Tonight I want to focus on saying Thank You to everyone. I don't know how I can possibly express those simple words. While this battle is hard and there are somethings that Mike has to do on his own, like eat and take the supplements, we are truly in this as part of a team. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that when we left Shalimar for Sarasota that we would not come back. But when God moves, you have to move with Him.
First and foremost, thank you for the prayers and please don't stop praying for us. Mike is doing well, but this battle is far from over. His blood work is surprisingly good for someone with his diagnosis. However, he still has to eat, drink and take his supplements. That is a huge battle everyday. They want him to consume 3000 calories a day. For a man that has been struggling to lose weight his whole life, there is a mental battle to overcome. We are resorting to putting Flax seed oil in goat yogurt to beef up his calorie count. He also has to keep a food diary. I looked at him today and told him that he will have to do that. I can not be responsible for it because there are too many other things I have to track.
Thank you to my family who is picking up a the majority of these medical bills. I debated about whether or not to post this, but I truly believe that everyone reading this is in this battle with us and I hope that someone out there can learn from this journey. As far as I can tell, we are about $30,000 into this battle. That is out of pocket. That doesn't include some of the things Tricare has picked up - like the PICC line.
Thank you to Giact and Melissa. Words can not express this relationship - well maybe of God. They have helped financially. They have helped spiritually and they have helped emotionally.
A special request.... As I have gotten to know Melissa more and more, one of the things that she absolutely loves is Christmas. I can't even explain it in this blog. So I have a request. I want everyone that can to send Melissa a note of Thanks along with a Christmas Ornament from wherever you are or to represent something of our relationship with you. It doesn't have to be bought. It can be hand made. I want to flood Giact with them so they understand the impact they have made through helping one person. Would you do that for us? You have no idea how Satan is attacking them right now since we walked off that plane one week ago. Her mother has been in the ER twice, her sister once, and now she is off with her brother tonight. He has detached his retina and is going to have emergency surgery tonight. Please pray for him.
Giact's Address: 303 S. Jupiter #100 Allen, TX 75002 Attention Melissa Brown
Thank you to the Maxwells for everything they have done and are doing.
Thank you to Faith for selling our house. You were awesome to work with and I know God will handle the details.
Thank you to Missy and the Ladners for packing us up
Thank you to the Webbers for driving our car back and turtles
Thank you to the 623rd for handling the deck. Roxanne said it looks incredible and she is sending us pictures!
Thank you to Hal for handling our lawn
Thank you to Suhi at TMO for everything!
Thank you to Kay for everything you are doing with us and the medical needs
Thank you to Col Fowler for everything you have done to help us in this
Thank you to Col Weigand for going above and beyond the job and supporting us and our needs
Thank you to Cinco Baptist for prayers and your support for us
Thank you to the B-1 community. We love you so much and are so proud to be apart of that history.
Thank you to everyone in Sarasota for everything.
Thank you to my family for meeting our needs no matter what the cost
Thank you to the strangers that are emailing us strong prayers and helpful hints
Thank you to Pastor Herman and Pierre for your incredible healing prayers and songs
Thank you to Dr. Cousineau for everything you are doing to push the MEB
Thank you to friends old and new for continuing to walk with us on this journey and pray for us.
Thank you to our Tucson Community Group for still being there for us
Thank you to Tucson friends for you prayers and emails
Thank you to Abilene friends for your prayers and emails
Thank you to everyone around the world who is praying
Thank you to Dena and Carrie for everything you did for us in Sarasota
Thank you to Dr Bo for caring enough for house calls
Thank you to everyone that I forgot and for everything you have done. God has truly knitted this journey together.
Finally, thank you to God for sending Jesus and giving us Victory in Him!
Please continue to pray that:
Mike will eat 1500 calories a day this weekend
Mike will drink more
Mike will swallow more pills
That our compounds will be ready
That the cancer will continue to become weak and his immune system will get stronger and stronger
Pray that God will reveal Cancer antibodies in the blood test results on Monday
Pray that I will get more restful sleep
Pray that I can be organized
Pray that God will smooth the way with all the things that need to be done
Pray that God will produce the Retirement orders
Pray that the move will be smooth and that there will be no damage or nothing missing
God is Good! Have a great night!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
8 weeks today.... God is in control
Today is Mike's Birthday! It has been 8 weeks now since our diagnosis and Mike is still with us. By now, Mike is supposed to have died according to our diagnosis. But he is alive, both on this earth and in his walk with the Lord. We are having a small gathering tonight to celebrate. God is so full of mercies. Not only is Mike alive, he is walking, talking, and apart of life. We all know it is by God's grace. I have always believed that there is not one child conceived on this earth that God didn't intend. However, now I know that God is also the one who knows when He calls us home.
There are so many things to tell everyone about. Mike signed the MEB paperwork and I faxed that back today. So the process begins. We hope to have our retirement on Nov 4 or 5. We will be selling back 60 full days of leave, so that will help us in the meantime until we can file all the paperwork at all the different agencies. Once we get the official orders, we have to go down to the VA in Dallas and "sign-in" and they will determine disability from there. I am unsure how long that process will take. Hopefully not long.
Hurlburt is working so hard for us. I have been working with this great lady at TMO and she is handling all the details of getting the house packed up. At first, I was going to fly back there and pack it up. Mike was uncomfortable with me leaving for 4 days so we have asked friends to handle that for us. The Webbers, the Hickmans and the Maxwells will take care of it. How weird is that? I can't believe that I have gotten to the point that it is only stuff and God will take care of it through friends. It is amazing the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I can replace furniture, clothes, etc. Time with Mike and Elizabeth is at a premium right now and that is where our focus needs to be.
I will also eventually need to go to the Social Security Administration and file for disability there. There is an online form, but they need all kinds of medical records, documents, and phone numbers. So that is going to take some energy to get that accomplished. That process can take 3-5 months. But it will be an additional source of income for us so I am going to have to find the time to get it done.
We are putting our house on the market. I am a little sad about that. I just loved that house. I loved the layout and the feel of it and the neighborhood. Of course we are doing everything remotely and handing power of attorney to the Maxwells for those details.
Once we get the official move dates, the good news is that we can do a door to door. The house we will be staying at for at least a year is empty and ready to go. If any of our friends in Abiliene want to drive across and help with the unloading and unpacking of the house, feel free. I know my family will help and some friends here, but the more the merrier and the quicker the job.
