Monday, September 29, 2008

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

This is my verse today. I have said it a million times since about 4:00 pm today. Mike is doing somewhat better. We have gone to a completely green juice and it seems to make the gas a little better. I bought a wheat grass juicer today and he has had about 3 shots today. I actually have added in broccoli sprouts in with the wheat grass. He has had a few raspberries and about 1/2 tsp of raw honey for a treat tonight. He also had vegetable juice this morning and tonight along with his nutrition shake. I am trying to get as much nutrition in as possible as you can tell.

Today, we have added the Vstaton back into his medicine routine and it has made him sick. The Vstaton is important though because is cuts off the blood supply to the tumor. Mike had his IV Therapy, his LBG Therapy, and his Emotional/Breathing Therapy. After the breathing therapy, he was better. It is a way to breath to relax and get oxygen. When Mike is strong enough, I will have him blog about it. I don't understand it really. All I know is that he is better after it.

Elizabeth had a special day at Station 11 Sarasota County Fire Department today. Pete invited us to tour the station. We showed up with bagel and cream cheese in hand. Pete introduced us to everyone and showed us the inside. Then he took us out to the ambulance. He talked to Elizabeth about the heart and how it has 3 electrical pulses and how they can read it on the EKG. He also hooked Elizabeth and gave her a print out of her heart beat. Her pulse was high, because she was nervous. The more she watched the monitor the higher it got. It may me giggled. Then Pete allowed Elizabeth to do the coolest thing ever. I wish that we had Joel C and my nephew Conner with us at this point. I KNOW they would have loved it. Pete backed out the big ladder truck on the back alley. Then he pulled out this giant remote control. Elizabeth got to push the button that allowed the hydraulic legs to come out and plant them on the ground. Then she pushed a button and this giant truck was lifted so the wheels were off the ground. It was like a giant transformer. Very cool. Then, he allowed Elizabeth to climb up and run the ladder. She lifted it up and then put the basket on the ground. Then, Pete and Elizabeth climbed into the basket and Pete took her up in the basket. Maybe about 6 feet off the ground. I have the best picture. She was thrilled and loved it. Both Mike and I are completely humbled by God's care here through strangers that are now friends. Kindness is an amazing gift...

So back to 4:00.... My Mom was diagnosed with Stage 1 endometrial cancer today. I almost have to remove myself from it because the weight of just hearing it was almost too much to bear. I realize that Stage 1 is different than Stage 4, but I love her and I absolutely hate that my parents are going through almost the same thing that Mike and I are going through. I also hate that yet again, there is someone I love tremendously that I can not be there for right now. So all that came to mind was the Philippians verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I said it over and over and over. Mike and I said it over and over and over. Finally, my comfort came. I realized that I serve THE God. The great I am. The One who delivered Israel and the One who is delivering Mike. He is big enough for my Mom's battle. He can be there even though I can't.

I know my parents read this every night... Mom, I love you. I am praying for you. Read Psalms 91 over and over. Mike and I read it every morning. Meditate on it.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sunday - the day of rest

It is hard to believe that it is Sunday and tomorrow starts a new week. The days are running together now. More of the same. I woke Mike up and gave him breakfast of yogurt, honey, and 5 raspberries. I wish I could say that he slept last night, but he has a lot of gas pain. For some reason, it builds up in his stomach and he has to sit up to release it by burping. He started out last night sleeping in a chair but he was on the couch this morning.

We took him to the IV clinic and Dr. Monhollon was there. We talked about how dizzy and lightheaded he has been. He said Mike needs to eat 5 tiny meals a day. Oh how I wish!! He said at a minimum give him juice. Have I told everyone that I have been juicing for Mike at night? I went and bought a Juicer and organic produce. Tonight I made him an asparagus, spinach, celery, zucchini, and cucumber drink. He needs to be on an organic green diet as much as possible. I actually made extra tonight and put it in a ziplock and stuck it in the frig. I will try that for breakfast tomorrow morning. I have gotten Elizabeth juicing too. We both had an apple, grape, raspberry, and celery juice with our dinner. I really love the fresh pressed apple juice. It is sweet but not too sweet like to grocery store kind. In my spare time, I am trying to research "raw" recipes. I need to figure out how to cook for Mike. It seems the best diet and the best way to feed him is Raw. I will eventually get a food dehydrator and learn. I also need to get some recipe books. It is very interesting. It is a very new way to cook for me. It seems like you need to own a juicer, dehydrator, Cuisinart, and blender. I have to tell you, we love that raw restaurant here. If I can learn how to do it, it will be a win for everyone.

We left Mike with Dr. Monhollon and Elizabeth and I went to the Jungle Gardens in Sarasota. It is a mix between a small zoo and botanical gardens. It was really beautiful. I took lots of pictures of Elizabeth. At some point, I will take the pictures of the camera and down load them to the blog. The highlights were holding exotic birds, holding an alligator, and feeding flamingos. It sounds so Florida right??

We then headed to whole foods for juice and wheat grass for Mike's lunch. I am trying to have him drink wheat grass every day. One ounce of wheat grass supposedly has the nutrients of 2.5 pounds of veggies. We get Mike and then head to the ANWC. He does his LBG and a foot bath. He did fall asleep in the chair. In the meantime, I am sitting at the computer trying to balance the check book (ugh!). We leave from the clinic and come home. Mike immediately collapses into bed. He is really sleeping at the moment. I don't know if it will be long, but ANY sleep is good sleep for Mike.

I have no great wisdom or thoughts today. I just know that God is here and he is not leaving us ever. Please continue to pray for Mike. He needs sleep and nutrition.

Thank you God for another day to fight and to be together as a family.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

In the Trenches for a few days

The last really 48 hours have been hard. However, as I am typing, I think a ray of light is poking through.

Thursday night was a late night. We didn't get home until 8:30 and Mike didn't start his medication until 10:30. I cut them back that night. He only had 3 cups to down. I usually wait up until I know he is finished. I went to check on him at 11:30 and he was laid out on the bathroom floor. He said he was ok, but he just need to sleep. At this point, I let him sleep where ever and when ever he wants. I have been so sick at times that I have slept on the bathroom floor so I thought everything was ok. I went to bed and and heard a thud right as I was about to really sleep. In took me a few minutes, but I got up and went to check on Mike just in case. I found him laid out on the floor in a mess. He was too weak to get up. He couldn't even raise his head. I stayed calmed, cleaned him up and got him into bed. I called Bill because I was very scared. It was around midnight. Bill told me to call 911 and I walked into the room. Mike was talking and Bill wanted to talk to him. Mike was absolutely insistent that he didn't need to go to the hospital and that he was finally comfortable and wanted to sleep. At this point, we are thinking that something in the supplements are making Mike dizzy/faint. Remember, he had a similar episode on Tuesday. Mike is aware enough though when he gets that sensation that he lays down where ever he is so he doesn't faint and cause injury to himself. So Thursday night, I stayed with him and didn't sleep much. We managed to get him to the IV clinic on Friday. He is still weak and I need to help him. We go so far as to open all the doors so he can make a bee line to the car. At this point, if he is up for about 10 seconds he gets lightheaded. We recline the seat in the car, put his feet up on the dashboard and drive to the clinic. We get there and I leave Mike. They take such good care of us there. I leave with Elizabeth and head up to the American Nutriceuticals business office to pick up another medication for Mike. Then we head to an organic farm to buy some produce. We get there and it doesn't open until noon. So we head to lunch and then to pick up Mike. He is still the same. We load him up and take him to the ANWC for his other treatments. By the end of the treatments, he is no better. We head back to the condo and I get him to eat some yogurt with honey and a little bit of salmon. He feels better and sits up on the couch. Of course the whole day, he is drinking his nutritional drinks and water. I tuck him in to bed at around 9:30 pm.

Today, Mike wakes up and he is no better. I help him bath, dress, and get him to the car. Same thing as yesterday. We make sure his feet are up and I leave him with Pete at the IV therapy. Pete is this awesome paramedic who is an angel sent from God. It is just the little things. I elaborate more in a minute. Elizabeth and I come back to the condo and we head to the pool. We spend about an hour swimming and watching the cranes and boats go by. The pool is right on the bay and it is just a beautiful Florida setting. We shower and head back to pick Mike up at the clinic. Mike is still not better, so we try pure oxygen to see if that will help. It doesn't, but we head to the clinic. Mike is very pale and I am nervous. I decide to go and buy some yogurt and honey to keep at the clinic. Mike seems to like it and it helps him. By the end of the therapy at the ANWC, we decide to try and get a hold of Bill in Havana. It is very hard to reach him down there. We are successful and through the conversation, Bill determines that Mike is probably dealing with low blood sugar. Mike is not eating a lot. Anyway, Bill tells me to go get him honey and give him a few spoonfuls to see if it helps. I already had it and gave it to him and he starts to feel better. He sat up for over 10 seconds without feeling dizzy. He makes it to the car without stumbling. He is on the couch right now and doing 50 percent better. I stopped on the way home and got him an orange and raspberries. I made him dinner of a little bit salmon, 3 orange slices, 3 raspberries and his nutritional drink with added pre-digested protein. He is better.

