Friday, September 5, 2008

Day one - Hope is lighting the way

We made it! We are here in our hotel room and I have so much to say. It is only been a week since this journey began, but it has been much longer. I will try to describe it. I know words will fail to truly give you a picture. In May, Mike start having issues with food. Things didn't sit right and he couldn't keep somethings down. It didn't seem like a big issue at first. By the time August came, he could only keep down liquids and crackers. He left to go on a TDY to Korea and things got much worse. By the time that he got home, he could only sip water and Gatorade. Literally sip and no more than 3 sips. He got home very late and one look at him and I knew something was wrong. I think I told my sister in law that he looks like someone who had cancer not knowing what was to come. We got into the doctor the next day (he didn't want to go to the ER...I almost did it anyway). God had a hand in getting that appointment. I called at 7:00 am on the dot. Actually 6:59 so that by the time I got through all the press 1, etc. It would be 7:00. However, I did not realize active duty can call in at 6:00 am. So of course there were no appointments. I told the lady on the other side,"You don't understand. He is really sick. He can't drink, eat and he has to have lost 30 pounds since I last saw him." She paused. Then she said, "The nurse is right here, do you want to talk to her?" Now all my military friends are thinking, "How did she call into the appointment line and a nurse was right there?" Normally they call you back with 24 hours. God. I explained what was going on and they walked us in that afternoon. We spent hours getting hydrated, xrays and the doc set up an Endoscope for us on Friday at Eglin. Now Friday was a down day, but the Doc is civilian and a workaholic. So Friday, we went there and he told us he found a mass and they biopsied it. He said we would have the results within 3-5 days and he made us an appointment to have a CT Scan. So we spent the whole weekend trying to keep Mike hydrated. Then Tuesday came. We went in for the CT Scan. Once that was over, we went back over to the GI Doctor. That is when he showed us the pictures and told us it was a Grapefruit size mass at the EG Juncture. So it was in his upper stomach and esophugus. He has Androcarcinoma. He even showed us the pictures from the endoscope. This GI doc was working already. He has appts, calls, Tricare, a worldwind of things going on. Wednesday, we went back to the GI doctor to again expand his esphogus and then we had the meeting with the Oncologist. That is when she told us that they found multiple lesions on his liver. He has 6-9 months with aggressive therapy (radiation and chemo). 2 months if we do nothing. No Hope. Again, things were set in motion on the medical end. Whirlwind.

So I am sitting here, writing this blog with unimaginable Hope. Unfailing Hope. Peace beyond all understanding right now. God place us in this storm and it is a great place to be. We are watching the visible hand of God right now. It all starts with a sister for life. Melissa. She had cancer. The kind with months to live. She is still alive 6 years later because of "Nutrition Therapy". That is the best way to describe our treatment path that we have chosen. She gave us the cell phone of a brother in Christ that will lead us down this path. This path we have chosen is not covered by our insurance.

For days, I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean. No land. No water. Sharks circling and my boat was going no where. Oh how we prayed. We asked the Lord for help. We needed to hear him. For the first time ever, I prostrated myself before him cried out. I now know what Job felt when he tore his clothes and cried to the Lord. Then slowly, God has built this tsuanami... Here is how the hand of God has moved:

*Roxanne...my angel in time of need. EVERY last thing I have needed she has provided. School pick up, groceries, house care. I will blog more about how God put us together. God definitely set this in motion the first Sunday we arrived in FL.
*Tammy picking up the phone. We got home on Tuesday, in the depths of despair. I played the phone message from Drs, etc. and her voice was there. I cried. Her familiar voice let me know I was not alone. I have struggled with that here in FL.
*countless "front row joes" at the hospital open up right as we get there. This is God knowing Mike doesn't have the strength to walk for long due to the pain in his belly
*enough money has flowed into our accounts to pay for at least the first month of Therapy
*Melissa booked this hotel for us and her company is picking up the bill for the 2 weeks we are here.
*Kathy's friend and doctor, Jason, confirmed we are on the right path through a comment he made about cancer and glucose.
*Originally we were not taking Elizabeth with us. I had a lifelong military friend dropping everything and flying in to take care of her. I was out running errands and I had a pit in my stomach. Unlike a pit I have ever had. I felt an overwhelming sense that Elizabeth should be with us. I called Dena at work and left her a voice mail. She called back laughing saying Doug was on his way home from work to book the tickets. The computers at Offutt were down all morning. He decided to leave to go home and use his home computer and was calling her to teel her. She said let me listen to a voice message in case it was from me. So needless to say, Elizabeth is with us.
* Mike had to go tell the Doctor's what we had decided to do. He went without me. On purpose I think. I just prayed for him. He thought there might have been a battle. The nurse that checked him in - Debbie- looked at him and said can I talk to you over there. Mike thought, "Oh no. More bad news." However, she said she heard what was going on. She lost her husband, a LT Col and flyer, 4 days after a crash. She wants to pray for him. She prayed with him right there and gave him her phone number and said to call anytime if he needs anything. She has no idea what encouragement she gave him and us. OH.. she normally works in another department but is filling in this week....
*Missy and this blog. I reached out to her. She just moved here this summer. I knew her through DMOSC, Christ Community Church, and friends. We only crossed paths for maybe 4 -6 months. I knew she had her own blog. I sent her an email that said I need you help. Explained that I needed the blog to update everyone and explained Mike's diagnosis. I signed that email "In His Hand and Holding on Tightly" because that is what we are doing. When she emailed me everything, I literally cried. It was perfect and she blessed us so much
* We had a great prayer warrior at our house last night. He is a treasure. God spoke to me as we were on our knees praying. Prior to his arrival, the anxiety was building. God sent him to pray with us.

