Just a quick up date for today. Mike had a better night last night. He was up until about 3:30 or so and then he went to sleep until 8:30. He was up until about noon and then after a good suctioning, went to sleep and is still sleeping. I have to admit the quiet time is wonderful and have been able to dose in a chair until the head bob wakes me up. I also had to admit that I was begging Mike to go to sleep last night so I could sleep. He kept wanting me to hold his hand and who am I to turn that request down?
The doctor came by and I told her we are almost there with the pain management. But she is quick to remind me that it will take more and more as he becomes tolerant to the pain medicines. But in the same breath, the more pain medication the more chance of respiratory suppression. Mike's left arm is swelling most likely due to a blood clot with the PICC line. The PICC line is still working and we may try a small dose of medicine to bust the clot, but there is not much to do about it. That is because Mike has a heparin allergy and using blood thinners might (especially in his case) cause bleeding in the brain. The doctor and I briefly talked about if the pain becomes settled, what is the long term plan. While I don't think 12 hours of pain management means we have things under control, I do understand what she is talking about. Honestly, I have explored a few options with no clear vision. I am just going to keep praying.
I had another wonderful man stop by today. Actually three, one brought lunch, one brought tea, and one brought prayer. Not bad huh? Craig Nedrow stopped by. He is founder of "Stand Up 4 Jesus" (su4j.net) and said Mike is going on a huge prayer list that goes around the world. Everyone knows I am such a visual person, but this picture came to mind when he said that. Mike is hanging over the edge of a cliff and he is holding on to a rope. On top of that cliff, is the other end of that rope. Elizabeth and I are holding on. Then my family. Then friends. Then strangers and everyone is screaming in unison, " Pull! Pull!" But really the pulling is praying. And more and more people and joining and we are doing everything we can to defeat this battle, knowing that God is in control. Maybe a better picture would be like Mike is a balloon floating up towards God. Because he is definitely not headed for an endless abyss! But thank you for holding on with us. For praying. For loving us.
Tonight, I am leaving the hospital while Wendy is going to stay her. Elizabeth has her last basketball game tonight at 8 pm. Finally, I want to leave everyone with this:
I can count a million times people asking me how I can praise You with all that I've gone through. The question just amazes me. Can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You? Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days it's never really ever crossed my mind to turn my back on you, oh Lord. My only shelter from the storm. But instead I draw closer through these times. So I pray bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain.
I am Yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above. Because You are much greater than my pain. You who made a way for me by suffering Your destiny. So tell me what's a little rain. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.
Prayer needs:
Mike's healing - arm, cancer, breathing, organs, talking, walking
Medical wisdom from God
Direction on a plan for Mike and his care
Sleep... Sleep... Sleep
Praise:
Mercy Me and the song "Bring Me Rain"
Kathy and Evelyn for everything they did
Minnie for flying in to help
Wendy for moving in
Text messaging... love it...
One more day
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A precious moment
Over the past 36 hours, I have experienced every kind of emotion from absolutely livid to joy beyond what words can describe. I will do my best to explain what has been going on, but have to leave out things so I don't get myself in trouble.
Things kind of came to a head yesterday. Mike's pain was out of control. His bed had been broken for 24 hours and then the doctor came by when I stepped out and left with no concern about Mike being in pain. I hadn't slept in 24 hours and I had had it. I called in the troops and we went about trying to find another hospital to transfer Mike too. Mike didn't deserve this. So my troops rallied and what has been going on has been made known. Unfortunately all hospitals are full and there are no beds. We ended up having one of those meetings and everything is out in the open. We have a new doctor who hopefully understands managing pain and not just shooting in the dark. Things have been better today and so far, Mike's pain has been somewhat under control. Better, but not perfect yet.