God is still here. He hasn't left us or forsaken us. Even though we have had some scary moments in the past few days. God is whispering to Bill. I know it. We have been trying to figure this out for 2 days with everyone. But Bill listens and knows. He had been trying to call us from Havana and couldn't get through. He is in Havana at his medical clinic working with patients down there and yet Mike is still one of his main concerns. I have no doubt that God placed it in my heart to go get the yogurt and honey for Mike to keep at the clinic, because he knew it would be important later.

I want to let you know that God has been taking care of Elizabeth and I as well. Friday, I was exhausted to the brink of nausea due to the fact that I was up most of the night with Mike and worrying about Mike. I was treated to a massage where I feel asleep face down and left to sleep. Elizabeth was allowed to nap today in the massage room. She did actually nap. I was also treated to a b12 shot today. I have to tell you that it worked. I feel so good right now. Pete took one look at me this morning and recommended it. He also invited Elizabeth to stop by the fire station on Monday to visit. She was following him around at the clinic today. She even told him that she thinks he is a very nice man. He has kids of his own that are her age and I think our situation really hits home. Plus, he is a fireman and there is that unspoken respect and camaraderie with Mike and the AF.

I also had the privilege of meeting another client at the clinic today. Her husband is stage 4 melanoma that has spread to his bones. He is 40 and they have 3 kids age 7, 5, and 2 months. They have been through one round of chemotherapy that didn't work and they are here for the same reason. I had the joy of sharing with her and she is in the same spot. She even said that she knows she will be ok, but they are fighting for her boys, for time. They read about boys that lose their fathers too early and they worry about them. She praises God for their baby. The baby wasn't planned and after she found out she was pregnant, he went in for more permanent measures. That is where they found the melanoma on his upper thigh area. She has such hope. We BOTH have such hope here. AGAIN.. that word HOPE.... Praise God, we have HOPE...

Praise God for every child he puts on this earth. I am beginning to think that the majority of things accomplished for good is this world are motivated by a precious child. Parents are driven to create, heal, succeed, seek a greener environment, better schools, better health, even to live because of their child. But as I am typing this, it shouldn't surprise me. The bible says we are created in God's image and he created the ultimate good for the world through his precious baby boy, Jesus.

I was so strengthen today by talking to her. I see me in her. They are the same age. It is like looking into a mirror. The way she cares for him and loves him. How much she loves her children. They have people supporting them to help with the cost of coming here. I have been so blind to many needs in this world. Not the big disaster needs, but the small individual needs. You will never know the amount of strength, the amount of love, the amount of purpose, the amount of fight that we pull from each and everyone of you.

I wanted to thank everyone for the cards and notes and the gifts. To the 623rd, your card was overwhelming. We are still new here and yet you are treating us like we have been here our entire career. We know you stand ready to help at any point and I thank you. I am absolutely positive that we will be calling when we get back. To all our good friends at 12th AF, we are equally as humble by the out pouring of support and encouragement at every level. Tucson is really etched in our hearts forever. As we get stronger, we will come back to personally say thank you. Finally to the B-1 community, words can not express our deep love and gratitude to everyone. We "grew up" together. We spent 12 years with you and you taught us everything. You have been there from the day we were married, to the day we were blessed with our precious daughter. You taught us how to be there for people, how to have FUN :), and you were (and still are) our family when our family was far away.

God Bless everyone and continue to keep us in your prayers. Please pray specifically for Mike to gain strength. Pray specifically that he will eat and we will be able to give Mike the nutrition his body needs to maintain the fight.

Friday, September 26, 2008


I really need to go to bed so I will post a long one tomorrow. I spent time on the phone with friends tonight instead of typing! There is so much to say.

Please pray specifically for Mike that he will be stronger. He is very light headed and gets dizzy a lot. Pray that God will either fix that or that He will help us to diagnose the problem.

I do want to let everyone know that we got the box from our community group in Tucson and we got a box from our house that included all the cards that have been sent over the past 3 weeks. They were exactly what we needed today. We even watched "Facing the Giants" tonight as a family. GREAT MOVIE!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

My fault...

I guess people are still reading this thing. Thanks for all the emails and we are fine. The reason I didn't post yesterday was because I was extra tired. I left off on Tuesday with letting everyone know that I was doing the Liver/Gallbladder cleanse. I am still really new at the whole "detox" concept. I didn't realize how tired it would make me. It was VERY successful. I expelled over 300 stones to my best estimate. 5 were large stones and one was just absolutely huge. But it literally wiped me out. I was at the Wellness Center and I could barely keep my eyes open while helping Elizabeth with her math. We were learning how to check by eliminating 9's. Anyway, Bill was making fun of me and I told him that I had done the Liver Cleanse. He looked at me and ordered me to go lie down in the massage room. I told him I would be fine and he looked at me and told me to go in no uncertain terms. I feel asleep smiling as he was trying to help Elizabeth learn the concept. Elizabeth said he did it differently and she just decided to skip it!

So we have been running around to appointments today. We always have the IV therapy in the morning and then today we had a spider bite residue testing, colonic, and then emotional breathing therapy. We ended the day back at the clinic for LBG. We finished up at 8:00 pm.

Here are the interesting points of the day. Mike did test positive to spider residue and will be taking a homeopathic to counter act that. It is important so the immune system is free to fight the cancer. The emotional therapy took 2 hours, but Mike said it was good. He is learning how to breathe and to deal with emotional issues through the breathing. He also said he cried like a baby. Again, this journey is amazing and life changing. Mike has cried twice before he was diagnosed with cancer. Once when his dad passed away and the other time was when Elizabeth was born. This journey is literally shattering all kinds of walls, ideas, and stereo types.

The best part of the day is when we went back to the clinic. I picked up dinner for Elizabeth and I. Bill gave us the key and the alarm code. We let ourselves in and I hooked Mike up on the LBG. Remember this therapy is aimed at helping the lymphatic system drain all the toxins out of the body. We need to do it everyday to keep it flowing from all the medicines and treatments. I got Elizabeth set up in the kitchen area and then went back and sat on the table in Mike's treatment room and we talked. It is the first time we have had a chance to really just share thoughts in awhile. I had a moment where I was listening to Mike share about another dream/vision and it was almost like an outer body experience.

Mike shared that he was talking to Jesus about this journey of cancer and what comes next when the healing is complete. Does Jesus want him to stay in the AF, go to seminary, become a missionary? What do you want me to do? Mike was overwhelmed with a feeling that Jesus said nothing. There is no cost to your healing. It is a free gift. Go live you life.

The words are so simple, but so POWERFUL and cut right to the point. Jesus is not giving Mike a "works" healing. He is not healing Mike because Mike will be required to do something for Him. It is a free gift. Just like our salvation. It is free to all who call on it. But, I will tell you this. God may not require anything of Mike, but in the end, how can you keep this journey a secret and not share it with anyone. How can you not go out and claim the miracles that God has done?

I finally shared with Mike my quiet time that I had about a week ago. I told Mike that I literally had a vision of Mike laying across my arms and my head was bowed down. I knelt on my knees and held him up and then laid him down at the feet of God. I then backed away with my head bowed the whole time. I told Mike that I had to give him up to God. I had to give God the glory and authority over this situation. As it teaches us to pray "that His will be done". I finally said that phrase that I said over and over again as Mike and I were going through infertility treatments, " I would rather be in God's will and lose Mike, than to have Mike and be out of His will." I know that might be hard for our friends that are not Christians to understand and I can't really explain it. I just know that nothing should come before God in our lives and as I have matured in my faith, I can say that.

Ironically enough, Mike shared he did the same thing. I hope to get Mike to blog this weekend. He is so filled right now and when he speaks about his spiritual journey, I am left speechless most of the time.

We have added a predigested liquid protein to Mike's regime today. Bill is concerned he is not getting enough nutrition. So we are trying to beef him up. We need to keep his healthy cells healthy. I don't think he has lost more weight, but I see him every day.

