Jars of Clay - 2 Cor 4

It is Friday and it has been a few days. I am sorry that I have not posted in awhile. I tried to post on Wednesday and I just didn't know what to write.

Mike had the stent removed on Wednesday and the pain in his ribs is gone. It fact, Mike was due to replace the Morphine patch today and we decided to leave it on and let it run down. There may be some withdrawal systems, but he isn't in pain. The procedure went well. Again, the GI doctor is really pushing the "Wall- Stent". It is a flexible nickel stent that is silicone coated in the middle. The stent is a self expanding thing that will be constant outward pressure on the tumor to keep the esophagus open. It is metal on the ends and that allows the stent to grip into place on the top and bottom. The GI doctor pushes for it and the oncologists say that they experience complications and pain for patients. However, if the esophagus closes up again, we may have no choice. So, the only solution that I know that can work is to pray over that esophagus.

We did receive news about the tumor from the GI doctor. He says it appears to be growing in a downward motion in Mike's stomach. That threw me. Especially after the CT results of "stable". Dr. Khan is out of town until Monday so we will wait until our appointment to talk to him about what the other doctor said. It might be time to add something to Chemo or make changes. I have been reading about monoclonal antibodies and that they might work. Again, we are in prayer about what to do and asking God to lead us and the doctors.

Wednesday was one of those days where you were walking through the motions of the day and yet inside you are just a mess. The one thing that I knew I needed to do was go to church. I didn't want to, but I knew I needed to. Something (someone) was pushing me. Of course God had a plan all along. Curtis, the teacher, was not there. He is in MO with his Dad that is battling - you guessed it - cancer. So Paul took over. I went into the classroom and sat in the back row, just wanting to sit and hear what God was going to say to me. Traci came over and asked about Mike and for the first time, I had to verbally tell someone that the tumor might be growing. The tears flowed. That night, only about 10 people showed up. But it was the most amazing thing. As we were going around asking about prayer requests, everyone was battling with disease and needing God to overcome some significant circumstances.

Paul got up, put his lesson plan away and pulled out 2 Corinthians 4. It broke me. Not in a bad way, but in a "God really knows me and understands my struggles" way.

2 Corinthians 4: 7 - 9 states:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed: perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

I lost it. (Sorry for the ugly cry). It spoke to my soul like the first time I read Psalms 22. I am a jar of clay with a treasure inside. So is Mike. Our bodies are fragile and will not last. But the treasure is inside of me - my light that was given to me at the time that I accepted Jesus. That light lights the way to eternity. But while I am here- while Mike is here -we are battling. Battling sickness, cancer, sin, finances, etc. But the battles can not overcome us and will never take the victory that awaits us. Make no mistake, we both have the ultimate victory in Christ.

2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 ended the chapter with an incredible comfort:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Thought outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen in eternal.

We are not losing heart. In fact, how can we lose heart when God continually shows us that he is in every detail of our lives? Do you know what happened today? Everyone remembers that we were supposed to retire in December and then didn't retire until February. Well the VA payments started in January, while on Active Duty. We got notified that they are suspending the VA payments until they investigate and get everything right. As you know, losing that hurts right now. But do you know what happened? We got separation pay on April 1 from the AF. It makes no sense. Why did we get this almost 2 months after retirement? The most we can figure out is that there was some money due after all the mass confusion in January and February. We even called DFAS today and asked and they said, "yes" we were due it. How God is that?

So here we are... right where we want to be... In His hand and holding on tightly!!!

New Update 9:00 pm -

Mike has a fever and we are probably heading out to the hospital at some point. Please pray...