So while this is all going on, Mike starts talking. His tongue is still swollen but you can just make out what he is saying. At the first of the day it was "hurts". Then "Mama help me". Then it progressed to "Deanna hold my hand" "Move my left knee it hurts" "Rub my arm hurts". That is just hard to bear and also what led to the very shortened story above. But then, as I was crying and telling him if the pain is too much that Elizabeth and I would be ok, he told me "Oh mama, it will be fine". Then he started saying our code word. Then, at one incredibly glorious moment, I told him that this was the best valentines present ever (meaning him communicating after so long). Our heads were very close and he said "Ahh..." reached up and rubbed my head and pucker his lips. I bent down and kissed him.
That was a life moment. Priceless. Worth everything. I am amazed at Mike's will to fight and will to live. The cancer is raging, but go God. The charge nurse who was on the night Mike came out of the ICU and back to the floor to pass away was here last night. She said hello to Mike and Mike turned to her and said hello. She said, "Mr. Phillips, you amaze me!" We talked about that night and how death hung near then. Yet here we still are and I will continue to fight for Mike as long as he fights. All the while, I have taken my direction from God and from Mike. The cool thing was that Mike confirmed yesterday things I have been telling people/doctors all along. You get asked that question a lot when people think you are acting out of the "distraught wife" mode. What would Mike want? or What would Mike say? He would say exactly what he has said, " The battle belongs to the Lord" and " don't worry Mama, God will take care of it. It will be fine".
So here we are still in a ferocious battle. The cancer is spreading everywhere, and yet Mike is still living. His vitals are good, his blood work is good, no signs of anything shutting down. The pneumonia is better and lungs sound clear. I know what the battle is. I know what cancer does. But I refuse to take Jesus out of the equation. I refuse to loose all HOPE. Because the Lord I serve has all authority and all power. I see the writing on the wall, but I hear the Voice of Truth in my heart and head.
Prayer:
Mike and pain relief
God to continue to show his hand and His might for His Glory here
Sleep.... Sleep... sleep
Elizabeth appears to be working on a cold... Healing for her and protection for all of us
Praise:
One more day
precious moments
Things kind of came to a head yesterday. Mike's pain was out of control. His bed had been broken for 24 hours and then the doctor came by when I stepped out and left with no concern about Mike being in pain. I hadn't slept in 24 hours and I had had it. I called in the troops and we went about trying to find another hospital to transfer Mike too. Mike didn't deserve this. So my troops rallied and what has been going on has been made known. Unfortunately all hospitals are full and there are no beds. We ended up having one of those meetings and everything is out in the open. We have a new doctor who hopefully understands managing pain and not just shooting in the dark. Things have been better today and so far, Mike's pain has been somewhat under control. Better, but not perfect yet.
So while this is all going on, Mike starts talking. His tongue is still swollen but you can just make out what he is saying. At the first of the day it was "hurts". Then "Mama help me". Then it progressed to "Deanna hold my hand" "Move my left knee it hurts" "Rub my arm hurts". That is just hard to bear and also what led to the very shortened story above. But then, as I was crying and telling him if the pain is too much that Elizabeth and I would be ok, he told me "Oh mama, it will be fine". Then he started saying our code word. Then, at one incredibly glorious moment, I told him that this was the best valentines present ever (meaning him communicating after so long). Our heads were very close and he said "Ahh..." reached up and rubbed my head and pucker his lips. I bent down and kissed him.
That was a life moment. Priceless. Worth everything. I am amazed at Mike's will to fight and will to live. The cancer is raging, but go God. The charge nurse who was on the night Mike came out of the ICU and back to the floor to pass away was here last night. She said hello to Mike and Mike turned to her and said hello. She said, "Mr. Phillips, you amaze me!" We talked about that night and how death hung near then. Yet here we still are and I will continue to fight for Mike as long as he fights. All the while, I have taken my direction from God and from Mike. The cool thing was that Mike confirmed yesterday things I have been telling people/doctors all along. You get asked that question a lot when people think you are acting out of the "distraught wife" mode. What would Mike want? or What would Mike say? He would say exactly what he has said, " The battle belongs to the Lord" and " don't worry Mama, God will take care of it. It will be fine".
