We went to church for the first time in 8 weeks today. It just brought me to tears. I cried because I was so happy. I cried because I am so broken. I cried because Jesus saved me. I cried because Jesus had a song just for me. I am just a puddle. It is so incredibly hard to process everything right now. I am caught between what was and what will be. I can not believe that I am in McKinney permanently. I need to pinch myself sometimes. How can doors be shut so fast? How can doors be opened so fast?
I know Mike is struggling with the same thing. I see it in his eyes. I think this week is going to be extremely hard on his heart. When the retirement orders are done, he is going to struggle. I think 80% of his fight in Sarasota was motivated by going back to Hurlburt and the mission. I want to ask everyone to pray that God will give Mike a vision of his purpose/work now that the Air Force door is closing.
I had to pause for a moment because Dr. Bo just stopped by to adjust Mike. Dr. Bo is a chiropractor here in McKinney. My family has used him for 10 years. In fact, when Elizabeth was 2 she had big issues with her ears. She almost had tubes, but I brought her across for a few weeks and Dr. Bo adjusted her. Her ear infections stopped and she never got tubes. Anyway, Dr. Bo is coming over at least 3 times a week to adjust Mike. Mike likes it. I asked him tonight how he felt and he said better. The popping noise still gets me, but I can get use to it. I really believe it is a significant part of his healing and the road back.
Do you know what? The most amazing gift in this journey is the amount of people that are vested in Mike and our family. Sometimes when I feel so alone, I need to remember that it is Satan - just like when fear creeps in. God has surrounded us with so many people. I even got an email and phone call from Dr. Monhollon in FL. People are making house calls, phone calls, helping in so many ways. We even received a gift of a Vitamix. I love that machine! How can we possibly doubt God's plan when he is constantly surrounding us with His angels here on earth.
We went to Four Corners (?) church here in McKinney today. We got to meet people who have been praying for us for the past weeks. When they met us, you could see the joy in their eyes. They looked at Mike so strongly - eye to eye. I teared up yet again. AND I also met a friend from my past - from 8th grade! No kidding. I haven't seen here since I was 12 and I recognized her right away. I wonder what God is going to do with that???
I want to make sure you know it is not just people here in McKinney. I got a call today (yes Sunday) from Mrs. Suhi at TMO just checking on everything for the move tomorrow. I am just so angry at myself right now. I have been depressed this afternoon and I as write this I just want to smack me around a little bit. I need to blog every night so I can think over the day and look at the blessing God has placed before me. I want to thank Jeff and Sherry and Jon and Shelly. Your gift was timed perfectly and much needed right now. It is helping with putting the house on the market.
I need to take a moment and tell you a little bit about Mike and his condition right now. Here are the praises. His gas pain has reduced significantly. He sits up now. In Florida, he would ride in the car with his arm on the dash board and leaning over. He actually sits up now for long periods of time. The Mike that I know and love is here. He is alert mentally and we have discussions. He signed all the military paperwork. He is holding Elizabeth's hand right now on the couch as they are watching Mythbusters. I am blessed beyond measure.
This is a big week for us. The movers arrive tomorrow morning and Roxanne, Missy, and Kathie will supervise the pack up. Jeff and Wendy will fly in on Thursday and supervise the loading of the truck and drive the car and turtles back to McKinney.
Specific prayer needs:
God will be in control of the move
God will watch over Jeff and Wendy
God will oversee every last detail of the Retirement Paperwork. I am nervous because I don't want to forget anything and I don't want to lose the paperwork in all the unpacking mess.
Mike will eat more and eat more of the food God needs him to to heal his body. It is so hard right now. We really believe in the raw greens, but his body is rejecting those right now.
Mike will start to gain good weight and strength
Mike will take all 20 pills every day of his 201
God will protect his Liver.
Mike will have cancer fighting antibodies
I will be organized and less stressed. My face is breaking out again!
God will give keep fear from me
That Elizabeth will be a light at school
Praises:
For the first time in over 8 weeks, we didn't think about cancer for around 45 minutes in church today. That was one of the best gifts I have ever gotten.