I can not believe it has been 8 weeks already since that day at Eglin. Yet as I look back, all I can see is God's provision for us in everything. I can see that He carried us when we couldn't walk. He breathe for us when we couldn't breathe. He held us when we cried. He sent us angels to protect us. He placed people in our path to make decisions for us. He strengthen our faith. We felt His humbling presence. He spoke to us through His word and through visions. He has given people visions and messages for us. This is all real. This is all REAL. God is so REAL and He has yet to leave us. Aren't we lucky? I can't imagine being on this road without him. He is our rock and our fortress. There are times when we have just said, " I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens us." Mike would be throwing up, in pain, or worse and he would say in over and over again.
So that is where we are... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. You can just read the blog and see the amazing amount of paperwork and hurdles that will be coming in the next few weeks. This is on top of taking the medicine, IV's and doctor's appointments. And of course that is on top of buying groceries, paying bills, getting Elizabeth to school and activities. But Jesus will provide a way through friends, family, and his perfect timing.
Please continue to pray for us. Your prayers sustain us like you do not know. I haven't gotten around to emails just yet. I will start to work on them soon.
Pray for:
The cancer to decrease and his body and health to increase
For Sleep
For no pain at night
For Mike's swelling in his feet and legs to decrease
For the Cancer Antibodies test to come back strong
For Elizabeth at school as she tries to find her way in her first public school
For me to have extreme organizational skills with all this paperwork that is very important. That is a hard task with our living situation right now.
God's provision for us and that we can sell our house quickly without a huge loss.
There are so many things to tell everyone about. Mike signed the MEB paperwork and I faxed that back today. So the process begins. We hope to have our retirement on Nov 4 or 5. We will be selling back 60 full days of leave, so that will help us in the meantime until we can file all the paperwork at all the different agencies. Once we get the official orders, we have to go down to the VA in Dallas and "sign-in" and they will determine disability from there. I am unsure how long that process will take. Hopefully not long.
Hurlburt is working so hard for us. I have been working with this great lady at TMO and she is handling all the details of getting the house packed up. At first, I was going to fly back there and pack it up. Mike was uncomfortable with me leaving for 4 days so we have asked friends to handle that for us. The Webbers, the Hickmans and the Maxwells will take care of it. How weird is that? I can't believe that I have gotten to the point that it is only stuff and God will take care of it through friends. It is amazing the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I can replace furniture, clothes, etc. Time with Mike and Elizabeth is at a premium right now and that is where our focus needs to be.
I will also eventually need to go to the Social Security Administration and file for disability there. There is an online form, but they need all kinds of medical records, documents, and phone numbers. So that is going to take some energy to get that accomplished. That process can take 3-5 months. But it will be an additional source of income for us so I am going to have to find the time to get it done.
We are putting our house on the market. I am a little sad about that. I just loved that house. I loved the layout and the feel of it and the neighborhood. Of course we are doing everything remotely and handing power of attorney to the Maxwells for those details.
Once we get the official move dates, the good news is that we can do a door to door. The house we will be staying at for at least a year is empty and ready to go. If any of our friends in Abiliene want to drive across and help with the unloading and unpacking of the house, feel free. I know my family will help and some friends here, but the more the merrier and the quicker the job.
I can not believe it has been 8 weeks already since that day at Eglin. Yet as I look back, all I can see is God's provision for us in everything. I can see that He carried us when we couldn't walk. He breathe for us when we couldn't breathe. He held us when we cried. He sent us angels to protect us. He placed people in our path to make decisions for us. He strengthen our faith. We felt His humbling presence. He spoke to us through His word and through visions. He has given people visions and messages for us. This is all real. This is all REAL. God is so REAL and He has yet to leave us. Aren't we lucky? I can't imagine being on this road without him. He is our rock and our fortress. There are times when we have just said, " I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens us." Mike would be throwing up, in pain, or worse and he would say in over and over again.
So that is where we are... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. You can just read the blog and see the amazing amount of paperwork and hurdles that will be coming in the next few weeks. This is on top of taking the medicine, IV's and doctor's appointments. And of course that is on top of buying groceries, paying bills, getting Elizabeth to school and activities. But Jesus will provide a way through friends, family, and his perfect timing.
Please continue to pray for us. Your prayers sustain us like you do not know. I haven't gotten around to emails just yet. I will start to work on them soon.
Pray for:
The cancer to decrease and his body and health to increase
For Sleep
For no pain at night
For Mike's swelling in his feet and legs to decrease
For the Cancer Antibodies test to come back strong
For Elizabeth at school as she tries to find her way in her first public school
For me to have extreme organizational skills with all this paperwork that is very important. That is a hard task with our living situation right now.
God's provision for us and that we can sell our house quickly without a huge loss.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A short blog on the past few days and God's protection and plan for us
I don't even know where to start with this blog. Thank you everyone for being patient. Everything just happened so fast. I want to start off by declaring "How awesome is my God and his timing is perfect!"
Thank you to Carrie and Dena and Nancie for everything you did to help us move from Sarasota to McKinney on less than 12 hours notice. Our van arrived today and everything was there. Thank you.
Do you know how sometimes God moves things to save you? Well that is what happened. We boarded the most amazing plane. It was absolutely beautiful and only had 60 hours on it. Dad hired a flying nurse to fly with us in case Mike had severe pain issues flying. Mark was great as were Mike and Bill who flew the plane. We took off for McKinney. I was so unsettled. There were so many emotions going on. But God spoke to me and said, " Peace be still." At that point I had such a huge peace and had a vision that God was picking the plane up in His hand and landing it in McKinney.
Mike did so well on the flight. In fact, his stats were better in the air than on the ground (truth!). I told him it was because that is Mike's body relaxing and at peace flying, like it is saying I am home.
We land in McKinney to a welcome wagon. There was a fire truck, signs, flags, - a real hero's welcome. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. We didn't have time to really absorb it because we had a meeting with Dr. Rae in Dallas. He specializes in Environmental Health and nutrition. We get there and go through everything and they draw labs on Mike. We then head back to my sister's house and everything is there for us. Food, friends and family. We finally go to bed.
