Wednesday, February 25, 2009

How easily we forget

I am amazed at how easily you can forget what Chemo can do. It has been over 3 weeks since our last round of Chemo. Mike went in on Monday and did his 5th round of Chemo. He was fine Monday night and then it hit sometime in the middle of the night. Mike has spent the last two days in bed other than getting up to go to the Cancer Center to have his blood levels checked. He hasn't put a bit of food in his mouth since Monday and he, honestly, hasn't drank enough water either.

He is more alert today than yesterday. The blessing in this is that the weather has been fabulous. There is a door in our bedroom that leads outside to the pool area. So both yesterday and today, I have left the door open. Somehow I feel better knowing fresh air is at least circulating for him. It is hard and lonely on days like these. I do run out and do some errands - like grocery shop. But I try to never leave the house more than an hour or so.

I have spent the afternoon today getting taxes ready to file. I am glad this comes around once a year. I really only have this afternoon. Tomorrow, the pace picks up at our house. Mike has a dr's appoint at 8:00 am and then over to the hospital for an xray. They will be checking on the stent placement to make sure that it is still in the correct spot. We will be getting an xray once a month. I need to be at school at 10:00 am to few a "health" film that they want to show the 5th graders. Friday we have appointments too and it is a early release day for Elizabeth.

Cancer.. I am trying very hard to suppress that alarm button inside of me. Mike has been on the morphine patches since the stent. Today he said he needed it because his stomach hurts. I asked, "stent hurt of cancer hurt." He responded that it was his stomach and not the stent. So we switched his patches and I am praying that it is the cancer dying from the Chemo. I will tell you what, someone needs to do something to help solve this cancer mystery. I just wish there was something that could just switch off the cells ability to multiply and grow. I don't know if it is just that we are more aware of cancer now that it has hit our family or if the cancer rates are growing that fast but everyone seems to have a cancer or a very close person with it. There is a new patient at the Cancer Center in the Chemo room. She comes in with her mom. She can't be more that 25 years old. It just doesn't make sense.

I have to say, now that we are really done with all the military paperwork (that I am aware of anyway), it is nice that it has taken that stress away. Now, the stress will improve SIGNIFICANTLY, once I know what we are getting paid for retirement and once that pay starts happening. Honestly, it is a very scary prospect knowing that the 1st is in a few days and we won't be getting paid. I praise God for savings, that is for sure.

Finally, one last thought, our house in FL. I am sure that the stress of hanging on to that house will replace the paperwork stress. We have had people look at it, but no buyers. The feedback is silly too. It is stuff you can't do anything about, like our deck. Someone didn't like the house because of the deck! That is one of the reasons we bought the house. In the end, I have to remind myself that God really led us to that house. It was one of those things. We will never recoup what we put into it because of the renovations that we did right after we bought it. It would be very nice to walk away without a loss, but that may not be possible either. I just need to keep praying that it will sell and that God will have it all under control. Who knows? Maybe we are supposed to rent it out or something! I can't imagine that being added to our plate right now, but if it is God's will, then who am I to doubt He will provide the energy to handle that too!

Prayer needs:
Mike to eat and drink more
Mike to start feeling better
The Chemo to attack only the bad cancer cells
Our house in FL to sell
Financial wisdom and guidance
Focus and motivation for myself

Praises:
Great days
Good sleep for me for the past two nights
a Nap yesterday (and I still slept last night)
Ash Wednesday - the beginning of Easter season-- Oh, I can't wait to walk through Easter with everything we have learned the past few months. How much more powerful will it be to celebrate Christ's death and resurrection??? Can't wait!
Elizabeth.. What a blessing to us
Marvie for taking Mike to the Doctor's yesterday so I could get my eyes checked on
Mail!! Mail!! Mail!!... Thank you. The cards and notes are still powerful and still uplifting beyond words.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Deanna,
My specific prayer last night was for your house. That, of course, wasn't the first time I prayed for it but that was "top on the list"!! You're always in our thoughts and prayers for whatever the day brings you...VUCA or not! Love, Gini

Anonymous said...

Have Mike go on MyPay and see if the retirement LES shows up... Finance assures me Mike's retirement pay will go through 1 March.

Very glad to hear Elizabeth is doing better and continuing to pray for you all. Glad to hear you were able to get some good sleep; I'm sure it's long overdue. I'm keeping positive thoughts that brighter and easier days are ahead.
God Bless,
Cynthia