3 comments:
A day doesn't go by when you aren't on my mind and in my heart, and therefore, get lifted to heaven. I know you get prayed for many times a week by the Pensacola Healing Room...I keep checking to make sure the prayer request for you is still on the bulletin board there, and it is. I am frustrated that I can't help you with my hands, but I know that my prayers are heard and answered by One whose hands are far more powerful than mine, and I have to let that be enough when I find myself fretting and longing to be with you.
God is good. Blessed be His name.
Love to you all...
-Lisa
Dear Phillips Family,
You don't know me, but I am the Sister-in-law to Carrie Simmons. She is married to my brother, Kevin. They have shared your story with me, and just know that we are all holding your family in our thoughts and prayers.
I wanted to share a story with you about our experiences in our family, and Carrie can fill you in on most of it. I have a daughter who is now six years old, that was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder (Tuberous Sclerosis) at 11months old. I thought it was the end of the world. She was having horrible seizures all throughout the day, and there was not a thing I could do about it. About two months after she was diagnosed, our 4 year old son (now 10) was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus (the right side of his brain is fluid). I thought to myself, "Why is God punishing me? What have I done to anger him?" I was so furious and angry now having two children with health conditions, and only finding out within two months of each diagnosis. I was also fearful that I was going to find out that our oldest son (now 12) was going to have some problem, too. Between all of the appointments they had from seeing Neurologist, Neurosurgeon, Cardiologist, Pediatrician, MRIs, X-Rays, Echocardiograms, Renal Ultrasounds, etc., I was seriously ready for a nervous breakdown.
Our son finally had brain surgery which they found an arachnoid cyst in his third ventricle and removed it, but they did not shunt him. He continues to have fluid on the brain today, and to this day, he is a healthy 10 yr. old with a straight A honor roll (Principal’s List), and thriving. Our daughter has been seizure free for three years now, even though she still has tubers on the brain, and the one on her heart had "disappeared" in her last Echo.
Why am I telling you this? Because it is by God's hand and the numerous prayers from all over that our children are doing so well. And, you CAN do all things through Christ which strengthens you!!! I also know from experience that he will not give you any more than you can handle.
When I was going through all of this and I was so angry and doubting my faith, a friend of mine reminded me that God knows no illness, and it was through him that we found these nasty disorders, and were able to get the divine interventions they needed to help them. There is a purpose in life for all things, and we may not understand them now, nor will we agree with them, but one day, we will look back and say, "Now I understand!"
I too went through the Social Security filing online. It is a very simple process, and the good thing is you can complete it in the privacy of your own home.
I can tell you that most of the information they are requesting is easy to access. You are basically giving them permission to get all medical records from each and every place your husband has gone to. I kept all of my receipts with the facilities mailing addresses and entered them in the online application. I didn't have specific dates, so I just really put around the time of month the tests were done (Month/Year). They are going to get all of that information with the dates anyway. I can tell you this, it took about 4 weeks from the time I filed to get a letter in the mail stating our daughter had been approved, and we had to meet with a person at our local SSA office and bring in some additional information before they could start mailing her checks. Once we went in and took care of that, we started receiving her SSI check in the mail the following month. It really depends on how quickly the facilities respond to the request for medical records. I actually work at one of the hospitals, and had already alerted the Medical Records clerk to be on the look out for the request. I have even started getting copies of everything and keeping for myself to help expedite any future request.
I want you to know that God does answer prayers and miracles do happen. You guys are not fighting this battle alone.
We will continue to hold your family close to our hearts and pray that God will rebuke this cancer, and Mike will be whole again. In Jesus Name.
Catrina "Simmons" Jones & Family
So glad you got to go to church and worship our Awesome LORD. We were together for prayer tonight and of course we prayed for you guys. But I have to tell you that Natalie wanted to pray for Mike, she will be 6 in December, and it was the sweetest prayer, I wish you could've heard her. We love you all so very much, Lynnette & the Tucson CG XOXOX
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