So where are we? I wish I could tell everyone that Mike has had this remarkable healing and the tumor is gone, but this is a battle of small victory's. The first victory is always that we have another day to fight. PRAISE GOD. Mike is still drinking well. He is eating very small bites of fish and some soup. That usually happens at dinner time. Right now he is just exhausted. Our biggest daily battle seems to be how to fit all the medicine in with all the therapies and then eat and drink enough to keep him strong. AND we need to do this with a grapefruit size tumor taking up most of the room in his stomach. So for those praying, please pray that Mike will sleep a long stretch tonight. Pray that the pain and gas in his stomach will cease. Pray that he will eat more and more everyday. Pray that he can have energy. Pray for me and my energy level and that Elizabeth will manage to nap once in awhile. She has been staying up late and getting up early. I worry about that. The last thing we need is anyone of us getting sick and exposing it to Mike. We want his immune system to focus on one thing... the nasty cancer cells!

God Bless you and please continue to blog and email. You really have no idea how encouraging and refreshing it is to us. Love you and miss everyone!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Rough Day - Better Evening

Well, as many of you know, cancer unfortunately is a battle and I was reminded again today that victory is a process of 3 steps forward and 1 step back. So last night, I went to bed at around 11:30. Mike was making his way through the medicines and was throwing up. I went to sleep in the second bedroom, because one of us needs to get sleep. I slept pretty hard too. Mike spent about 3 hours throwing up again last night and then spent the rest of the night with gas pains. I woke him up to do the medicine and he looks exhausted and pale. I "racked up" the medicines and then left him to take a shower, while I showered in the other bathroom. What I didn't realize is how weak and exhausted he was. He said he got in the shower and had to immediately lay down or he was going to pass out. He literally crawled out of the shower and back into bed. I came in to check on him and he said he is really sick and is very dizzy. He said he is not doing the medicine because he physically can't. I get him some water with electrolytes. I tell him that it is ok, we will just work on feeding you. Mike, however, wants to go to the IV therapy because he doesn't want to give the cancer the day off. We load him in the car - PRAISE GOD for this condo! I know for a fact, Mike couldn't have made it down the escalator and out to the car if we were still at the hotel today. We head off to IV therapy and call Bill. Bill then calls the IV clinic and they are ready for us when we arrive. We get Mike to a chair. The clinic is empty (PRAISE GOD!) and Cory, Victoria, and the other "nurse" (I am drawing a blank at her name!) surround Mike and take over. Victoria does a NAT testing on Mike and makes a bag vitamins and minerals for him. So he has a bag of nutrition and then his IV Therapy. I leave Mike there and Elizabeth and I head off for our typical errands to include the new Lego Batman game. We came back to the condo for a short time and I was able to lay down for about 30 minutes and then head back to get Mike. From there we go to the LBG Therapy. They are doing it in a reclining chair for Mike so it allows him to sleep a little bit. After LBG, we had a new treatment today... colonics. I am not going to blog specifics here, but the purpose of it is to pull toxins out of your body. They were able to do that and Mike is better. PRAISE GOD!

As you can probably tell, it was one of those days but God is so good. First of all, Elizabeth and I were in the car on the way to pick up Mike from treatment. We were talking about Daddy and cancer. She said, "Once I got through all my tatrums, everything was fine. I just laid it on God and there is nothing to worry about." She just said it so matter of fact. It is over for her. I have been a little worried about her. She really seems fine and almost like we are on vacation. I had been thinking that maybe she wasn't dealing with it. But I realized today, she did deal with it in the best way possible. She laid it on God and left it there. (Oh, Lord, please teach me to be more like her! Amen!)

Today, when we get to the Wellness Center, we have a box and a letter. The box contained very special mail from my mother. It was a 6 page letter that I will keep the rest of my life. We also recieved "Get Well" cards from my neice's 5th Grade class at Walker Elementary. You can't even imagine how precious they were. My nephew did a GREAT Star Wars Book card with lots of Star War ships. We all know Mike loves Star Wars. My neice's card said "Love Jesus! He will help!" We got one from Aleeeka too! She is my cousin technically, but the same age as Elizabeth. One little boy told Mike that he "hopes he gets better soon to get back in the air" with an fighter plane and wings he drew by hand! Megan and Mackenzie we liked your cards too. AND Rebecca, we remember when you broke you arm at Madissens birthday party. It made us sad when that happened. Mrs. Scarbrough, thank you for the special notes!

Now the letter came from Bernie and her family. Bernie, you touched us deeply and brought us to tears. God Bless you! I hope to write you very soon.

Finally,I got a call from an old friend Donna today. It was perfect timing and she allowed me to release a little bit. To everyone who is reading, writing, calling and praying, thank you. thank you. thank you. We have so many wonderful memories with everyone. Rich and Sarah, where are you? We have lost contact with so many through the years but it doesn't mean that we like it. Our personal email is

May God Bless everyone for lifting us up.

Prayer this morning

I just want to post a prayer need this morning. Mike had a rough night and is really sore, tired, and lacks energy. For those who are praying, please call upon the Lord for him this morning. He needs strength, rest, and the ability to get supplements down rather easily today. Blessings this morning!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Little Things speak for God

I am still brought to tears by how such an awesome God, with infinite power, that created the universe in 6 days, can know the simplest ways to pierce our hearts here.

Mike continues to improve with little baby steps every day. He spent hours this morning throwing up, but that continues to be a good thing. He had his IV Therapy and then LBG and a detox foot bath this afternoon. I actually had a foot bath too. I have been "ordered" by Bill to have two this week. Bill wants Mike to concentrate on adding nutrition to his routine. Tonight, he had lentil and salmon soup. He has one small bite of my lentil burger. He finished a nutrition drink and he had maybe two ounces of a yogurt prune drink that I made for him. All this is wonderful food is focused on getting proteins in his body and trying to beef up his digestive track. He also drank a full glass of cold water tonight. Again, this is a baby step. Mike could not drink anything cold when we got here. Now he can. God is so good.

God continues to put people in our path that just humble me. At the IV clinic, some of the guys that work there are off duty paramedics. Everyone at that clinic goes above and beyond the call of duty. I think God has placed Mike in many peoples' heart. The paramedics seem to really look out for him like he is one of there own. On Sunday, Mike's IV port became infiltrated. Dr. Monhollon tried to get one started, but his veins are hard to get in his left arm. So he called and got a hold of Cory. Cory walked away from the Tampa Bay football game and came in on his own time to help Mike. He even said he wouldn't have done it for just anybody, but when he knew it was Mike, he came.

Today, Pete brought Elizabeth this perfect shark tooth. It is about 3 inches high and about 2 inches across. It is very cool. Elizabeth was stunned. Our routine in the morning is to drop Mike off at the IV Therapy. Elizabeth and I have fun with it because we pretend we are dropping him off for school. I hand him his lunch - 5 pills that he needs to swallow in 3 hours - and Elizabeth walks him in to get him settled.

Today, she popped in the car with a shark tooth. I asked her what it was and she said Mr. Pete gave it to her. It is a shark tooth. All the time she was just looking at it. I asked her, "Did he find it? Do you say thank you? Did you give him a hug? What kind of tooth is it?" She just looked up and said I did say thank you, but I didn't ask him anything else. So she went back in and gave him a hug and found out that he had found it on the beach and had it at his house. Now, this may seem like a little thing, but it really isn't. That means that when he is at his house, he has thought about us. He cared enough to bring it to Elizabeth and give it to her. I think it is God giving Elizabeth a little hug through Pete.

I love the small gestures in this journey. The emails, the cards, the phone calls, the blogs. All of it. It may seem like the littlest of things, but trust me God uses you to encourage us. Speaking of cards, Roxanne is putting all the cards that we have gotten at home in the mail to us tomorrow. We look forward to getting them and reading through them.

In His Hand and Holding on Tightly!! ~Deanna

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Our Weekend

I didn't get around to posting last night. I was tired. I seem to blog that a lot, huh?

Yesterday, I woke up at 5:30 to "rack them up" as Mike states. Rack them up means to prepare the medicine and line them up in the bathroom. The morning is around 8-9 three oz cups, a cream, a homeopathic for his elbow, another one for under his tongue, a drinking water and a rinse out the mouth bottle of water. Then I leave him to do what he needs to do.

We were at the IV clinic by 8:00 am. Dr. John Mulhoun, met us there to give Mike his IV. Again, someone who is giving of himself and his family time for us. (Praise God!) Now, MY plan for the day was to have breakfast with Elizabeth and then go back to the condo for a nap, pick Mike up at 11:00, fix his lunch time medicines and then take Elizabeth shark tooth hunting again. That is not how the day turned out.