Thursday is the next day. Elizabeth started school and we went back to the Doctor's office. At the same time, my mom is undergoing surgery to remove her uterus and the cancer that is there. We get to the Dr's office and they want to redraw blood from Mike. To make a LONG day short, Mike had almost no red blood cells. His level was 3. If we would have stayed longer, Mike would have had a stroke and died. But God's timing is perfect and he saved him. We went to the emergency room and spent 2 days in the hospital getting blood. Mike ended up getting 6 bags of blood and his level is up to 8.1. The whole time, Melissa and Evelyn and Giact didn't leave our sides. We even got to meet Pastor Herman. He prayed for us in the emergency room and anointed Mike with oil. Mike felt his esophagus and stomach burn. He prayed for me and touched me. I saw Jesus's face twice. It was so powerful and overwhelming.
We spent the next two days in the hospital. Mike slept in a bed and I slept on this fold out chair thing that was not very comfortable. So as you can imagine, I was too tired to blog. We got out late last night (9:00 pm) and then we had to get Elizabeth and get home. I then made up an IV bag for Mike of Vit C. So I really didn't fall asleep until 3:00 am this morning.
Today is Sunday and we are still here. Mike met with Dr. Teleran for 4.5 hours this afternoon. We will also meet with him in the morning. He is going to do a blood test on Mike. This blood test will tell him about his immune system and if he has enough antibodies to fight cancer. The results take about a week. So I am calling on all our prayer warriors to pray specifically that Mike will have enough antibodies. Now I still believe that God can cure this without them. I just know that He will. I mean, God has already saved him once. God doesn't leave a work unfinished.
I have to admit, I broke down today. It was so silly to be honest. Nancie, my sister, dropped off the van at the house. It was packed to the nine with all the stuff from Sarasota and from the house. I took one look at it and started to cry. It was so overwhelming to me. No, I wasn't mad at Nancie. She had just taken time off work and flew to Sarasota to drive my van the 20 plus hour drive here. She has also moved out of her house and let us move in until we can get our stuff packed up and moved here. It was just a moment where I felt overwhelmed and that I couldn't do one more thing. But then I heard about what is going on with Melissa right now and I smacked myself around a little bit. I just started to unload one box at a time.
Also, this week we will be working on our Medical Retirement from the Air Force. We have come to the decision that we have to let a few things go to concentrate on getting Mike better. We will be moving to McKinney and moving into my brother's old house for awhile. The best thing is that I know all the neighbors and Elizabeth is in her cousin's class at school. God is good and He is still with us. He will never leave or forsake us.
Please continue to pray for:
God's divine wisdom as we walk through the maze of Dr's and therapies
Sleep for everyone
Family time that doesn't revolve around cancer
Mike to eat more
Mike to drink more
Mike to be able to take all the regime
Mike has cancer fighting antibodies
Elizabeth as she tackles her 4th school in one year
Me... sleep, composure, strength, and Godly hugs
Thank you to the Iverson's and the Prices. I was just able to go through the mail. I will publish our new address once we get everything packed up and moved in.
Also, we have a great house in Shalimar that is for sale if anyone knows anyone that needs a house!!!
We love you all. I will slowly get around to all the emails over the next few days.
Thank you to Carrie and Dena and Nancie for everything you did to help us move from Sarasota to McKinney on less than 12 hours notice. Our van arrived today and everything was there. Thank you.
Do you know how sometimes God moves things to save you? Well that is what happened. We boarded the most amazing plane. It was absolutely beautiful and only had 60 hours on it. Dad hired a flying nurse to fly with us in case Mike had severe pain issues flying. Mark was great as were Mike and Bill who flew the plane. We took off for McKinney. I was so unsettled. There were so many emotions going on. But God spoke to me and said, " Peace be still." At that point I had such a huge peace and had a vision that God was picking the plane up in His hand and landing it in McKinney.
Mike did so well on the flight. In fact, his stats were better in the air than on the ground (truth!). I told him it was because that is Mike's body relaxing and at peace flying, like it is saying I am home.
We land in McKinney to a welcome wagon. There was a fire truck, signs, flags, - a real hero's welcome. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. We didn't have time to really absorb it because we had a meeting with Dr. Rae in Dallas. He specializes in Environmental Health and nutrition. We get there and go through everything and they draw labs on Mike. We then head back to my sister's house and everything is there for us. Food, friends and family. We finally go to bed.
Thursday is the next day. Elizabeth started school and we went back to the Doctor's office. At the same time, my mom is undergoing surgery to remove her uterus and the cancer that is there. We get to the Dr's office and they want to redraw blood from Mike. To make a LONG day short, Mike had almost no red blood cells. His level was 3. If we would have stayed longer, Mike would have had a stroke and died. But God's timing is perfect and he saved him. We went to the emergency room and spent 2 days in the hospital getting blood. Mike ended up getting 6 bags of blood and his level is up to 8.1. The whole time, Melissa and Evelyn and Giact didn't leave our sides. We even got to meet Pastor Herman. He prayed for us in the emergency room and anointed Mike with oil. Mike felt his esophagus and stomach burn. He prayed for me and touched me. I saw Jesus's face twice. It was so powerful and overwhelming.
We spent the next two days in the hospital. Mike slept in a bed and I slept on this fold out chair thing that was not very comfortable. So as you can imagine, I was too tired to blog. We got out late last night (9:00 pm) and then we had to get Elizabeth and get home. I then made up an IV bag for Mike of Vit C. So I really didn't fall asleep until 3:00 am this morning.
Today is Sunday and we are still here. Mike met with Dr. Teleran for 4.5 hours this afternoon. We will also meet with him in the morning. He is going to do a blood test on Mike. This blood test will tell him about his immune system and if he has enough antibodies to fight cancer. The results take about a week. So I am calling on all our prayer warriors to pray specifically that Mike will have enough antibodies. Now I still believe that God can cure this without them. I just know that He will. I mean, God has already saved him once. God doesn't leave a work unfinished.
I have to admit, I broke down today. It was so silly to be honest. Nancie, my sister, dropped off the van at the house. It was packed to the nine with all the stuff from Sarasota and from the house. I took one look at it and started to cry. It was so overwhelming to me. No, I wasn't mad at Nancie. She had just taken time off work and flew to Sarasota to drive my van the 20 plus hour drive here. She has also moved out of her house and let us move in until we can get our stuff packed up and moved here. It was just a moment where I felt overwhelmed and that I couldn't do one more thing. But then I heard about what is going on with Melissa right now and I smacked myself around a little bit. I just started to unload one box at a time.