So here we are still in a ferocious battle. The cancer is spreading everywhere, and yet Mike is still living. His vitals are good, his blood work is good, no signs of anything shutting down. The pneumonia is better and lungs sound clear. I know what the battle is. I know what cancer does. But I refuse to take Jesus out of the equation. I refuse to loose all HOPE. Because the Lord I serve has all authority and all power. I see the writing on the wall, but I hear the Voice of Truth in my heart and head.
Prayer:
Mike and pain relief
God to continue to show his hand and His might for His Glory here
Sleep.... Sleep... sleep
Elizabeth appears to be working on a cold... Healing for her and protection for all of us
Praise:
One more day
precious moments
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Cancer spreading - now in Mike's Brain
Some interesting things have happened over the last 24 hours. Mike has been have combative phases and yesterday I noticed that he was no longer moving his left arm. He is now only moving his right arm. I decided to risk the pain and go ahead and do a CT Scan. I wanted a whole body scan to assess the situation, but didn't get that. I did get the head CT and Mike's has two lesions that they can see. They are fairly confident that there are more that would show up if we did a study with contrast. We did it early this morning and waited all day for the doctor to tell us. In my gut I knew. I googled things last night and realized over the last few weeks, Mike has had every symptom. But hearing it spoken out loud is still hard to swallow.
I had a lot of questions for the doctor, which were all vague answers. It is so frustrating when all you want is the facts and they give you "I don't knows" or "well we know he has cancer". YES... I know.. But they don't understand the fight we have walked. The thing is his lab work is great. His heart is strong. His organs are functioning. Yet, we have cancer just on a all out assalt in Mike's body. Decisions are hard. Mike has brief moments of Mike like touches and recognition to voices. So tomorrow, with help for some people, I am looking in to other options, with possible transfer to another place. But that will take some time, some paperwork, and some research AND insurance approval on both sides!
I did tell Elizabeth tonight that they found cancer in Daddy's brain. I told her it explains why Daddy doesn't' talk and his behaviors. I can handle this. Mike can handle this. Elizabeth is so fragile. The roller coaster is almost more than she can bear. I pray for her so much.
I am just tired. Last night was not a restful night for Mike and therefore not for me. I tried to sleep in the morning and then they came for the CT Scan. I had to help the guy push Mike's extremely heavy sand bed with IV pole down to do the scan. The funny thing is the guy who did the scan left Mike out in the hall to wait on the tech to push him back upstairs. He looked at me and said he should be just a few minutes and then he turned to leave. I looked at him and said, "This bed is extremely heavy and we had a hard time pushing it down." He thought the tech could handle it. I said, "I am sure people would not be happy if they knew I was pushing this heavy bed with my husband in it back to the room." He then happily? helped the tech push the bed back upstairs. When I say this bed is heavy, it is heavy!! It is a special sand air mattress that they brought in to help Mike with the bed sores. The bottom half of the bed is fine sand and air pumps through to prevent pressure points.
I am sad to post this news. But God is not done. I will not take HOPE out of this, even to the last breath and beyond. I have really learned over this journey that God ordains every breath. Christ has conquered the grave leaving nothing to fear. We serve a God that is greater than cancer. He is here and we are holding on tightly, no matter what.
Prayer:
Mike complete earthly healing
Pain to ease along with combativness
Medical decisions
Medical direction with complete insurance support if we move Mike
Sleep for me..
Elizabeth
Praise:
So many people that are helping is big and small ways.
The layers of help that help me spend so much time by Mike's side. So many people are helping by helping those that help me. People are throwing out schedules and reworking. Husbands and kids are missing a parent, because they are with me at hospital. I am so grateful. So blessed. So loved.
I had a lot of questions for the doctor, which were all vague answers. It is so frustrating when all you want is the facts and they give you "I don't knows" or "well we know he has cancer". YES... I know.. But they don't understand the fight we have walked. The thing is his lab work is great. His heart is strong. His organs are functioning. Yet, we have cancer just on a all out assalt in Mike's body. Decisions are hard. Mike has brief moments of Mike like touches and recognition to voices. So tomorrow, with help for some people, I am looking in to other options, with possible transfer to another place. But that will take some time, some paperwork, and some research AND insurance approval on both sides!