It still amazes me that this journey is not only about Mike, but how God is using it to refine me as well. Here is something about me that you may not know: I love schedules. I love organization. I hate to be late. I am stressed when things don't go according to plan. I plan in advance to avoid the stress of the unplanned. When Mike was diagnosed, I planned. I planned option A and option B. I formulated the plans pretty quick too. That is how I dealt with it. I felt like I needed all my bases covered to avoid the stress if something happened to Mike both good and bad. I needed to know all the options that the AF might throw at us, because secretly, I made plans for every option. Now, planning is a good thing, but when it takes on a life of it's own (as in my case) and doesn't allow for God to show his amazing, awesome, intimate, and personal power to move, that is not good. That is what God is showing me how to work on right now.

Back to yesterday, after a few minutes Bill arrives. It is really the first time in a few weeks that we have talked to Bill for an extended period of time. After the IV, we are then supposed to go back to the Wellness Center for the LBG treatment and the infared sauna. Bill will be doing the treatments. My first thought, "OK. Plan A is out the window. Lord give me the energy to go without a nap today."

(below is paraphrasing the best I could. I may not have names and places right)

The joy in scrapping plan A was the fact that we got to sit around and really talk to Bill yesterday as he continued to reveal himself to us. Do you know that Singapore has adopted Bill's cancer treatments? Also, Dubai and Saudi Arabia? Of course, Havana too. That is where he has another clinic. People fly from all over to see him. Next week, someone with stage 4 melanoma is coming in from Mexico. He and Dr. John talked about someone who is coming in from NC next week as well. Both of these new clients will be in town for at least 10 days and they will be doing the IV treatment like Mike. The person coming in from NC has a recurrence of cancer. Bill said that this person had cancer and had surgery and got MSRA so of course the cancer came back. Dr. John said, "Really, why?" Bill said when a cancer patient gets MSRA (the bacteria you get from being at a hospital) that 100% of the time that patient will see a recurrence of cancer. That is because your immune system fights the MSRA and it is weak and it allows the cancer to survive and bloom. So I had to ask him what is MSRA and what can you do about it? He told me what it was and he said he has developed a product to eliminate it called Micro-dine(?). It is a surgical scrub that cleans and coats the hands with a barrier that kills any bacteria and the MSRA. This barrier lasts 6 hours and it is not toxic to the body if hands go in the mouth. He said it would eliminate it. He has a patent for it. His company also sells this stuff called Healthy Hands that I am in love with. It is a lotion/antibacterial barrier for you hands. It is made of completely healthy things like Vitamins and NO alcohol, but it does the same thing for the average Joe. It kills things on your hands, but then creates a barrier on your hands to repeal germs for 4 hours. You can wash your hands and get them wet during that 4 hour window and it still works. That is so cool! We use it everyday.

Bill also talked about how we need to start getting food into Mike to get his digestive system working. He ordered Mike... Yes, ordered, Bill is a General in South Korea (more on that later) go to Simon's and eat soup for lunch. He also told me to go get dried organic prunes and organic yogurt and start feeding it to Mike 3 times a day to start getting bacteria back into his intestines. So off Elizabeth and I go to buy dried prunes, yogurt, and a few other staples. We land back at the condo, I rehydrate the prunes, prepare Mike's lunch and afternoon medicines and head to the clinic. We arrive 3 hours after Mike started and he is not done yet. As you know, I have already planned Plan B, based on the conversation. But I roll with it and make Plan C. Elizabeth and I hop in the car and go to Barnes and Nobles to buy the book, "The Shack" by William Young. (I am 100 pages into it and it is a MUST read!). Then we head to Simon's and get Mike soup and a wheat grass shot.

Some day, I will blog on the amazing food down here.

We head back to the clinic, drop off Mike's lunch and medicine and Elizabeth and I head to Veggie Magic for lunch. We both have the most amazing lunch out of raw vegetables. Elizabeth had the pizza and I had the mock burrito. The food there is all vegetables or raw material like seeds, and it was the most delicious and filling lunch. We even had dessert - the black and white brownie and chocolate "ice cream". Pull up the web-site and look at what we ordered. I don't want to bore you with the ingredients. It was so good and tasted like a real burrito and real pizza.

We then head back to get Mike and meet Bill at the ANWC. Once we help get Mike all hooked up on the LBG. Bill and Mike are talking about everything from nutrition to what Mike does in the AF. Mike told him what he does now, what he did with the B-1, and that he was going to fly the Predator until he got sick. So Bill starts probing. Mike tells him about his seizure almost 3 years ago at work. Mike tells him about the spider bite theory. Remember, the day before Mike had the seizure, Mike was bitten by a spider repeatedly on the leg. Mike described the spider. Bill said either a brown recluse or a black widow. Mike said exactly, but we know it is not a brown recluse, because the bite didn't progress as it would. Bill was talking about the black widow and the nervous system and really agreed with Mike that it probably did cause the seizure. He then looked at me and said remind me to test for any residue of the venom in his body. He then turns back to Mike and says go on. Mike tells him about the MRI, CAT scan, the anti-seizure medication for two years ... Bill then interrupts. Now we know what caused the cancer to explode. Anti-seizure medication suppresses the immune system and allows the cancer to go unchecked for 2 years. At this point, I am just lost in thought. Is this true?

I am constantly dumbfounded in this walk with cancer. Literally rendered speechless. From the first diagnosis to now. I really have walked through this life not thinking that one thing has something to do with another. Food that we eat, medicine we take.. I mean I really thought our body was somewhat simple in it's function. Now I am learning about how certain foods create specific enzymes. How our fluid around our head and running down our spine has a balance and a rythmic flow and it can be out of balance. How everything that God created in our body has a purpose in keeping us healthy. I just didn't give it much thought other than what the media told me - you need to exercise, you need to eat fruits and veggies, the basic messages. I never knew WHY. HOW does everything interact. It really isn't about the number on the scale. You can be the thinnest person by the world's standards and "healthy", but literally be killing yourself on the inside. It is about how the systems within your body are functioning. ALL systems, not just your heart.

We talked a little bit about the cancer. Mike wanted to know what happens. Will we get it removed? Bill said something that really struck me and I think was a learning point for me in this battle. It is about living a healthy life. Right now he is trying to kill the cancer. So if he kills the cancer and the big tumor is dead and is the size of a softball, that is better than living with an active cancer tumor the size of a pea. So, if surgery is needed to remove it, what is the quality of life afterwards? He said when we get to that bridge we will cross it. If we need to remove it, he will find Mike the best qualified surgeon in the world to remove it.

He is right, you know. It is about living a healthy life. It is about living each day that the Lord gives us. It is about planning your options but allowing enough flexibility for God to move you and not about you moving God. I am wondering how many blessings and lessons I have lost over the years by not being flexible, by sticking to the plan I have created. When am I going to learn that this life is about allowing God to be glorified through me with HIS PLAN A!!!

So this is my blog for the weekend. After the IV therapy today at 2:00 we will be doing the LBG again. We will be gone until 7:30 or so. There won't be time tonight to blog. I will tell you this. I am doing the Liver/Gallbladder cleanse today and tonight. It is supposed to detox your liver and gallbladder and most people expel gall stones doing this. I will blog about it on Monday. May God bless your Sunday. Please continue to pray for Mike. That he can start fueling his body and have time to take the protocol. That he can have more and more energy. Pray for my learning in this battle and that I will continue to open up to God more and more. Pray for Elizabeth. It is almost 11:00 here and she is still asleep. Pray that God will allow her rest as well.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Two Week Marker

Today is Friday and we pulled into Sarasota two weeks ago. My favorite thing to do is to look back and see God's care and to see the slow but steady improvement in Mike's condition. He is so much stronger than when we got here. He is still drinking. He is eating soup every night. Praise God. He is still spends a lot of time throwing up, but that is part of the "cancer game" no matter what treatment you are doing.

When I was growing up, I had a friend, Gretchen Houser. We lost contact after we both moved in High School, but we used to play this game at her house. We would sit in her kitchen and blind fold each other. The person that was not blind folded had 3 minutes to make a potion out of anything edible in the kitchen. The object was to make each other throw up. You can not imagine the stuff we used to make! I know it is weird, but we did that for one summer. The reward at the end of the game was Blue Bell Cookies and Cream ice cream. I bring this up, because every morning as I am breaking apart all the pills and mixing it with soup, iron, liquid vitamins, water, juice, whatever... I think of that summer at Gretchen's.

Today, Elizabeth and I moved all our stuff from the hotel into this wonderful 2 bathroom condo. God has provided and we are so blessed. The owner called tonight to check in with us. The best thing about this condo is that the parking is right outside the door. We are on the first floor. Mike can literally be in a bed in 10 steps. Sometimes that is really important after a particularly hard day. Chris, the owner, thought it might be good for others in the situation that we are in. He wants me to give his name and number to the Wellness Center. That is a praise as well. To be able to bless others through our journey here. God is so good.

