There are days that you know are coming and that you just put your head down and push through them. Today, is one of those days. For me, this is the hardest first yet. Why? Because Mike was an incredible Dad. His love for Elizabeth is so deep and strong. Elizabeth and I have been watching old tapes and he is such a great Father, teacher, protector, and man. I am going to be selfish here, because I know Mike is in Heaven with Jesus and is HOME, but it is just not fair. Every little girl needs her Dad and I wish he was here with us.
Elizabeth and I spent some time today at the Cemetery. Elizabeth wanted to buy a remote controlled airplane. We did and went to the cemetery and flew it with the Bell (our dog). We brought our folding chairs and just made ourselves at home. Elizabeth had a blast, and I enjoyed watching her. Tears flowed, just because I know that it was a perfect tribute to the man we love and miss so much. I wish I could say that the hurt doesn't hurt as much, but it still does.
I called to check in on Melissa today and happened to wrangle myself into dinner with friends tonight. It was great and I love talking to Melissa when we can, because we talk about good memories of Mike.
Tomorrow is our anniversary... another day to just put your head down and push through. I thank God every day for our marriage and only wish we could have celebrated many more years than we did.
I quick note to my Dad... Happy Father's Day. You have been an incredible support to Elizabeth and I. We love you very much.
Finally, I have a confession to make... I still haven't gotten around to Thank you notes and I think I know why. It is like putting a period on the end of the sentence. It is the final thing I need to do and I don't know what comes next. Please, please forgive. I will get to them because I have so much I need to say to each of you, but I am still working through the mental block of completing the task.
Happy, Happy Father's Day. Hug your kids and know God has given you a special gift to be a Dad.
4 comments:
I'm sorry for two days straight of heart-wrenching "firsts". I can't change it, I can't fix it, I love you and I feel so helpless. But...I'd rather feel helpless than clueless. Thank you for talking about these days. Thank you for being honest about your heart and the things you love and the things that hurt. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being such a good mom to Elizabeth and letting her rejoice and grieve at her own pace and in her own way.
He really was a great dad. I know people who had 65 years with a dad who was never a fraction of the dad Mike was every day for 12 years.
Love you both...
-Lisa
Thinking especially of you two on these days! Love, Gini
Big hugs from D & D!
We're thinking of you, Deanna & pray for you & Elizabeth every day. Thanks for sharing, your honesty is so...I don't know, pure? I can't describe it, but it is a blessing. It helps us know how to pray. Love, Lynnette
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