Also, this week we will be working on our Medical Retirement from the Air Force. We have come to the decision that we have to let a few things go to concentrate on getting Mike better. We will be moving to McKinney and moving into my brother's old house for awhile. The best thing is that I know all the neighbors and Elizabeth is in her cousin's class at school. God is good and He is still with us. He will never leave or forsake us.
Please continue to pray for:
God's divine wisdom as we walk through the maze of Dr's and therapies
Sleep for everyone
Family time that doesn't revolve around cancer
Mike to eat more
Mike to drink more
Mike to be able to take all the regime
Mike has cancer fighting antibodies
Elizabeth as she tackles her 4th school in one year
Me... sleep, composure, strength, and Godly hugs
Thank you to the Iverson's and the Prices. I was just able to go through the mail. I will publish our new address once we get everything packed up and moved in.
Also, we have a great house in Shalimar that is for sale if anyone knows anyone that needs a house!!!
We love you all. I will slowly get around to all the emails over the next few days.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I will live to declare the Miraculous Works of God
Hold on everyone. Actually - I mean pray on everyone!!!
Another Tsunami has been formed by God and we are riding another wave of God's divine plan for us. I don't have time to blog everything, but I will tomorrow night.
Dena Howard has arrived and brought us a message that God gave her Mother-in-law while praying for Mike. It was to tell Mike that God said to tell him the "He will live to declare the Miraculous Works of God." Dena has arrived just in time to help in our time of need. Mike, Elizabeth and I will be boarding a chartered flight tomorrow at 9:30 am to head to McKinney. We will be traveling with a nurse just in case the air pressure causes issue with the gas pain that he can experience. We will be traveling from 10:00 am EST for about 2.5 hours. Please pray for Mike during that time and for us.
Melissa and Evelyn will meet us at the airport and whisk us off to a Doctor's appointment. Again, I will blog more tomorrow night. I will give everyone just a small hint of God's moving for Mike. Evelyn and Melissa have tracked down the world's top expert in cancer. He is from Israel and is in the US right now. Giact is flying him to Dallas on Sunday and he will be making a house call to examine Mike. Giact is even handling all his equipment's needs.
I will only get about 12 hours with Dena but she has come at the perfect time. I also called in my moving expert, Carrie Simmons. She is in Tampa and she is coming down in the morning. I have packed all the essential things needed and I am leaving her and Dena behind to pack the van, check out, and move the van to a safe location. My sister Nancie and a friend are flying into Sarasota on Friday and picking up the van. They will drive to Shalimar to pick up some things that Roxanne is packing for us and then bring the van on to McKinney.
All this has happened really within 24 hours. I am at a lost for words at God's provision for us. Thank you to everyone who is making this possible. So many are doing so much. I will stay up late if I have to explain everything tomorrow.
Please pray for :
Travel Safety
For Mike to not need pain medication
For Mike to sleep and eat and have energy
For all the details of this quick move
For travel safety for Dena and Carrie
For God's continue care of Mike's needs
For sleep for me tonight
Finally, I have to say thank you for the amazing emails that have been sent the past couple of days. Kathleen's dad sent a powerful one that brought us to tears. Thanks for the call Dawn. Just to hear your voice made it seem like you were down the street.
I want to end by saying that I serve the Mighty and Powerful God!
Another Tsunami has been formed by God and we are riding another wave of God's divine plan for us. I don't have time to blog everything, but I will tomorrow night.
Dena Howard has arrived and brought us a message that God gave her Mother-in-law while praying for Mike. It was to tell Mike that God said to tell him the "He will live to declare the Miraculous Works of God." Dena has arrived just in time to help in our time of need. Mike, Elizabeth and I will be boarding a chartered flight tomorrow at 9:30 am to head to McKinney. We will be traveling with a nurse just in case the air pressure causes issue with the gas pain that he can experience. We will be traveling from 10:00 am EST for about 2.5 hours. Please pray for Mike during that time and for us.
Melissa and Evelyn will meet us at the airport and whisk us off to a Doctor's appointment. Again, I will blog more tomorrow night. I will give everyone just a small hint of God's moving for Mike. Evelyn and Melissa have tracked down the world's top expert in cancer. He is from Israel and is in the US right now. Giact is flying him to Dallas on Sunday and he will be making a house call to examine Mike. Giact is even handling all his equipment's needs.
I will only get about 12 hours with Dena but she has come at the perfect time. I also called in my moving expert, Carrie Simmons. She is in Tampa and she is coming down in the morning. I have packed all the essential things needed and I am leaving her and Dena behind to pack the van, check out, and move the van to a safe location. My sister Nancie and a friend are flying into Sarasota on Friday and picking up the van. They will drive to Shalimar to pick up some things that Roxanne is packing for us and then bring the van on to McKinney.
All this has happened really within 24 hours. I am at a lost for words at God's provision for us. Thank you to everyone who is making this possible. So many are doing so much. I will stay up late if I have to explain everything tomorrow.
Please pray for :
Travel Safety
For Mike to not need pain medication
For Mike to sleep and eat and have energy
For all the details of this quick move
For travel safety for Dena and Carrie
For God's continue care of Mike's needs
For sleep for me tonight
Finally, I have to say thank you for the amazing emails that have been sent the past couple of days. Kathleen's dad sent a powerful one that brought us to tears. Thanks for the call Dawn. Just to hear your voice made it seem like you were down the street.
I want to end by saying that I serve the Mighty and Powerful God!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I closed the door on Mike in bed with another woman this weekend
I know that title got your attention.... keep reading and it will make sense!
Guess what? I have been claiming how much I trust God in this journey and do you know what has happened and what has been revealed to me this weekend? I have allowed fear to creep in and totally consume me. I have also allowed myself to believe I could do this on my own and I can't. It got to a point on Friday morning that I was so scared I called Melissa and told her I needed her to help make some decisions about Mike. I was so consumed by the fear that I could be losing him, that I allowed myself to look at him and think I was losing him. I needed someone that has been through this pit of fire to look at him.