Speaking of the move, it felt like I was moving from the TLF into housing after a PCS. The AF has prepared me in so many ways for this journey. The ability to pack a van, loaded with basic needs like kitchen supplies, hot plates, a pot, a chopper, paper goods, laundry needs, paperwork, files, banking needs, computer, pens, tape, paper, notebooks, phone rosters, clothes, toys, media, medicine, and camera all in an hour. The ability to take detailed notes as Bill is saying take this and that. The ability to find a laundromat. The ability to move into a hotel and be organized. The ability to take the protocol to Office Max, have them blow it up, laminate it, and use markers to check off everything that I give Mike. The ability to fit a huge amount of leftovers in a small refrig. The ability to repack, load the van, and move to a new location. ALL of these are skills that I learned from being an AF Wife. In fact, Bill mentioned something a week ago about how he knew I was serious when I packed my van and loaded my child and husband and drove 8 hours to Sarasota. Honestly, it didn't even phase me. I have done it before and will do whatever it takes. That describes all the AF wives I know. AND while I am on my soapbox here.... So many of the blessings have come from the relationships that I formed while being apart of the Spouse's Club, Squadron Spouses, and PWOC. They can really be a lifeline and that is why I still believe they are an important part of the Air Force life.

Tonight is short, because I am tired and Mike has IV Therapy at 8:00 in the morning. That means I have to be up at 5:30 to prep the supplements for him to get down before we leave.

Please pray the Mike will continue to drink well. That he will begin to eat and swallow pills. Pray that I will have energy. Please continue to pray for Bill and that God will continue to whisper our treatment in his ear. We know God is that involved in our care.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tidbits in no particular order

Yesterday was such a powerful day and I am so glad God gave Mike the strength to blog his vision. You need to know it took Mike over two hours to write that post. But it was important to write down as a record. Things are hard here, but we are so strong in our little cocoon. God is so strong and that is what is making us strong. There is no other explanation. Absolutely none. I am constantly brought to tears on this journey during my quiet times and when my mind reviews the tremendous gifts that God has bestowed on us. I know that God will use this somehow for His glory and I can't wait to see what he does or even what He wants us to do with it. The song "Yes, Lord" is running through my mind right now.

So let me give you a run down of the last 48 hours to show that God continues to guide and direct us daily. When I found out we were going to be here 3 more weeks, I wanted to move into a 2 bathroom place. It is off season here right now (the snowbirds move in at the end of October) and so everything is very reasonable. I put a call into Carrie Simmons who was stationed up the road in Tampa this summer and asked if she knew of anyone with a condo in this area. Carrie put out an email and put us in touch with a friend whose family has a condo in Siesta Key. He is allowing us to stay there for a extremely low rate that is really the same cost as the hotel room. Not only does it have two bathrooms, it has two bedrooms and a kitchen. I can start cooking and I can lay out Mike's medicine to stay. Again, God has blessed us more through Melissa and Giact. They are picking up the cost of the condo. I pray that God will allow us the opportunity someday to be His light on this earth to someone like Melissa has for us.

Carrie, thanks for allowing me to pick up the phone and just ask. I treasure you and the time we had at DM and PWOC together.

The IV clinic has agreed to open up over the next few weekends for Mike to continue his IV therapy for the 21 consecutive days. We are at Florida Integrative Medicine in Sarasota.

Mike is drinking. Praise God. If you haven't read last night's blog please do. That will explain everything.

We got a call from ADT yesterday afternoon at 3:00 that our alarm was going off at the house. It was the side door to get into the garage. It seemed like a plausible place and time for someone to get into the house. I called Roxanne and told her. Then ADT called again and said the front door alarm and the laundry room alarm were set off. I called Roxanne again and asked her if she could drive over and be on the look out for whoever might be in the house. Not to go in, but to maybe jot down a plate number. Praise God, but the police got there and everything was secure. The door to the garage was unlocked, but nothing was taken. I don't know how that happened, but I thank God for Roxanne and her family. I can not even begin to tell you how much they have done for us. I also Praise God that I know the true definition of stuff. I really thought someone had broken in, but I knew everything important was in the room with me - God, Mike and Elizabeth. The rest is just stuff.

My brother has had some post "gallbladder" complications. He was admitted again today with pancreatistis. I am going to ask everyone to add him to your prayer list. God has given me three amazing men in my life after my Savior - Mike, my Dad and my brother. It pains me deeply that I can not be there to help him and my sister-in-law and friend. All I can give them is prayer, which is the most powerful weapon I know. He is in a lot of pain.

Our dear friends at the Wellness Center have allow us to use their address for mail over the coming weeks. The address there is :
American Nutriceuticals Wellness Center
6981 Curtiss Ave Suite #6
Sarasota, FL 34321

I wanted to say Happy Birthday to Patti! Her birthday is tomorrow.

Please continue to pray for Mike's full healing. Pray that Mike will continue drinking from the "River of Life". Pray that God will give rest tonight. Last night was rough. Pray that God will continue to reveal His incredible and beautiful face to us. Pray that this journey will forever solidify Elizabeth's walk with him. I want to ask for specific prayer tonight for the amazing people that God has placed in our path - Mike, Bill, Donna, Deanna, Lindy, Cory, Pete, Dr. John, Bill, and Donna. Pray that God will Bless then to the nth degree for there amazing kindness, love, support and concern.

In His Hand and Holding on Tightly! ~Deanna

PS.. Bill has a Deanna that works at the Wellness Center. I have never had the opportunity to make a friend with someone that has my name. It is so cool and confusing. Now if only Dena was here...... LOL!

PSS. For all our Military friends, we got the best email from the Dickmans. Col. Dickman said if Mike starts filing a daily ATO, then he knows he is on his way to complete recovery! We just laughed!

I'll see you in New Jerusalem, on the bank of the river under the tree.

Once again Deanna allows me to post a bit.

So I have this grapefruit sized tumor at the junction between my esophagus and stomach, and for a long time, my most pressing problem has been to stay hydrated. I can only sip-and I mean micro-sip-small amounts and then I have to belch tremendous amounts of gas. It causes a lot of belly pain, all that gas. There is spitting up of phlegm involved to. It seems that anything that I want to put in has to be offset by getting rid of many times the volume in gas and phlegm. It's a huge problem with taking the supplements too. I've been so thirsty, dry mouth and throat all the time, and we avoid being outside in the heat at all costs, which cuts me off from fresh air and sunshine.

In all my spare time-(Ha...there isn't any...every waking moment is scheduled for some kind of treatment or supplement) I've been reviewing what the Bible has to say about healing. But I catch a few moments here and there. And for some strange reason I've been fantasizing about being able to drink water and fruit juice and eat fruit. To be able to just pick up a jug of cool, clean water that doesn't taste bad (mine has some powerful supplements in it right now that foul the taste a bit) and to just chug it all down and demolish it. It would be a miracle. And then to pick an orange, crush the juice out of it and drink it, or maybe a perfectly fresh peach. My fantasies all involve water and fruit now.

Today Bill increased the amount of beet-derived vitamin c in my IV therapy. (The other great thing about the IV therapy is I get about and extra liter of fluid out of it!) I was exhausted at the end, and we cancelled the rest of the day's therapies. But while I was dozing on the drip, I had a vision, or dream, or fantasy, or whatever you want to call it that Deanna thought I should blog.

I was in New Jerusalem, sitting on the bank of the river of life, underneath the tree of life. (Revelation 22). Jesus came over and sat down beside me. He was wearing a clean cut beard, looking perfectly healthy, smiling. He was wearing a plain robe looking thing, sort of like a Jedi outfit. He did not speak a word. There was light all around us, but it wasn't hot or uncomfortable at all. Like the most visually vibrant blue sky day, but not a drop of sweat or discomfort. (I am not a sun/humidity person, even on my best of days) and I was perfectly comfortable.

I dropped to my knees at his feet, crying, but his hands were soon on my shoulders, lifting me up to sit beside him on the river bank, right beside him, and just a bit lower on the bank. He said not a word, just kept looking me in the eye and smiling. I stopped crying-there was simply no place or reason for it here. From somewhere he took out two goblets. These were big, royal court, jewel encrusted things like you see in the movies when they depict a royal/imperial feast.

He hands one to me , and looks at the river. Because I've had my eyes on him, I haven't noticed until now that he has handed me the gold goblet, and kept the silver goblet for himself. They are not the same! I say something like "Lord, at least you take the gold goblet...mine cannot be better than yours." I gently push the goblet towards him, and he just smiles and exchanges goblets with me.

