I will be with you

It is early in the morning and the dog woke me up and I can't sleep. It has been awhile since we posted and thought I would update everyone. I honestly don't know if people are still checking in with us, but from the beginning this blog has been a therapy session for me. So I may just be typing this to myself, but God will use that!

"I will be with you." I keep hearing that phrase over and over. I know it is God whispering to me and yet at the same time I am wondering, "Why do I keep hearing that phrase?" What is around the bend? Or is it that He knows the fear that creeps in and out all the time and He is trying to reassure me. I wish I knew. Then again, maybe I don't want to know.

This process that we are going through is exhausting and full of questions all the time. Are we doing the right things? Is there something we are not doing? Is there something we should be doing? Do you realize how greedy I am? Mike has changed so much. He is so much apart of life again. He helps do laundry, trash, makes phone calls, goes to events, is a great sounding board, and makes us laugh (or laughs at Elizabeth and I). We laugh. For so long, we didn't. And yet, I still want more. More. I want to know that I will grow old with him. I want to know that he will always be at my side to talk rationally. I want to know that he will be here to love on Elizabeth in that special way he has. Maybe that is what God is telling me, "I will be with you". Maybe that is what I need to examine.

We have a doctor appointment in the morning with Dr. Khan. Then we need to call the GI doctor and see if we can go in for the stretch again on Monday. Mike has had some issues yesterday. He seems to get those issues after he seems to really gain momentum eating. I am honestly frightened for the first time to do the procedure after the last time. (Do not fear for I am with you..right?)

I have also been going through the house and pulling things for the garage sale on Friday. I still can't believe I am doing it! We have extra furniture and just things we don't need. I have felt the need to pare down to simplify things. If we are able to close on our house next week, we will start the process of trying to get a home of our own here. This time, we have to move ourselves. The AF is not there to move us for the first time in our married life! As I look forward, I wait and wonder how God will move mountains.

Prayer needs:
Our house to close on June 25ht
Our cash out of our investments to be complete in time for the closing. It is taking much longer than I thought and of course the stock market is going down every day.
To take one day at a time
Beach vacation- it is 3 weeks away and I don't know how we are going to go. It seems so overwhelming to get all the medical needs taken care of to go and yet I really want to go. ALL of us.
Financial Wisdom
That we will qualify for the HAP program under the wounded warrior clause that they are still writing.
Doctors and all the things that will be happening next few weeks. GI issues, VA appointments in Dallas, Oncology (do we just suspend Chemo until after the vacation? Will that be a mistake that could make the difference between life and death?)
Garage Sale - I just need everything to sell so I don't have to struggle with what I do with the leftovers
Tessa, Connor, Titus - precious children, created by Him, who are battling
sleep/rest

Praise:
Hearing God's voice
The birth of Destiny to Pierre and Keisha
Cards that still come from very dear friends
Contract on the house
Good days as a family
Strength for today

Joy's post that reminds me:
Be still and wait. You shall know that the Lord your God, He it is who fights for you, and He will do a miracle before your eyes if you will but trust Him completely and cease to be anxious. What others are doing is as nothing compared to what He is doing and is GOING to do