You can tell it is the end of the school year. Things are getting busier and busier here. I have been meeting with a financial planner and now we are adding in a lawyer to get everything together. I feel way more weight to make sure all i's are dotted so that if something happens to me, everything will be in a nice package and as simple as possible for Elizabeth. As far as the estate (for lack of a better word) goes, I feel like I have everything in a box. I still need to wrap it and put a bow on it, but everything is at least in one area. I have been dwelling a lot on everything and putting some things off. What is it going to be like when everything is done? Really, we have been juggling things for almost 2 years now and part of me doesn't want things to end because that means I really have to face, "Now what?". I am dealing with that in a way, but the paperwork, thank you's, house details, lawyers, etc.... distract from the ultimate, "now what?".

Yet, I know the NOW WHAT is already answered in God's time. That whole faith concept. God has been so faithful this whole journey (yes even though Mike is in Heaven) and I know he hasn't said, "OK, now you are on your own". He doesn't' work that way. Even though Mike, Elizabeth and I walked Mike's cancer journey together, He has a plan for each of us. Mike's was to fight, witness, and go home to Jesus. Mine? I think we are still in the middle of the book. Same with Elizabeth. Days are still up and down.. Nights the same. It is funny some of the things you do or things that stress you out. I noticed today that I killed this beautiful orchid that we got for Mike's service. It is amazing to me the need I have to keep these plants alive. I don't know if I like it or not. Probably should talk about that at my next therapy session :).

I am amazed at how God is still using Mike here on this earth. Today, I had the joy of giving $15,000 worth of Neupogen to a doctor going to Africa on a Medical Mission Trip. He was talking about how he hopes to let me know who gets the shot and how it impacts them. I told him that I have no doubt that God has a plan. I have tried to give the shots away multiple times and every door has been closed. This is the most complicated door and it is open. They have to pack it special with a thermometer and ice at all stops to ensure that it stays the right temperature. You can not even imagine the time, thought, and process it is taking to get these 15 shots over there. I KNOW God has a special plan for those two boxes. AND I don't need to know the whole story. God knows it and I am overjoyed at that.

That is all I need. So if I don't need to know the whole story for these boxes, then I guess I have to say the same for my "now what?". I know God has a special plan for me, I need to take a deep breath, be at peace and watch it unfold (prayerfully!).

Prayer needs:
Please continue to pray for Elizabeth and I. We have good days and tearful days. It is really hard sometimes.
Social Security Administration - that our appeal will go through
HAP - that our appeal will go through
Health - this virus that I picked up in Abilene is hanging on!

Praise:
Talking to Marie
Things are manageable
Softball season
One more day!