And then, we each scoop a goblet full of water from the river of life, and I begin to drink. To drink like I've never drunk before. Deep and long, more than I can ever remember, and the water is cool and tastes better than any water has ever tasted before. It sort of fades out there.

So Deanna hauls me back to the hotel room. I'm thirsty. So I polish off my .5 liter bottle that has the sups added to it. It goes down pretty easy, with much less gas and pain. I normally nurse that little bottle all day long without finishing it. It, maybe another liter of supplements mixed in little cups of water, and my trusty IV are all I usually get. I'm really tired, so I conk out on the bed for a while.

Thunderstorms came this afternoon while I was sleeping. I thank God for the rain and remember Tucson and hope they are having a good monsoon season, getting all the needed rain for the people and the Sonora, but without destructive flooding. I remember that one of my greatest joys there was hiking Sabino and Bear Canyons in the afternoon during monsoon season. If you go there after lunch, you can hike them in the blazing 113 plus degree heat, and then watch God send the thunderstorms through the canyons mid to late afternoon. You can let the rain blast you and cool you off and listen to his thunderous voice roll off the cliffs. Utterly fantastic.

Deanna mixes me up a liter of water. I drink it. She makes me a large-cup of my favorite purple cool-aid supplement. I drink it. She mixes me up another liter of water, which I'm working on now. In the last few hours, I have drunk more water than probably the whole week previous! Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!!!!!

I open up my Bible to continue my study of Biblical healing. I run square across Luke 11:5, where Jeshua has just taught the disciples the Lord's prayer because they asked him to. And then he teaches them something else. He teaches them to boldly ask for the stuff they need, repeatedly if necessary, because sometimes people will give you what you want just to get you to stop bugging them. And then he teaches them that if they intend to give good things to their own kids, then they should ask God for whatever they need, because surely He knows how and what to give us, His children, the very best of everything that we need.

I was also able to sleep last night with only 2 or 3 wake ups! Usually it's about every hour, from back or belly aches from overly spasmed muscles or gas pain, or the tumors.

Your prayers for us helped make a huge breakthrough today! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Please pray thanks to Him for what He has done for us today and that He will continue to be gracious and merciful.

"By His stripes we are healed."
Love in Christ

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Have you ever really listened to the words to that classic hymn?

Great is thy Faithfulness, Great is Thy Faithfulness. Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed, Thy hand has provided. Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me.

Bill came in to see Mike during the IV Therapy this morning. He made it back from Cuba, and stopped at the clinic across town to check on him. Again, Bill could have waited until we came to the clinic this afternoon, but he wanted to see Mike. He even called us last night on his way home from the airport in Miami. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

The IV therapy that Mike is taking appears to be working too well, too fast, and maybe even too aggressive. Bill thinks it is taking too much out of Mike (for lack of better words). Mike started the Beet derived Vitamin C and DMSO routine on Friday. Mike is starting to experience a lot of pain in the tumor sites and is throwing up an immense amount of phlegm. All that is good, but remember, we are doing a balancing act. We want to beat down the cancer, but also increase his strength, his spirit, and his health. So we are making some changes to the IV Therapy tomorrow and will continue to do the IV Therapy for 21 consecutive days. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

Mike feels like the tumor in his stomach is small as he presses on his belly to check. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

We are now extending our stay here to continue on this path. I am so grateful, because I felt in my heart that leaving Friday was too soon. Great is Thy Faithfulness...

We will be moving to a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo sometime soon. One bathroom is getting very hard with as much time as Mike is spending there. Giact has graciously provided this hotel room for us and also offered to pay for our new location without a second thought. (To everyone at Giact, Thank you. You have humbled us and brought us to tears.) Great is Thy Faithfulness....

My family is sending us a debit card to help pay for treatment costs. This was offered to us before we even knew we were staying longer. He took care of our needs before we knew what we needed. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

Mike is snoring on the couch right now and resting. Great is Thy Faithfulness...

Did you know the reason why the Beet derived Vitamin C is so important? It is the only Vitamin C source that has 3 added proteins that are proven to fight cancer. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

Everyone is continuing to watch everything for us at home so we can stay here. Thank you. Great is Thy Faithfulness....

Lord, we testify to your unfailing goodness and mercy in our lives. You ARE faithful. Thank you for your mercy. May we continue to walk in your path that have laid out for us. We are humbled by the depth of your knowledge of our intimate needs. Thank you for everyone out there that is praying for us, helping us, and supporting us. To God be the Glory! AMEN!

(I will post an address once we relocate, Thom. Melissa and Patti, you spoke to our hearts!)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow belongs to God, so live today by the Grace of God and do good unto others

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow belongs to God. So live today by the Grace of God and do good unto others"
This is Bill's battle cry. It really hit home tonight when I read that we lost a fellow friend in Tucson from a bike accident. He was on his way to have lunch with his wife and daughter. All we are ever promised is this moment. Mike has been diagnosed with cancer and they have said that his time is almost up. But really, we should look at each day, each moment as if our time is almost up. Do we all really know when God will call us home? Bill told us the first day we arrived that he had a client that he had worked with. They had a great meeting and his cancer was in remission and both him and his wife died in a head on collision on the way home. So the logical the next question needs to be, "will I be in heaven with Jesus for eternity?" Mike and I both have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Savior and we know that when life is over here, we can look forward to eternity. Whether it is cancer, old age, a car accident... eternity awaits.
So what about today. I think I am struggling with the timing of everything. I get up at 2.5 hours before we need to leave to shower and prepare Mike's medicine. It takes him about an hour or longer to down it and spend time throwing up. I talked to Bill tonight. He has been in Havana, Cuba over the weekend to help his wife and daughter after Hurricane Ike. He will be giving us something to help Mike tolerate the medicine better. Mike pulled a muscle this morning in his ribs. Anyway, I prepare the lunch and afternoon medicines and pack them in little pill bags. It is easier than carrying around a file box of medicine. We are able to get out the door and at the IV clinic on time. However, the IV therapy is taking longer and longer. Today it was almost 5 hours. Well, that made us late for the afternoon treatments and lunch. We use lunch to take the afternoon medicines. Today, Mike didn't want to take them during the IV therapy. He didn't want to puke in front of everyone. One of my biggest flaws is that I get extremely stressed when we are late and things aren't running according to schedule. It is funny. Even amidst this time when we feel God is with us so strongly, I still am falling short. But I am reminded that the only perfect one to walk this earth was Jesus. So I confessed that I tried a little hard today to take back the control over this disease from God, and it is too big for me alone. So I guess I rejoice in my lesson today.
By the way, I didn't understand some of the military lingo either. But I love that Mike is a warrior to the core. It is who he is and how he thinks. So I will treasure that blog from yesterday. We also love everything. We have gotten mail at the hotel from the Mayhues, Stecklers, the Holly Tree Chapel in East Texas and Giact. We love hearing from people that we have lost touch with. I understand from my neighbor that cards are flowing in at home. We are so encouraged by everyone. I know that God is specifically putting things on peoples hearts that we need to hear. It is just so timely.

Please continue to pray for Mike and that he will swallow more each day. Please pray that his tumor will shrink allowing him to take more fluids and food. Pray that Elizabeth will grow into a deeper knowledge of God and his power. Pray that I will walk by faith and allow God to continue to refine me.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Operational Art of warfare with cancer

Deanna has graciously allowed me to post again. I thought I would post a few thoughts on our decision to go woth integrative medicine.

When we listened to the bad news, there was no discusion as to the cause of the cancer, no education on its development, but rather just the bad news and a statement that we could extend life a few miserable months with poison and radiation. It was sort of like listening to someone respond to an OIF/OEF like problem with the old stand by, "Nuke 'em till they glow."

But by God's grace, later that evening, we got to listen to Bill speak about cancer. In terms of its roots, it causes, multiple systemic effects. Which led to Bill telling us about his cancer fighting strategy. I began to hear about multiple interlinked sytems, second and third order effects, critical capabilities, critical resources, and critical vulnerabilities. In short, this cancer fighter was using the language of targeting strategy, and it resonated with me deeply. It was like reading Warden and Strange on air strategy. When Bill went on to speak about strengthening the healthy body systems instead of destrotying them with chemotherapy and radiation, while simultaneously attacking the cancer with supplements that in some cases have a thousand-year proven track record--this language resonated with me as well. It's the language of a Special Operations strategist, using un-conventional methods to perform Foreign Internal Defense and Counter-Insurgency operations.

