Rough Patch

I can not wait until life is normal again... please tell me it will be normal again. I am just so beat down right now. We are retired, which is great, not our timing but God's. This week has just really sucked. We started out by going to the hospital for blood on Monday. Getting out of the hospital on Tuesday. Going to our new PCM on Wednesday. Getting the flu on Thursday. Dealing with referrals/approvals with new PCM on Friday. Wondering what we should do about Mike's care this weekend.

I am down with the flu and had to pull on family to help. I have been running a fever and had body aches since Thursday. I am banished upstairs in hopes that I won't give this to Mike. Everywhere I turn people are coming down with it. I don't know, maybe I am a little depressed right now. It has become extremely evident how much I do and when you can't do it, it is scary. What if something happens to me? Honestly, if Mike didn't have cancer, I would be up doing things. At this point, I only have a slight fever and the Tylenol keeps the aches and pains away. I just can't take the risk that I might infect him. Worst of all, I am now behind in everything being confined to this room upstairs...laundry, cleaning, dishes, groceries, bills, etc... and it is the first time in our married life that Mike can not pick up my slack. Even when he was deployed he could help in some ways by paying bills or just being a strong voice on the other end of the phone.

Elizabeth has had some fun things this past week that I missed. She was in the Talent Show at school and did a Taekwondo presentation. She also had a basketball game this morning. Mike did manage to go to both things, but it wiped him out. He has slept most of the day today.

I am struggling with what to do about Mike's nutrition right now. The current place that provides Mike his TPN is not an approved Tricare provider. Which I am sure we can make the case of continuity of care and get it approved. However, the TPN that Mike is on, is not meeting all his nutritional needs. But it does have high doses Vit C and gluthione, which we feel is cancer fighting. However, I am starting to wonder if Mike is throwing up everyday because of his nutrition needs, or lack of them. We have to make the decision by Monday whether to switch to traditional TPN or try to fight to stay with what we are doing. I so wish Bill was still alive for some insight.

I have also missed a visit from Bill and Kyong this weekend since I am sick. That hurts more than anything. Visit from friends mean the world and just give us a breath of things beyond cancer. I was fortunate on Thursday to meet Angela for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory in Frisco. That was a highlight this week. However, I came down with the flu within 3 hours of that meeting and I am just praying I didn't give her the same lot that I have.

I know I need to end this with something positive so everyone doesn't think I am about to jump off the cliff. The silver lining... I haven't spent this much time in bed since I was pregnant with Elizabeth. I am caught up on junk TV. Most of all, we are still together as a family. God is good.

Pray:
Mike to eat and drink more
Our House in FL to sell and we can break even
Mike to be off TPN by June
Medical decisions that need to be made... Pray that we make God's decisions that fit in His plan
Flu bug to leave this house
Cancer to leave Mike's body
Mike to gain strength
Elizabeth and her walk
To establish a new normal here

Praise:
Mike is still here
People are looking at the house
We have options for Medical needs
Insurance
Blood Donors