Cancer spreading - now in Mike's Brain

Some interesting things have happened over the last 24 hours. Mike has been have combative phases and yesterday I noticed that he was no longer moving his left arm. He is now only moving his right arm. I decided to risk the pain and go ahead and do a CT Scan. I wanted a whole body scan to assess the situation, but didn't get that. I did get the head CT and Mike's has two lesions that they can see. They are fairly confident that there are more that would show up if we did a study with contrast. We did it early this morning and waited all day for the doctor to tell us. In my gut I knew. I googled things last night and realized over the last few weeks, Mike has had every symptom. But hearing it spoken out loud is still hard to swallow.

I had a lot of questions for the doctor, which were all vague answers. It is so frustrating when all you want is the facts and they give you "I don't knows" or "well we know he has cancer". YES... I know.. But they don't understand the fight we have walked. The thing is his lab work is great. His heart is strong. His organs are functioning. Yet, we have cancer just on a all out assalt in Mike's body. Decisions are hard. Mike has brief moments of Mike like touches and recognition to voices. So tomorrow, with help for some people, I am looking in to other options, with possible transfer to another place. But that will take some time, some paperwork, and some research AND insurance approval on both sides!

I did tell Elizabeth tonight that they found cancer in Daddy's brain. I told her it explains why Daddy doesn't' talk and his behaviors. I can handle this. Mike can handle this. Elizabeth is so fragile. The roller coaster is almost more than she can bear. I pray for her so much.

I am just tired. Last night was not a restful night for Mike and therefore not for me. I tried to sleep in the morning and then they came for the CT Scan. I had to help the guy push Mike's extremely heavy sand bed with IV pole down to do the scan. The funny thing is the guy who did the scan left Mike out in the hall to wait on the tech to push him back upstairs. He looked at me and said he should be just a few minutes and then he turned to leave. I looked at him and said, "This bed is extremely heavy and we had a hard time pushing it down." He thought the tech could handle it. I said, "I am sure people would not be happy if they knew I was pushing this heavy bed with my husband in it back to the room." He then happily? helped the tech push the bed back upstairs. When I say this bed is heavy, it is heavy!! It is a special sand air mattress that they brought in to help Mike with the bed sores. The bottom half of the bed is fine sand and air pumps through to prevent pressure points.

I am sad to post this news. But God is not done. I will not take HOPE out of this, even to the last breath and beyond. I have really learned over this journey that God ordains every breath. Christ has conquered the grave leaving nothing to fear. We serve a God that is greater than cancer. He is here and we are holding on tightly, no matter what.

Prayer:
Mike complete earthly healing
Pain to ease along with combativness
Medical decisions
Medical direction with complete insurance support if we move Mike
Sleep for me..
Elizabeth

Praise:
So many people that are helping is big and small ways.
The layers of help that help me spend so much time by Mike's side. So many people are helping by helping those that help me. People are throwing out schedules and reworking. Husbands and kids are missing a parent, because they are with me at hospital. I am so grateful. So blessed. So loved.