It's a beautiful, well developed campaign plan. Inspired by God I think. At the end of this, I just hope we can figure out how to get every service member who has cancer access to this care. I've been blessed to receive it by a series of consecutive miracles...but how many others are out there who, like I almost did, would just dutifully follow through to the prescribed end-state?

Enough deep thoughts. Today Deanna set up my stuff and then she and Elizabeth got to go to the Mote aquarium, which they tell me was delightfull. They had baby sea turtles, among other things. I managed to get through my rounds of medications and evn balance the checkbook.

I've been overly tired the last few days though, and probably not eating enough. The meds often make me sick, and by the time it starts to wear off, it's usually time to start the next round.

I've been very touched by the outpouring of support from the B-1 community the last few days. To be remembered by so many is humbling. Be safe out there!

Please keep the prayers coming in. Specifically, that I could rest better at night-have some aches and pains that are waking me up. And that I would be able to eat a little more. And that I would have Operational Patience. This is indeed a long COIN/FID campaign, not a short strategic bombing campaign, and it's already trying my patience.

I pray that Jeshua would bless each of you as only he can.

Love in Christ,

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Rest for the Weary

Today is Saturday and we have so many praises. I want to praise that Scott came through surgery just fine and he is home resting after losing the battle with his gallbladder. I want to praise God for the nap both Mike and I got today. Rest is so good sometimes. I also managed to get my hair cut this morning. As usual, God used that to confirm we are on the right path.

Mike was very tired today. He slept until 9:00 and I set up his medicine for him before I left. I line little cups up in the bathroom. I think we had 9 three oz cups this morning. When I got home around noon, Mike was laying on the couch. He hadn't finished all his medicine and he was just worn out. I started to try and get him to start on his lunch time round and soon came to realize that rest was more important. Elizabeth and I went into the bedroom and shut all the lights out for him and let him sleep for 3 hours. During that time, I napped a little as well. Elizabeth has spent the day in "Star Wars" heaven. I think she is in the middle of watching all 6 of the movies today. Today is probably one of those days where our parenting skills might be questioned. She spent the whole day in her PJ's and watched movies and played on the PSP. But, we as a family, needed it. We are blessed by God that she is such a great kid.

During my nap, I came to realize that I need to boost Mike up. I woke up and warmed up soup for him. I woke him up and fed him soup, hummus, and water. He ate a whole bowl of soup. The past day or so, he has been so full of the treatments that he hasn't eaten much. After he ate, he felt much better. We were then able to get the dinner medicine into him and he threw up much less. I have also started putting his medicine into juice (fresh juice squeezed from veggies - mostly greens and a small beet) and into organic chicken broth. It is a way to feed him more nutrition. So now we are both taking a break before the bedtime routine begins. We will miss a couple of things in the protocol today, but I think rest and food were very important today.

So I have been promising the protocol and medications/supplements that Mike is taking. I want to put a disclaimer that this is specific to Mike. Someone else with the same diagnosis might have a different protocol depending on the testing. He is taking 166 pills per day along with other supplements that are either in powder or liquid. All together 41 different things. I have everything in a graph format. I took it to Office Max and blew it up and then laminated it. I am using markers to cross off stuff once he has taken it to keep track.

Ecomer - shark oil
Noni - fruit that has many medicinal purposes. Research it. I have started taking it
Vitality C - vitamin C with sodium that allow for absorption
pH Balancer - allows the phlegm to become less acidic
BioElectrolytes - works with pH Balancer
K-Mg - replaces Mg lost with the pH Balancer
Potassium Orot - replaces things lost the pH Balancer
Bucco - replaces minerals lost with pH Balancer
Natura 101 - Chinese Herbs related to specific body systems
Natura 201 - same as above
Natura 601 - same as above
Bao Kung - same as above
V Statin - weed from Southwest that cuts off blood supply to tumor
Boswellia - can't remember
HLC - healthy digestive tract/ probitic of sort
LimuPlex - builds healthy immune system
Flemimmune - works with LimuPlex. It is actually colostrum.
CoQ10 - important but can't remember
Detox Kit - this is liquid to help detox body
Omega XL
Sante Complex - nutrition
Gluathene - nutrition
MezoTrace - nutrition
Green Tea - great antioxidant and this is super concentrated
L-Lysine - together with the green tea work to stop cancer in his connective tissue
Vibe - minerals
Vitality Boost - vitamins and minerals
Microstat - natural antibiotic
Protease - helps break down mucus

The rest of these relate to Chinese Medicine and specific reactions going on in Mike's Body:
Plea Ut, Pleo Ploy R, Pleo Leptu, Dybiosis Pro, Nitro -Thio, Marshmellow Root, Gasto-Calm, Spirulina, Ultra D and detoxinol.

There it is for now. I am sure the protocol will change as we walk in this journey. I want to encourage the blogs and emails. We are so lifted by them. We love hearing from everyone. We need someone to set up a B-1 reunion at some point. I hate the fact that I have lost track of everyone. May God Bless your weekend and may you hug your families extra tight. God is good.

"By His stripes, we are healed" Isaiah 53:5

Friday, September 12, 2008

A big step today

We continue to be comforted and excited to get all the emails and blogs from our friends. We love hearing from everyone. It is like looking at a scrapbook and brings up wonderful memories of time in South Dakota and Abilene.
We had a milestone today. Mike actually took everything on the protocol. Everything. Even though he spent so time throwing up, it was not as bad as yesterday. Melissa, thanks for the advise on taking the medicine in juice. It did help. Especially with the bitter ones. Mike also swallowed 11 pills today. They were small pills, but important ones. It is small step but an important one.
We also had our first IV therapy today with the beet derived Vitamin C and the DMSO. Until this point, we had been using a different Vitamin C. The beet is supposed to be better. Again, the Vitamin C is toxic to cancer and the DMSO tricks the cancer cells into absorbing it. The IV clinic is very interesting. Many people come in for Chelation treatments. However, the largest percentage of people that are seeking treatments/IV's there are medical professionals some with cancer. They are taking the Vitamin C treatments as well.
We are looking forward to the weekend. We don't have any treatments. We just need to get all the medication in him and get him to eat more. It should be easier without all the car trips. God continues to bless us here. So many simple gestures that keep us strong. Today, we were late for the IV therapy. As we got there, FEDEX pulled up with the Beet derived Vitamin C and DMSO. If we had been on time, Mike would have gotten the other therapy. Again, the people at the Bean Stalk have gone out of there way for us. They gave me some broth to help Mike with his medication. They also stocked us up on food for the weekend, since they are closed. All these simple and small gestures we believe come from God's hand.
Please continue to pray that Mike will swallow more and more pills. Pray that we will rest this weekend and build strength. I plan to take Elizabeth to the Aquarium this weekend and hopefully to the beach to shark teeth hunt.
I am tired and I know this is short. We love you!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11 - Didn't even know....

As good as yesterday was, today was the opposite. It was one of those rough days for Mike. I am constantly amazed at his strength to endure. We got up at 5:15 am to start the medicine routine. However, today the vomiting lasted until 10:30 am. He is throwing up phlegm which is good. Let me tell you what I have learned about cancer. First of all, we all have cancer cells in our body. However, our immune system is constantly keeping them in line. But once that immune system is broken down the cancer starts to increase. Did you know that a cancer cell will coat itself in exacting 15 layers of phlegm? It is a very acidic environment as well. The outer coating is a way to disguise it from the immune system and a way of protection. That is why cancer is so hard to beat. Getting rid and changing that acidic environment are two of the ways we are attacking Mike's cancer. We have some chemicals -Ce & Rb - that will lower the acidic value of the phlegm allowing the immune system to go on the attack. We are also giving Mike Nutrizyme that cuts of the phlegm production. So it is all good, just a little hard to stand by and watch. I wish I could take some of this one for him.
Anyway, I just realized today is September 11. I drove around all day and wondered, "Why are flags at half-mast?" I want to first apologize to anyone and everyone. I want to take this moment to focus outward instead of inward. I want to thank all our friends and every person in the military for standing up for me and my family. Doing what you do and leaving your family behind time and time again. May God Bless you. 9/11 really changed everything. But in the end, I know that there is a God who is never surprised and will never leave us or forsake us. I pray a special blessing on everyone that lost a friend or love one on 9/11, soldiers wounded or killed serving this great country,and to everyone still serving.
Please continue to pray for us as well. Please pray specifically that Mike will be able to swallow pills/capsules. It would make everything so much easier. I have to break the pills apart and some are just down right nasty. Pray for me that we will get rest and that I can stay organized and not let all the medicine overwhelm me. (Wait until you see everything that he is taking.. this weekend I will post it!). Pray for Elizabeth that her faith will continue to become deeper and deeper with each passing day. We love you and love the emails and blogs! Thank you for continuing to pray for us.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

One Week. One God.