So God took action for me through Melissa. She dropped everything and flew out here with Pierre. I had physically gotten to the point where I had this pain in my upper chest and yet I didn't put two and two together. When Melissa showed up, I felt like I melted in her arms. She admitted later that I looked worse than Mike. She came in and took over in a good way. She readily admits that Mike's biggest issue and biggest worry right now is not the cancer, but the lack of food and water. But we went shopping at Whole Foods and came up with a plan. I truly have allowed fear to paralyze any sense of decision making I have had. I couldn't think. Mike wants to eat fruit, but he should eat veggies. She reminded me, "what does it matter right now as long as he eats? He needs to eat organic foods but he needs to eat. " We are on a 10 bite a day rule. He is going to eat 10 bites a day for 3 days and then we are going to increase in to 15. She also made dinner for Elizabeth and I. I haven't cooked in over 6 weeks. The smell of food in this place was so good. We sat down to eat pasta, chicken, salad, asparagus, and garlic bread. It was the best meal. It felt like Thanksgiving and I even teared up. It just felt good to eat at the table.
Melissa and Pierre brought laughter. Melissa brought brilliant ideas. She went out with me and bought Mike and wheelchair, a barf bucket, ice pads, scented oils, etc. She shot straight with me. I was a little resistant to the wheel chair. I thought if we put Mike in a wheel chair it means he is sick (I know. No comments please.) But as she explained, he has so little energy why waste it on getting to and from the car? Why not use it to play a board game with Elizabeth or going down to the dock? That is the same idea behind the barf bucket. Why waste the energy getting to the toilet? The ice pads are for the stomach pain. Icing you stomach will help reduce swelling and reduce the pain. She bought lavender scented oil for Mike's room. Lavender relaxes you. She talked about living and she really helped us make some decisions that I will reveal later during the week.
I am embarrassed to admit, but Melissa seemed to know more what Mike needed than I did. She knew when to rub him, when to let him sleep, what would taste good to him, and when to push him. Mike went to bed to rest. He sits up in bed and then leans over on 3 king size pillow stacked up. Melissa went in and prayed for him and then opened the bible and started reading. I heard it and shut the door and walked in the kitchen. I looked at Pierre and said, "I just shut the door on my husband in bed with another woman." I laughed and so did Pierre. But in all honesty it wasn't that. It was a Christian ministering to another Christian. There was no boy, girl, black, white, short, tall... just one soul healing and speaking to another soul. THAT is God in Action.
So Melissa and Pierre have safely landed back in Dallas. I want to publicly thank both of their spouses, children, and all the friends and families that made this weekend happen. I don't know how God loves me so much to move mountains for me. Make no mistake, Melissa and Pierre coming was God moving mountains. Even down to the fact that there were no plane tickets on Friday night and they called American and two seats had just opened up. (Exactly two seats... God in action)
God has also acted for us at home. I understand that the 623rd has handled a home project for us over the weekend that we needed to have done. One of those projects we had postponed for the fall, because it is too hot and humid in the summer. Thank you.
Dena and Doug will be at Eglin tomorrow. Dena is picking up Mike's car and driving down here to help for a few days.
Please continue to pray for Mike and for Elizabeth and I. Mike has had a rough day. Until about 3:00 pm, Mike threw up whatever he took including water. However, God is good. Mike has a PICC line on Thursday so we did the IV's at the condo this weekend. They gave us saline too. So Mike got his Vitamin C drip and saline today. He seems to be resting well now and even kept some yogurt down. Praise God. There will be a lot of decisions this week. Some made by us and some made on behalf of us. Pray that all those decisions will be God's will for us.
I have three things I want to end with..
I found out this weekend that GIACT means God in Action Coming Together.
As Mike and I take some steps this week, I am going to blog them. Mostly because we have so many friends of all ranks that might be able to learn some things through this that will either help them or someone else at some point.
Finally, this was sent in an email and is a poem from Maya Angelou. It really spoke to me and I want to share it to give some insight into who I am
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin,
'I'm whispering 'I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven.'
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess…
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!
Guess what? I have been claiming how much I trust God in this journey and do you know what has happened and what has been revealed to me this weekend? I have allowed fear to creep in and totally consume me. I have also allowed myself to believe I could do this on my own and I can't. It got to a point on Friday morning that I was so scared I called Melissa and told her I needed her to help make some decisions about Mike. I was so consumed by the fear that I could be losing him, that I allowed myself to look at him and think I was losing him. I needed someone that has been through this pit of fire to look at him.
So God took action for me through Melissa. She dropped everything and flew out here with Pierre. I had physically gotten to the point where I had this pain in my upper chest and yet I didn't put two and two together. When Melissa showed up, I felt like I melted in her arms. She admitted later that I looked worse than Mike. She came in and took over in a good way. She readily admits that Mike's biggest issue and biggest worry right now is not the cancer, but the lack of food and water. But we went shopping at Whole Foods and came up with a plan. I truly have allowed fear to paralyze any sense of decision making I have had. I couldn't think. Mike wants to eat fruit, but he should eat veggies. She reminded me, "what does it matter right now as long as he eats? He needs to eat organic foods but he needs to eat. " We are on a 10 bite a day rule. He is going to eat 10 bites a day for 3 days and then we are going to increase in to 15. She also made dinner for Elizabeth and I. I haven't cooked in over 6 weeks. The smell of food in this place was so good. We sat down to eat pasta, chicken, salad, asparagus, and garlic bread. It was the best meal. It felt like Thanksgiving and I even teared up. It just felt good to eat at the table.
Melissa and Pierre brought laughter. Melissa brought brilliant ideas. She went out with me and bought Mike and wheelchair, a barf bucket, ice pads, scented oils, etc. She shot straight with me. I was a little resistant to the wheel chair. I thought if we put Mike in a wheel chair it means he is sick (I know. No comments please.) But as she explained, he has so little energy why waste it on getting to and from the car? Why not use it to play a board game with Elizabeth or going down to the dock? That is the same idea behind the barf bucket. Why waste the energy getting to the toilet? The ice pads are for the stomach pain. Icing you stomach will help reduce swelling and reduce the pain. She bought lavender scented oil for Mike's room. Lavender relaxes you. She talked about living and she really helped us make some decisions that I will reveal later during the week.
