A precious moment

Over the past 36 hours, I have experienced every kind of emotion from absolutely livid to joy beyond what words can describe. I will do my best to explain what has been going on, but have to leave out things so I don't get myself in trouble.

Things kind of came to a head yesterday. Mike's pain was out of control. His bed had been broken for 24 hours and then the doctor came by when I stepped out and left with no concern about Mike being in pain. I hadn't slept in 24 hours and I had had it. I called in the troops and we went about trying to find another hospital to transfer Mike too. Mike didn't deserve this. So my troops rallied and what has been going on has been made known. Unfortunately all hospitals are full and there are no beds. We ended up having one of those meetings and everything is out in the open. We have a new doctor who hopefully understands managing pain and not just shooting in the dark. Things have been better today and so far, Mike's pain has been somewhat under control. Better, but not perfect yet.

So while this is all going on, Mike starts talking. His tongue is still swollen but you can just make out what he is saying. At the first of the day it was "hurts". Then "Mama help me". Then it progressed to "Deanna hold my hand" "Move my left knee it hurts" "Rub my arm hurts". That is just hard to bear and also what led to the very shortened story above. But then, as I was crying and telling him if the pain is too much that Elizabeth and I would be ok, he told me "Oh mama, it will be fine". Then he started saying our code word. Then, at one incredibly glorious moment, I told him that this was the best valentines present ever (meaning him communicating after so long). Our heads were very close and he said "Ahh..." reached up and rubbed my head and pucker his lips. I bent down and kissed him.

That was a life moment. Priceless. Worth everything. I am amazed at Mike's will to fight and will to live. The cancer is raging, but go God. The charge nurse who was on the night Mike came out of the ICU and back to the floor to pass away was here last night. She said hello to Mike and Mike turned to her and said hello. She said, "Mr. Phillips, you amaze me!" We talked about that night and how death hung near then. Yet here we still are and I will continue to fight for Mike as long as he fights. All the while, I have taken my direction from God and from Mike. The cool thing was that Mike confirmed yesterday things I have been telling people/doctors all along. You get asked that question a lot when people think you are acting out of the "distraught wife" mode. What would Mike want? or What would Mike say? He would say exactly what he has said, " The battle belongs to the Lord" and " don't worry Mama, God will take care of it. It will be fine".

So here we are still in a ferocious battle. The cancer is spreading everywhere, and yet Mike is still living. His vitals are good, his blood work is good, no signs of anything shutting down. The pneumonia is better and lungs sound clear. I know what the battle is. I know what cancer does. But I refuse to take Jesus out of the equation. I refuse to loose all HOPE. Because the Lord I serve has all authority and all power. I see the writing on the wall, but I hear the Voice of Truth in my heart and head.

Prayer:
Mike and pain relief
God to continue to show his hand and His might for His Glory here
Sleep.... Sleep... sleep
Elizabeth appears to be working on a cold... Healing for her and protection for all of us

Praise:
One more day
precious moments