I know I have been whining/complaining a lot about this and eventually I will have to let it go. It is just so difficult. Mike has been quiet the past day or two, and it finally came out that he was just dreading chemo today. Then you come to the hospital to find that there is no room in the inn so you are placed in the back. The place we are in is cold (because of equipment) and the bed is uncomfortable. Mike has almost no body fat so he gets cold easily. I am so grateful that we had almost a year of in office chemo. So thank you Jesus for the unknown blessing and your care for us.
Today, while I was waiting to get the medical bills/numbers/costs, I was in line with about 5 other patients waiting to check out. Bill made a comment to me about having to go over to the hospital too. I said yes we are having insurance issues. The conversation then flowed around to everyone chiming in on their medical/financial issues. Bill is near his insurance cap which means once his medical bills go over say 2 million dollars, the insurance won't pay anymore. He stated he won't used his savings and will probably stop treatment so that his wife will have money. He wished he had bought a supplemental insurance policy and this wouldn't be the case (Lesson for all those reading - check out supplements- even on medicare).
This other gentleman has colon cancer and he chimed in that he was glad that he had a supplemental. He ran into complications during the surgery and stayed in the hospital 10 days and the bill was over $550.000. If he didn't have the supplemental, he would have had to pay 20% and that would have wiped him out totally. (Lesson reinforced). However, he is now running into a problem with the supplemental, the monthly price keeps going up. It has doubled in price (from 100 to 200 per month) in the past year. He is stuck. He can't get rid of it because he won't get another one. He is on a fixed income.
Everyone then started talking about how no one has any idea. Everyone assumes that they will be healthy, that they could never get cancer, that if I eat right and exercise, I won't have to worry about it. OR they look at a policy and assume I will never reach $5 million in medical costs. My eyes have been opened wide over the past 16 months. How about a town meeting about insurance, medical, etc with cancer, arthritis, diabetes, and other medical patients? We are so careful to talk investments, life insurance, college funds, buying a house...ways to plan for the future. But no one talks about how to prepare for health/medical issues. I can't not tell you the number of people we have met that have lost everything and are in debt due to medical. And they are not who you think. They have jobs and they can't quit. They do chemo for 3 days and then work for 10 days in a row and then do chemo. Chemo is their weekend.
Where are we 16 months into this? Prior to this, we were both working and our income has been cut by about 50% not including the housing allowance on active duty. We had investments that were worth over $70,000 that are gone. We had a savings account with the "3-6 months worth of pay" that is now under $1000. We now have debt- not huge, but debt. My family has graciously payed over $78,000 for the homeopathic treatment we received here and in Florida. Scott has let us live in his house for almost nothing. We spend right now around $400-$450 on co pays (they add up) a month until that caps hopefully soon and another $100 on prescriptions and then there is the homeopathic that we pay for that honestly runs between $500-$1000 each month. It depends on if Mike runs out of Haelan. That cost $700 a case, but is so important for his nutrition. We stopped using it and that is when Mike's weight loss was out of control. Once we started it again, his weight stabilized.
AND here is the thing, we are so BLESSED. I mean blessed. We were able to get a house that we will be in for a very long time due to incredible VA Programs and the State of Texas. We have income from Mike's retirement. Could it be more? Sure, but it is income and we don't face the threat of being fired and losing it. It is also just enough for me to give everything I have to take care of Mike and Elizabeth. Because not only is Mike important, we as parents are walking this with Elizabeth. That has a whole other set of issues that we have to address sometimes over other pressing issues.
Today is one of those days just like last week, where God is reminding me to look beyond our situation. To see all the incredible gifts, blessings, joys, life, and care He is giving uniquely to me and my family. I am going to end with Psalm 95 verses 1-7 that sums everything up perfectly..
Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
3 For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.
4 In his hand are the depths of the ears, and the mountain peaks belong to him.
5 The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.
6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;
7 for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture the flock under his care.
Prayer needs:
Mike - to gain weight, to beat back the depression of continuous medical appointments and procedures, to gain energy and strength and for the cancer to bow down in submission to Jesus's healing power.
Deanna - for wisdom on all fronts and guidance for Mike's medical care and needs
Elizabeth - her end of semester exams
For all of us to listen to God and really walk with Him and in His plan
Praise-
Family, friends
medical care - in all the whining, I want to thank God that we have something to whine about.
That others can benefit and learn from our journey
So it is now the end of the day and the post above sounds so good but I am sitting here in such a different mood. Mike is still at the hospital and in the end I am just mad. We got to the hospital at 9:30 and we waited back in that room until 4:00 pm for the chemo to start. It appears that he will be done by 8:00 pm tonight. Mike deserves better than this. He just does. To be shoved into a stall, cold and made to wait hours...It is not right. This is not the benefit we signed the dotted line for. So I had to leave Mike to go get Elizabeth from school. I am home getting her together and will leave shortly to go back and watch over Mike. And guess what was in the mail? Another attack to our day.. a medical bill for $1,000 that Tricare declined for Mike's port removal back in April due to a staph infection. The best information that I could get is that there wasn't a referral in place, but the guy wasn't sure. I needed to call back tomorrow when they are open to take calls in claims. Some days are just exhausting.. THIS day is exhausting!
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