I am embarrassed to admit, but Melissa seemed to know more what Mike needed than I did. She knew when to rub him, when to let him sleep, what would taste good to him, and when to push him. Mike went to bed to rest. He sits up in bed and then leans over on 3 king size pillow stacked up. Melissa went in and prayed for him and then opened the bible and started reading. I heard it and shut the door and walked in the kitchen. I looked at Pierre and said, "I just shut the door on my husband in bed with another woman." I laughed and so did Pierre. But in all honesty it wasn't that. It was a Christian ministering to another Christian. There was no boy, girl, black, white, short, tall... just one soul healing and speaking to another soul. THAT is God in Action.
So Melissa and Pierre have safely landed back in Dallas. I want to publicly thank both of their spouses, children, and all the friends and families that made this weekend happen. I don't know how God loves me so much to move mountains for me. Make no mistake, Melissa and Pierre coming was God moving mountains. Even down to the fact that there were no plane tickets on Friday night and they called American and two seats had just opened up. (Exactly two seats... God in action)
God has also acted for us at home. I understand that the 623rd has handled a home project for us over the weekend that we needed to have done. One of those projects we had postponed for the fall, because it is too hot and humid in the summer. Thank you.
Dena and Doug will be at Eglin tomorrow. Dena is picking up Mike's car and driving down here to help for a few days.
Please continue to pray for Mike and for Elizabeth and I. Mike has had a rough day. Until about 3:00 pm, Mike threw up whatever he took including water. However, God is good. Mike has a PICC line on Thursday so we did the IV's at the condo this weekend. They gave us saline too. So Mike got his Vitamin C drip and saline today. He seems to be resting well now and even kept some yogurt down. Praise God. There will be a lot of decisions this week. Some made by us and some made on behalf of us. Pray that all those decisions will be God's will for us.
I have three things I want to end with..
I found out this weekend that GIACT means God in Action Coming Together.
As Mike and I take some steps this week, I am going to blog them. Mostly because we have so many friends of all ranks that might be able to learn some things through this that will either help them or someone else at some point.
Finally, this was sent in an email and is a poem from Maya Angelou. It really spoke to me and I want to share it to give some insight into who I am
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin,
'I'm whispering 'I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven.'
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess…
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say… 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tomato Plant and Phone Numbers
It is Friday and God gave me a vision this morning to describe this week. I could draw it better than write it, but I will try. I am this grown tomato plant with all kinds of tomatoes. Some ripe, some green, and some blooms waiting for the right time to become a tomato. The only way I can stand up and bear all the weight of the tomatoes is because there is a strong stick that is holding me up with lots of anchors.
Again, I am the plant and God is my strong stick (tower). However, the only reason it is supporting me is because I am anchored to it. The top band is the thickest and the strongest and this is Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. The other bands that support the tomato plant represent friends, family, AF, Church, etc. The tomatoes represent the burdens/decisions right now. The biggest one is cancer and Mike. The next one is Elizabeth. There is one that represents the AF. One that represents finances, retirement, house, health, worries, fears, etc. Some are small and some I don't even know about yet. But every time one becomes to heavy to bear, God provides another anchor to support that branch.
So now I will try to explain this vision in our week. I have been through ALL kinds of emotions this week. Here is what I see going on with Mike. He is starting to lose weight again and it scares me. It makes sense. He is not really eating anything. I also see his stomach and it looks like it is getting bigger and that scares me. It could be the cancer or it could be gas or it could be that he is not eating. Mike is experiencing so much pain at night. The gas is building up and nothing seems to help. I have spent a couple of nights in a row up with him; sometimes in the room or sometimes in the living room just praying that God will help. Of course this has led to total exhaustion and then that led to emotional instability. I completely trust that God loves Mike more than I do, but it is so hard to sit by and watch and be helpless.
To balance that out, we have had some really good moments this week. We have been to this great bay side park off the Siesta Key Bridge. You can pull right up to a bench and Mike can look out over the bay into downtown Sarasota. It is pretty and it is the first time Mike has been out really since we have been here.
I got really mad at the cancer on Wednesday. I had made up my mind that I was just going to kick Mike's butt into eating and getting nutrients. He can just drink it, throw it up and drink it again. Sounded better than the actual situation.
Mike had a PICC line put in on Thursday. This is one of those tomatoes that ripen very quickly. The AF really bent over backwards to get this done for us down here. God gave us at so many supports on that one - Kay, Col Fowler, Col Weigand, Maj Sharon, Tina, Dr. Cousineau, even Dr. Monhollon. The PICC line became important because it was getting harder and harder to get veins on Mike. A side benefit about the PICC line is I can now hook up Mike to the IV here. So tomorrow we are still doing all our Therapies, but we don't have to drive anywhere. The wellness center also gave us an LBG machine for the weekend.
Col Weigand flew down here for the day on Thursday to be with us. I felt bad for him because I was an emotional wreck and more tired than I have been since Elizabeth was 6 weeks old. Tired for me equals tears plain and simple. In fact, Roxanne, Scott, and Dena have talked me off the ledge this week. But here is the other absolute amazing support that God provided. Col Weigand happens to go to the same church, Cinco Baptist, that we do. He called Abe that is in his Sunday School class on Tuesday to see if he would fly him down here. If he flew commercial, it is an 8 hours flight. If he drove it was a 7 hour drive one way. He only had one day. Abe called him back and said, "Absolutely". He cancel all his appointments for the day and did it. Not only that, he prayed over us. He loved Elizabeth. He brought us lunch while we were waiting at the hospital for Mike (PICC Line). He didn't even know us. His wife passed away in 2000 from cancer and he understood. When I was explaining our protocol, he knew what we were doing and why. It is always such a relief when people actually understand the science behind what we are doing.
Col Weigand came down and helped to ripen a tomato and at the same time support that branch. One of those tomatoes has always been the AF and what is going to happen. The AF has been great in supporting us down here but yet we knew the time would come when that tomato would ripen. Col Weigand really explained things to us and we are in the process of making some decisions. Sometimes you have to pick that fruit to lighten the load. I think MY biggest fear is the fear of leaving the AF in this new town we have moved to and not having the support system we need. The fear was actually bigger because I wouldn't say it or write it down. However, once I saw it in writing it really helped. I realize that I am putting God in a box. He will provide just as He is doing right now.