TODAY:
* we arrived safely. I have to tell you twice I was so out of it that I thought I had missed turn offs.
*Pastor Hermon. Another angle sent to us through Melissa. THIS IS A TURNING POINT..
Pastor Herman called while we were on the road. Mike was asleep. He is so tired because his body is fighting. He prayed with me over the phone. It was so powerful. I was trying to lay my hands on Mike, while driving and holding up the phone. NO I don't have 3 hands. Right in the middle to the prayer when he was claiming Jesus to heal Mike, Mike woke up. He woke up saying "huh?" like someone spoke to him. When Pastor Herman was finished I said Mike woke up in the middle of the prayer. I handed the phone over to Mike. Mike mouthed, "Who is it?" I said just listen. He prayed a prayer for Mike. Mike placed his hand on his forehead and during the prayer as the bible tells about in James (I think). Mike said he felt a burning sensation that came from the top of his hand, through his head, down his throat, to his stomach. He said is felt like Jesus hands were inside his stomach moving things around. After the prayer, he said Paster Herman was the most powerful faith healer he had ever heard and fell asleep for 20 minutes. He woke up and was very hot. His face was red. However, things have changed. Mike had only drank maybe 4 ounces of water. He finished the bottle and has significantly less burping. He had organic soup tonight. Maybe 4-6 ounces that had ground up chicken. He has held down all the liquid treatments I have given him tonight. Mayber 12 -24 ounces. He didn't throw up phlgym at all. He has done that every day since he got home if he drinks too much.
* When we got to the hotel, our "nutrition therapist" comes to our room. He has a cart full of goodies. Dinner for Elizabeth and I from an organic restaurant. Food for Mike for the whole weekend that he had specificaly made. Muffins and bread from an organic bakery. Spring water. Supplements. Everything. We started tonight. We will go to the clinic in the morning to continue. It all makes perfect sense. I hope to blog about the treatment as well.

I know this was a long post. But I have so much to be thankful for. Watching God work is amazing. But Mike and I are convinced that God set this is motion to bring people to him. We have thanked him for that. I am different. So different than I was a week ago. While I accepted Jesus as my Savior about 10 years ago, I have opened a door to a new life this week. Everything is changing. God is healing me too. More on that later.

We have so much hope right now. We have always had Hope in Jesus, but now we have hope in this treatment too. AND peace.

I have to go to bed. Please continue to Pray for us. This is a long journey. Your prayers are felt. Your calls, emails, etc are uplifting. In everyway, we are feeding off of you. Please, please continue to call on the Lord. Pray that Mike will eat more and tolerate everything. Pray for me. I need to be able to take and manage all the tasks, pills, and treatments. Pray that Elizabeth will see how God is moving and grow into a deep relationship with him.

4 comments:

Fancy Nanc said...

Deanna, Mike, and Elizabeth,
I am not sure if my last message to you was posted so I am trying again. You know me and technology, sometimes we click and sometimes we don't.
God spoke and in few words created the world and all things in it so I have no doubt that He also spoke through the precious, faithful preacher words of healing. He is our Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. My prayer for you today has been that when you have been overwhelmed or felt the temptation to submit to your earthly fears, that God has just scooped you up into His protective arms and reminde
d you like so many who have gone before us in the faith, that He is faithful and there for you. I would say that I stand amazed at all He has done today, but instead I will just say that I have stood expectantly today and none of the days event are anything but a God kiss for you, Elizabeth, and Mike. I continually hold you in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Mike, Deanna, and Elizabeth,

Our prayers are fervent and frequent since we heard of this diagnosis this morning. I can't imagine what all you have had to deal with so far and the worries, but God is bigger than all that, and Isaiah 49:16 says "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." Beth Moore explained in a Bible study that being engraved on His hands means that He holds us so tightly that our outline or impression is engraved in His hands just as if you were to hold a stone tightly and it left an impression on the inside of your hand. I was reminded of this verse with the name of your blog, and I hope you feel that each minute of each day. My Mom and Dad are very into nutrition and supplements, so I don't know what the treatment is, but if you need anything or if I can pass along what they know let me know. Some of the supplements they take have testimonies from people with cancer who have beaten it with some of these nutrients. If you don't need the info, no problem either. I believe there is power in prayer of believers and in some of the non-traditional methods out there, so I am praying that each of those works miracles for you guys.

Much love,
The Irwin Family

Anonymous said...

Deanna
I feel it, your are right God is working and will not let Mike down.
I just got done reading Pslams 91 and I know that God has you under his wings and will protect your family.
You are in our thoughts every waking minute and I look forward to your daily updates.
Keep faith in the Lord and everything will be work out according to God;s plan.
Mom

Anonymous said...

Deanna, Mike and Elizabeth,
I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from, my help comes from the Lord. Psalm 120
Sending our love and prayers for you during this season that you're walking through with God. Please know that there are alot of prayer warriors praying for you up in Minnesota. I am a huge believer in alternative therapy of any kind and I believe that you are on the right path. Stay strong in the Lord and He will guide you. We love you and hold you in prayer. Shirley, Michael, Katie and Matt.