One week... Is has been one week since they diagnosed Mike with Stage 4 cancer. One week, since everything turned upside down in my life. Here is the thing. I love Mike very much. I really love him. God gave me a great man. But I also like him too. I like to spend time with him. He makes me laugh. He challenges me to think and he constantly surprises me with the depth of his knowledge and wisdom. He is the calm when I am the storm. I love him and I am not quite done with him yet! Here is the most valuable thing I have learned this week....I can not do it alone. I am not in charge. Relying on me creates panic, tears, stress, and utter hopelessness. "I" sucks... (there is just no better word to describe it).

However, it has also been one week since we got that email from Melissa and made the step to call Bill. God has moved many mountains. He has sent us all of you. I can not even begin to express our love for each and everyone of you. Your encouragement, support, emails, prayers, everything. God has covered us and swaddled us through you. We are receiving blogs/emails from friends all over the world. Sherry reminded us tonight that she prays for us in London in the morning. That is 5 hours before we wake up. She is already lifting our day to the Lord before our day has begun. We have people who know people who are praying for us. The intent of this blog was to let people know what is going on. However, it is now our nightly comfort. After running around, doing treatments, throwing up... Mike and I sit in bed and I read him all the comments and emails. They are like spring rain, or a lullaby before we sleep. You strengthen us. God allows you to comfort us. May God bless you for that. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

So what are the changes in Mike's health is one week. One week ago, Mike slept all day. He drank maybe 6 -10 ozs of water. (true). He couldn't eat anything. He was so tired that he couldn't even get ready without taking a break. He was pasty white. He couldn't sleep on his back and tossed and turned all night due to the pain in his stomach. He really wasn't even standing up straight.

Today, Mike has drank 2 liters of water. He can swallow 3 tiny pills. He eats soup and hummus. He is tired, but has more energy. He has color in his face. I caught him briefly sleeping on his stomach. He walks straighter.

Now, this is a hard road and there will be good days and bad days. But there is no way Mike could have endured radiation/chemo in the shape he was in. This isn't a program where in two weeks, he will return to work. Though, for everyone who knows Mike well, he is already thinking of working certain shifts. (I will deal with that when the time comes!). I think the best thing that can be said is that Mike is doing better and he is stronger. God is so good.

I want to make sure and write down the everyday miracles that God continues to give us everyday. First of all, Mike and Bill at the Bean Stalk. It is the organic restaurant that grinds soup for Mike and Elizabeth and I get dinner to go every night so far. They gave us hummus last night for Mike. I wasn't going to take it for fear Mike couldn't eat it. But it really refreshed Mike to eat some other flavor. They are watching out for me. They give me herbal tea and tell me I need it and to sit down. Bill is a retired Navy Seal. He stood at the door tonight we I left and caught Mike's attention. He saluted him. God can bring me to my knees so quickly and with the smallest gestures.

Hurricane Ike made his presence known here. Both last night and this morning. It poured down rain. I was stressed and "the storm" that I mentioned earlier. I was trying to get everything loaded to include laundry to take to a Laundromat. AND I was tired. I got everything down to the lobby and walked out and the rain had stopped. As I was walking to get the car, God said, "How could you not know?" As in how could I not know He would take care of it.

He also allowed me a nap. Not a long one, but a needed one. One of God's little mercies that I found today was a Laundromat that has drop off and pick up service right down the street from the ANWC. I have never done that, but needed to today. I took full advantage and paid the extra money so I could go to the hotel and nap for an hour while Mike was doing his IV therapy.

We are headed to bed early tonight. Mike and I get up about 2 - 2.5 hours ahead of his first treatments to get all the supplements (and so he has time to throw up). May God Bless you! I promise to blog Mike's medical/supplement routine this weekend!

To God be the Glory!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

For His Glory Alone

I am feeling a little better today, so Deanna has decided to let me do a post on the blog. There are so many things to say, but perhaps I should open with a prayer. The needle is in the left hand today, so typing is a little easier!

Abba Yahweh, we know that you created all things on the earth, over it, and underneath it, and we know that you still ultimately control everything even though we live in a fallen world. We confess that we are sinners and that we still fail you daily, despite your great love for us. We thank you for everything that you provide us, most especially for your son Jeshua. We ask that you would be gracious and bless us in every way and help us to walk closer to you.

Tomorrow is the 1 week anniversary of being told that there was no hope for us, no life, and that all that remained was essentially to organize my death. They asked if we wanted to fight, to which we answered yes, but that only meant delaying death by a few months miserable with sickness and chemo therapy. My faith in Christ made me content with this, because I knew that eventually he would raise me from the dead in a perfect body, along with my family. What I was not okay with, was leaving behind a young widow and orphan girl. This is a character flaw in me--I should also have enough faith to be able to commit my wife and daughter to Christ's care, no matter when this body dies. I spent the afternoon struggling with that--I imagine Abraham must have felt similar emotions about Isaak.

The emotions are like being kidnapped, hooded, and chained into roller coaster that seemed to never end, slammed from extreme to the other. But the Lord is good. He is our fortress in this storm where we find calm and peace.

Late in the afternoon I made my peace with it. I was ready to go if that was the Lord's will. So I would like to tell you that I made some inspired fight, but it's simply not true. I was done, ruminating about the chemo/radiation option when the miracle phone calls began to come in. The Lord is a warrior, and the battle belongs to Him. He had me to completely rest in Him. He has carried me like a sick child ever since. All the glory must go to him. I've done nothing but rest and be carried along by it. And then He, for His own glory, began to fight on my behalf. That is what this storm is all about...God working miracle after miracle to bring us to where we are today, a week later. From a death sentence, to a fighting chance.

From Melissa telling us her story, from Bill calling us later that evening and explaining cancer and integrative medicine, from the Holy Spirit telling both of us the next day after a sleepless night of prayer to Go, from the kindness of so many people at work, at Eglin, at the church, at the school, in the neighborhood--from Pastor Herman's skill at healing prayers...a thousand consecutive miracles happened. To bring us here, to this fight, so we can watch Jesus WIN. There were other miracles too, even further back. The Timothy leadership classes at CCC in Tucson changed my thinking so much that I could understand what's happening--you men have no idea how much I lean on God's teaching that you helped reveal to me in those classes. And the men at FBC Abilene before them. Deanna's family, friends from around the world. There are so many, I'll never be able to keep track. And certainly there is Uncle Bill, who no matter what the outcome will always have a place here for sharing hope where there was none. Each one of you and the things you did to help are miracles to us from God.

I am a small, selfish, prideful, ugly man in character. And yet to glorify Jesus he has chosen to send us through this storm. Maybe so that everyone will know His power. I will let you in on a secret. In a dream, God showed me a man I know, rising up from baptismal waters, smiling because he knows freedom and joy in Jesus. I don't know when or how this will happen, but I know now that it will happen. If this storm is God's will to happen in order to bring more people to a saving faith, then I say bring it on, no matter what the outcome. A small bargain to pay, a privilege that Jesus would use us in this way.

Deanna and Elizabeth are going to keep you informed about the integrated medicine treatment plan. A friend told Deanna that this is just helping the body to catch up to the healing that Jesus already did the first time Pastor Herman prayed for me. Deanna is the fierce and brave one. She herds a thousand cats a day to make sure we stay on track. My other rock in the storm. And Elizabeth is my shining star, a single look at her is all it takes to Giddy-Up for the next round of whatever.

Need to go now, will try to post some more later. Thank you all for everything and please continue to pray to Jesus for a decisive WIN!

Love in Christ,

You ask for it? You Got it! Elizabeth's 2nd Post


First thing first I want to thank EVERYONE for your prayers, the evil grapefruit is (literally right now ) having tantrums. What I am telling you I never actually saw. I was doing my schoolwork.
Dad had light beam generator or in my words light up hockey pucks . (I am not doing this for humer ,they really do look like this) They look like hockey pucks with a light on one side and a bungie cord attached. Dad felt pain in his gut, but that is OK because that means it is shrinking the tumer.Almost like the movie" Honey , I Shrunk the Kids."
Dad also got ummmm............I forgot what it is called. Lets just call it the magic wand. Honestly, I do not know much about it . All I know is it open up your Limphatic System (short: LS).That is the system that drains toxic stuff out of your body.
Then he went to have a detox foot bath. You see ,the toxins that drain down the LS either end up in your Kidneys or (this may shock you) your feet. They put a thingy in a tub of water that makes a tiny bitof electricity that suck bad stuff out.
Well TTFN ta ta for now