Col Fowler is an amazing support. He is that go to person for us when a tomato ripens too quick. He is the emergency support who moves mountains. I have a confession too. When he first sent the email that he was our go to man, I got upset. I thought I had just been assigned a person to handle Mike's affairs. I don't know the official AF term for it, but the person they assign when someone passes away. Col Fowler doesn't even know this, so if he is reading this blog, I am sorry. I was so wrong about that. SO WRONG. Please know those feelings were probably just out of fear and it was nothing that was said. Just me going off the deep end.
Aunt Mary has been a support this week. She came in Sunday and was supposed to leave on Thursday. Wednesday night was so bad that I couldn't bear to see her leave. I was so tired and I just needed someone to help. She cleaned the bathrooms, the condo and last night I handed her my phone and said, "I have to go to bed. Elizabeth needs to be in bed at 8:15 and I am done." She went to the grocery store. OH and she took Elizabeth to Discovery Cove, Seaworld and Downtown Disney. Elizabeth had the time of her life and it allowed Mike and I some time together.
Florida Integrative Medicine is a huge support. I know I have talked about them so much, but they really love Mike and work so hard for him. I went in today and told them (in tears) about how Mike threw up all night. It got so bad he couldn't even crawl to the toilet anymore. He just put the trash can on the bed. He was very dehydrated. They took care of all our needs. I left Mike and came back and he looked better. They gave him an extra bag of saline today on top of the Vitamin C. They are also going to start doing this Ultraviolet treatment to his blood on Monday. I will type more about that next week.
The Maxwells.... words can not express the support they have been. It is one of those rare friendships that was truly God ordained from the start. We met at Hurlburt Chapel and then we move one street over from them. They have taken over the care of our house completely. I have called so many times with "I need this and it has been done. Period." I want to wrap them up and keep them with me forever. This week I called her and ask her to check on Mike's car for Dena. She is flying in on Monday with Doug. Doug has some AF thing at Eglin and Dena is going to drive Mike's car down here for a few days. I was worried because the car hasn't been driven since August. But they are taking care of it.
I could and should go on more about the tomatoes, but I am hoping you understand. I truly could not stand under the weight of this without God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Period. But when the load is too much to bear, He has taken it a step further and added all of you as supports. Thank you.
I have some things I really want to tell everyone..
1. My Blackberry fried today. A "Fatal Software glitch" they said. Verizon replaced it at no cost, but I have NO ONE's phone number any more. Please email me or call me so I can start building it back. EVERYONE has to do this... deanna.phillips@cox.net
2. ABILENE friends.... OK. Get this. We are in the IV clinic and this older gentleman was talking about how his son asked him to teach a class for him next semester in Abilene. So my ears perked up and I said how much we loved Abilene. He said he was going to teach at Hardin Simmons. I said we know a lot of people at Hardin Simmons. So this gentleman turns out to the the former Dean of the Business School (Coleman!) Jimmy Monhollon. I looked at him funny and he said that his son is Dr. Monhollon - the one that has been SO nice to us at Florida Integrative Medicine. He actually owns it, but is the one that has been coming in on Sundays after church to do the IV for us. Mr. Monhollon also went to First Baptist Church while we were there. We talked about China Star and Joe Allens and just what a great place Abilene is to live because of the people.
3. It think we are really in the trenches right now. This has been such a hard week. I really know that people have gone on with life, but if you are still reading and can send a email/card of support this week, it would mean the world right now. We are still striving to go home next weekend, but if we have a week like this week, I am not sure if we can.
4. PRAYERS... Please cover us in prayer. I feel like that I don't know what to pray anymore. Kathleen sent me an email that God used to answer my despair. Just pray Jesus. I have done that so much this week. Specific prayer needs are still the same: sleep, rest, eat, and drink. Also, that the gas pain will go away and that God will continue to reduce this tumor. The MRI said that tumor was near Mike's aorta in his stomach. The UCLA doctor said she would need to know how close it was, if it was involved in the tissue before she would even consider it. Pray specifically that God will shrink back the tumor by his aorta.
We love you and I will be better this weekend and next week with the blog. Melissa and Pierre are on there way here to help us this weekend. I need their eyes, their wisdom, and their experience so much right now.
God Bless you and don't forget about your phone numbers! Roxanne... you too!
Again, I am the plant and God is my strong stick (tower). However, the only reason it is supporting me is because I am anchored to it. The top band is the thickest and the strongest and this is Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. The other bands that support the tomato plant represent friends, family, AF, Church, etc. The tomatoes represent the burdens/decisions right now. The biggest one is cancer and Mike. The next one is Elizabeth. There is one that represents the AF. One that represents finances, retirement, house, health, worries, fears, etc. Some are small and some I don't even know about yet. But every time one becomes to heavy to bear, God provides another anchor to support that branch.
So now I will try to explain this vision in our week. I have been through ALL kinds of emotions this week. Here is what I see going on with Mike. He is starting to lose weight again and it scares me. It makes sense. He is not really eating anything. I also see his stomach and it looks like it is getting bigger and that scares me. It could be the cancer or it could be gas or it could be that he is not eating. Mike is experiencing so much pain at night. The gas is building up and nothing seems to help. I have spent a couple of nights in a row up with him; sometimes in the room or sometimes in the living room just praying that God will help. Of course this has led to total exhaustion and then that led to emotional instability. I completely trust that God loves Mike more than I do, but it is so hard to sit by and watch and be helpless.
To balance that out, we have had some really good moments this week. We have been to this great bay side park off the Siesta Key Bridge. You can pull right up to a bench and Mike can look out over the bay into downtown Sarasota. It is pretty and it is the first time Mike has been out really since we have been here.
I got really mad at the cancer on Wednesday. I had made up my mind that I was just going to kick Mike's butt into eating and getting nutrients. He can just drink it, throw it up and drink it again. Sounded better than the actual situation.
Mike had a PICC line put in on Thursday. This is one of those tomatoes that ripen very quickly. The AF really bent over backwards to get this done for us down here. God gave us at so many supports on that one - Kay, Col Fowler, Col Weigand, Maj Sharon, Tina, Dr. Cousineau, even Dr. Monhollon. The PICC line became important because it was getting harder and harder to get veins on Mike. A side benefit about the PICC line is I can now hook up Mike to the IV here. So tomorrow we are still doing all our Therapies, but we don't have to drive anywhere. The wellness center also gave us an LBG machine for the weekend.
