Elizabeth and head up to the American Nutriceuticals business office to pick up another medication for Mike. Then we head to an organic farm to buy some produce. We get there and it doesn't open until noon. So we head to lunch and then to pick up Mike. He is still the same. We load him up and take him to the ANWC for his other treatments. By the end of the treatments, he is no better. We head back to the condo and I get him to eat some yogurt with honey and a little bit of salmon. He feels better and sits up on the couch. Of course the whole day, he is drinking his nutritional drinks and water. I tuck him in to bed at around 9:30 pm.

Today, Mike wakes up and he is no better. I help him bath, dress, and get him to the car. Same thing as yesterday. We make sure his feet are up and I leave him with Pete at the IV therapy. Pete is this awesome paramedic who is an angel sent from God. It is just the little things. I elaborate more in a minute. Elizabeth and I come back to the condo and we head to the pool. We spend about an hour swimming and watching the cranes and boats go by. The pool is right on the bay and it is just a beautiful Florida setting. We shower and head back to pick Mike up at the clinic. Mike is still not better, so we try pure oxygen to see if that will help. It doesn't, but we head to the clinic. Mike is very pale and I am nervous. I decide to go and buy some yogurt and honey to keep at the clinic. Mike seems to like it and it helps him. By the end of the therapy at the ANWC, we decide to try and get a hold of Bill in Havana. It is very hard to reach him down there. We are successful and through the conversation, Bill determines that Mike is probably dealing with low blood sugar. Mike is not eating a lot. Anyway, Bill tells me to go get him honey and give him a few spoonfuls to see if it helps. I already had it and gave it to him and he starts to feel better. He sat up for over 10 seconds without feeling dizzy. He makes it to the car without stumbling. He is on the couch right now and doing 50 percent better. I stopped on the way home and got him an orange and raspberries. I made him dinner of a little bit salmon, 3 orange slices, 3 raspberries and his nutritional drink with added pre-digested protein. He is better.

God is still here. He hasn't left us or forsaken us. Even though we have had some scary moments in the past few days. God is whispering to Bill. I know it. We have been trying to figure this out for 2 days with everyone. But Bill listens and knows. He had been trying to call us from Havana and couldn't get through. He is in Havana at his medical clinic working with patients down there and yet Mike is still one of his main concerns. I have no doubt that God placed it in my heart to go get the yogurt and honey for Mike to keep at the clinic, because he knew it would be important later.

I want to let you know that God has been taking care of Elizabeth and I as well. Friday, I was exhausted to the brink of nausea due to the fact that I was up most of the night with Mike and worrying about Mike. I was treated to a massage where I feel asleep face down and left to sleep. Elizabeth was allowed to nap today in the massage room. She did actually nap. I was also treated to a b12 shot today. I have to tell you that it worked. I feel so good right now. Pete took one look at me this morning and recommended it. He also invited Elizabeth to stop by the fire station on Monday to visit. She was following him around at the clinic today. She even told him that she thinks he is a very nice man. He has kids of his own that are her age and I think our situation really hits home. Plus, he is a fireman and there is that unspoken respect and camaraderie with Mike and the AF.

I also had the privilege of meeting another client at the clinic today. Her husband is stage 4 melanoma that has spread to his bones. He is 40 and they have 3 kids age 7, 5, and 2 months. They have been through one round of chemotherapy that didn't work and they are here for the same reason. I had the joy of sharing with her and she is in the same spot. She even said that she knows she will be ok, but they are fighting for her boys, for time. They read about boys that lose their fathers too early and they worry about them. She praises God for their baby. The baby wasn't planned and after she found out she was pregnant, he went in for more permanent measures. That is where they found the melanoma on his upper thigh area. She has such hope. We BOTH have such hope here. AGAIN.. that word HOPE.... Praise God, we have HOPE...

Praise God for every child he puts on this earth. I am beginning to think that the majority of things accomplished for good is this world are motivated by a precious child. Parents are driven to create, heal, succeed, seek a greener environment, better schools, better health, even to live because of their child. But as I am typing this, it shouldn't surprise me. The bible says we are created in God's image and he created the ultimate good for the world through his precious baby boy, Jesus.

I was so strengthen today by talking to her. I see me in her. They are the same age. It is like looking into a mirror. The way she cares for him and loves him. How much she loves her children. They have people supporting them to help with the cost of coming here. I have been so blind to many needs in this world. Not the big disaster needs, but the small individual needs. You will never know the amount of strength, the amount of love, the amount of purpose, the amount of fight that we pull from each and everyone of you.

I wanted to thank everyone for the cards and notes and the gifts. To the 623rd, your card was overwhelming. We are still new here and yet you are treating us like we have been here our entire career. We know you stand ready to help at any point and I thank you. I am absolutely positive that we will be calling when we get back. To all our good friends at 12th AF, we are equally as humble by the out pouring of support and encouragement at every level. Tucson is really etched in our hearts forever. As we get stronger, we will come back to personally say thank you. Finally to the B-1 community, words can not express our deep love and gratitude to everyone. We "grew up" together. We spent 12 years with you and you taught us everything. You have been there from the day we were married, to the day we were blessed with our precious daughter. You taught us how to be there for people, how to have FUN :), and you were (and still are) our family when our family was far away.

God Bless everyone and continue to keep us in your prayers. Please pray specifically for Mike to gain strength. Pray specifically that he will eat and we will be able to give Mike the nutrition his body needs to maintain the fight.