Friday, August 20, 2010

HAP Program Granted!

Given up on the blog yet? I have gotten a few emails of very loving friends to remind me to post. Things have been busy for Elizabeth and I. Right after Mike's birthday, we decided to take a trip to visit our friend Wendy in Germany. We then convinced her to plan a trip with us to Greece. I think she is still recovering from our visit! We were able to escape the summer heat here, enjoy the beautiful country side in Germany, see my dear friend Dawn, and do back to school shopping in Heidelberg. The trip was surreal. I do love to travel and experience things. It is bittersweet, because Mike would have loved every minute of it. He would have really loved Greece. Now, he would have hated the heat there, but absolutely loved the history, archeology, and the food! Actually, I am still dreaming about the wonderful food especially in Crete. I have never had fresher food in my life.

I have had thought of blogging over the past weeks, but I admit that my emotions are all tangled up and I know by now people are wanting me to post that life is a bed of roses. As I told a friend of mine, sometimes I feel like such a fraud. I am struggling to come to grips with Mike being in heaven every day. I really want him to come home, but I swear I hear him saying I AM home. It is so insane sometimes. As many know, Elizabeth and I are reading through the Bible and I was reading Job. Right after Job loses everything, he is in such turmoil. I was reading that to Elizabeth and flat out bawling. It was if they were my words and I was pleading with God to make sense of everything. Yet, then there are days when I am on my knees thanking God for the blessings in my life. Thanking God that I have loved someone so much and that I had the opportunity to be loved and married to a man like Mike. Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde all the way baby!

My really big news is that our HAP appeal went all the way to Washington DC and by God's grace it was approved. So Mike and I are eligible to re coop some costs on our Florida house. Best of all, I pray that we have paved the way for others in our situation. So many of our military are being hit by cancer. I just know that at some point, there will be a link between cancer and exposures in the line of duty. I do have to tell you that I cry every time someone calls about it. When I found out, I just cried. It is the first time in so long that something has gone right. I just couldn't understand how we didn't qualify. But Mike finally did under the Wounded Warrior clause.

The flip side to that is the VA. I am still waiting on the Burial reimbursement and even though I have started receiving DIC, they are not giving Elizabeth her benefit under that program. I have called and then I got a call that they are still processing and there are others in front of us, which I do understand. What I am confused about is how I started receiving it (for me) and yet my claim is still processing for Elizabeth. You would think that would be a one processing deal.

Other than that, Elizabeth started school this week and I have faxed over my transcripts to the local college to start the process of going back to school in January to earn a teaching certificate.
I will do better at posting...

Please continue to pray for our hearts, the grief, and our future. Please pray for Elizabeth's friend Lindy who lost her dad recently. Please pray for Eric and Earl as they battle Satan's Cancer.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I opened up your blog and there was Mike smiling at me. How can I feel so happy and so sad at the same time? I love that photo. And yet there are tears in my eyes.

I don't expect your life to be a bed of roses and if you told me it was, I'd be pretty worried about you. It's not been very long, Deanna. This is still fresh. This was no small thing. Joining your life with a man, making a new life with a man, battling for life with a man, and then learning to live life without the man...you can't pretend it didn't happen or that it was anything less than a profound shift in the universe that he was ever here.

I am really glad you post. I don't care if you don't always have happy, positive things to say. Shoot, I don't always have happy, positive things to say and I'm not grieving the sort of loss you are. But I learn things when you post. And I feel more connected to you.

Give a hug to Elizabeth for me, and tell her to squeeze back extra hard for me, please. I love you both dearly.

Lisa

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOO glad to hear about the HAP approval. I am so glad they did the right thing!

LOVED our time together here and look forward to our next visit. I don't think anyone expects a bed a roses, we just want to know you are still with us!! I patiently wait, until your ready.

Lots of love...Dawn

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful news about the HAP approval!! Dealing with the VA is another story, but in the end you should see backpay for the last few months.

Also glad to hear you are going back to school--Mike is watching over you two with great pride!

I have missed you posting and we all do not expect to hear your life is a bed of roses. I've said it many times, but grief takes a long time. Sadly, you and Elizabeth still the "first ofs" of deal with over the next several months. Know that your friends and family are hear for you and are praying for you both!

I look forward to seeing you soon!
Love,
Cynthia