Col Weigand flew down here for the day on Thursday to be with us. I felt bad for him because I was an emotional wreck and more tired than I have been since Elizabeth was 6 weeks old. Tired for me equals tears plain and simple. In fact, Roxanne, Scott, and Dena have talked me off the ledge this week. But here is the other absolute amazing support that God provided. Col Weigand happens to go to the same church, Cinco Baptist, that we do. He called Abe that is in his Sunday School class on Tuesday to see if he would fly him down here. If he flew commercial, it is an 8 hours flight. If he drove it was a 7 hour drive one way. He only had one day. Abe called him back and said, "Absolutely". He cancel all his appointments for the day and did it. Not only that, he prayed over us. He loved Elizabeth. He brought us lunch while we were waiting at the hospital for Mike (PICC Line). He didn't even know us. His wife passed away in 2000 from cancer and he understood. When I was explaining our protocol, he knew what we were doing and why. It is always such a relief when people actually understand the science behind what we are doing.
Col Weigand came down and helped to ripen a tomato and at the same time support that branch. One of those tomatoes has always been the AF and what is going to happen. The AF has been great in supporting us down here but yet we knew the time would come when that tomato would ripen. Col Weigand really explained things to us and we are in the process of making some decisions. Sometimes you have to pick that fruit to lighten the load. I think MY biggest fear is the fear of leaving the AF in this new town we have moved to and not having the support system we need. The fear was actually bigger because I wouldn't say it or write it down. However, once I saw it in writing it really helped. I realize that I am putting God in a box. He will provide just as He is doing right now.
Col Fowler is an amazing support. He is that go to person for us when a tomato ripens too quick. He is the emergency support who moves mountains. I have a confession too. When he first sent the email that he was our go to man, I got upset. I thought I had just been assigned a person to handle Mike's affairs. I don't know the official AF term for it, but the person they assign when someone passes away. Col Fowler doesn't even know this, so if he is reading this blog, I am sorry. I was so wrong about that. SO WRONG. Please know those feelings were probably just out of fear and it was nothing that was said. Just me going off the deep end.
Aunt Mary has been a support this week. She came in Sunday and was supposed to leave on Thursday. Wednesday night was so bad that I couldn't bear to see her leave. I was so tired and I just needed someone to help. She cleaned the bathrooms, the condo and last night I handed her my phone and said, "I have to go to bed. Elizabeth needs to be in bed at 8:15 and I am done." She went to the grocery store. OH and she took Elizabeth to Discovery Cove, Seaworld and Downtown Disney. Elizabeth had the time of her life and it allowed Mike and I some time together.
Florida Integrative Medicine is a huge support. I know I have talked about them so much, but they really love Mike and work so hard for him. I went in today and told them (in tears) about how Mike threw up all night. It got so bad he couldn't even crawl to the toilet anymore. He just put the trash can on the bed. He was very dehydrated. They took care of all our needs. I left Mike and came back and he looked better. They gave him an extra bag of saline today on top of the Vitamin C. They are also going to start doing this Ultraviolet treatment to his blood on Monday. I will type more about that next week.
The Maxwells.... words can not express the support they have been. It is one of those rare friendships that was truly God ordained from the start. We met at Hurlburt Chapel and then we move one street over from them. They have taken over the care of our house completely. I have called so many times with "I need this and it has been done. Period." I want to wrap them up and keep them with me forever. This week I called her and ask her to check on Mike's car for Dena. She is flying in on Monday with Doug. Doug has some AF thing at Eglin and Dena is going to drive Mike's car down here for a few days. I was worried because the car hasn't been driven since August. But they are taking care of it.
I could and should go on more about the tomatoes, but I am hoping you understand. I truly could not stand under the weight of this without God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Period. But when the load is too much to bear, He has taken it a step further and added all of you as supports. Thank you.
I have some things I really want to tell everyone..
1. My Blackberry fried today. A "Fatal Software glitch" they said. Verizon replaced it at no cost, but I have NO ONE's phone number any more. Please email me or call me so I can start building it back. EVERYONE has to do this... deanna.phillips@cox.net
2. ABILENE friends.... OK. Get this. We are in the IV clinic and this older gentleman was talking about how his son asked him to teach a class for him next semester in Abilene. So my ears perked up and I said how much we loved Abilene. He said he was going to teach at Hardin Simmons. I said we know a lot of people at Hardin Simmons. So this gentleman turns out to the the former Dean of the Business School (Coleman!) Jimmy Monhollon. I looked at him funny and he said that his son is Dr. Monhollon - the one that has been SO nice to us at Florida Integrative Medicine. He actually owns it, but is the one that has been coming in on Sundays after church to do the IV for us. Mr. Monhollon also went to First Baptist Church while we were there. We talked about China Star and Joe Allens and just what a great place Abilene is to live because of the people.
3. It think we are really in the trenches right now. This has been such a hard week. I really know that people have gone on with life, but if you are still reading and can send a email/card of support this week, it would mean the world right now. We are still striving to go home next weekend, but if we have a week like this week, I am not sure if we can.
4. PRAYERS... Please cover us in prayer. I feel like that I don't know what to pray anymore. Kathleen sent me an email that God used to answer my despair. Just pray Jesus. I have done that so much this week. Specific prayer needs are still the same: sleep, rest, eat, and drink. Also, that the gas pain will go away and that God will continue to reduce this tumor. The MRI said that tumor was near Mike's aorta in his stomach. The UCLA doctor said she would need to know how close it was, if it was involved in the tissue before she would even consider it. Pray specifically that God will shrink back the tumor by his aorta.
We love you and I will be better this weekend and next week with the blog. Melissa and Pierre are on there way here to help us this weekend. I need their eyes, their wisdom, and their experience so much right now.
God Bless you and don't forget about your phone numbers! Roxanne... you too!
Tonight for sure!
I am sorry. I know how everyone is looking for me to post. I have been so tired and the one night I had the energy I had to pay bills and balance the checkbook.
I will post tonight for sure. Mike has had a rough couple of days. We need prayer so desperately. Pray for him to take fluids, to eat, for the tumor to collapse, and for strength when there is none.
I will post tonight for sure. Mike has had a rough couple of days. We need prayer so desperately. Pray for him to take fluids, to eat, for the tumor to collapse, and for strength when there is none.
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