I did tell Elizabeth tonight that they found cancer in Daddy's brain. I told her it explains why Daddy doesn't' talk and his behaviors. I can handle this. Mike can handle this. Elizabeth is so fragile. The roller coaster is almost more than she can bear. I pray for her so much.
I am just tired. Last night was not a restful night for Mike and therefore not for me. I tried to sleep in the morning and then they came for the CT Scan. I had to help the guy push Mike's extremely heavy sand bed with IV pole down to do the scan. The funny thing is the guy who did the scan left Mike out in the hall to wait on the tech to push him back upstairs. He looked at me and said he should be just a few minutes and then he turned to leave. I looked at him and said, "This bed is extremely heavy and we had a hard time pushing it down." He thought the tech could handle it. I said, "I am sure people would not be happy if they knew I was pushing this heavy bed with my husband in it back to the room." He then happily? helped the tech push the bed back upstairs. When I say this bed is heavy, it is heavy!! It is a special sand air mattress that they brought in to help Mike with the bed sores. The bottom half of the bed is fine sand and air pumps through to prevent pressure points.
I am sad to post this news. But God is not done. I will not take HOPE out of this, even to the last breath and beyond. I have really learned over this journey that God ordains every breath. Christ has conquered the grave leaving nothing to fear. We serve a God that is greater than cancer. He is here and we are holding on tightly, no matter what.
Prayer:
Mike complete earthly healing
Pain to ease along with combativness
Medical decisions
Medical direction with complete insurance support if we move Mike
Sleep for me..
Elizabeth
Praise:
So many people that are helping is big and small ways.
The layers of help that help me spend so much time by Mike's side. So many people are helping by helping those that help me. People are throwing out schedules and reworking. Husbands and kids are missing a parent, because they are with me at hospital. I am so grateful. So blessed. So loved.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Proxy's
I was able to go home last night and watch Star Wars Clone Wars with Elizabeth and then go to sleep. I am still a little confused at how I fell asleep and slept until 8:30. Actually, just a tad guilty. But I KNOW that Mike would have wanted me to do that and I KNOW he was in very capable hands while I wasn't here. So thank you Jesus for watching over him and thank you Melissa for sleeping with Mike last night (sorry... just had to post it that way! LOL).
Well, Mike continues to amaze all. The nurses are just pulling for him and pulling for him. Every day we are hear, more and more people come out of the woodwork asking about him. Our nurse last night was so happy to see us. She said she wanted to call all week to check on him, but was afraid. She didn't want to get bad news. Linda came in today and says he looks better. He is strong and all lab work is good. His pneumonia is better. His EEG was really inconclusive because he was moving around, though the brain waves were slow. But that could be due to medication. Mike continues to be in pain. He has outbursts and it is so hard to watch and not be able to do anything. He is on EXTREME levels of pain medication and sedation medications. We have also added another "brain" medication to see if that helps. There are moments and actions that are completely Mike. Not a lot, but a few. He is blinking again as well. I pray and I pray. I feel like I am missing something, but I don't know what. I don't know how to break this cycle of more and more pain medicines. I pray and I pray and I pray.... and then I pray.
Doug and Dena left today to go back to Omaha and Jeff leaves tomorrow to fly back to Germany. I can't even explain how much they will be missed and how awesome it was to have them here. They took care of every honey do list I ever had and then some. They battled it out of the Wii Sports Resort front. They laughed, cried, hugged, supported, questioned doctors, held Mikes hand, took care of me, and went to the moon and back for Elizabeth. All joy. Dear friends. AND here is what I know.... they were proxy's for everyone and you would be proud.
I am going to ask for one specific prayer for Mike....pain relief.
Well, Mike continues to amaze all. The nurses are just pulling for him and pulling for him. Every day we are hear, more and more people come out of the woodwork asking about him. Our nurse last night was so happy to see us. She said she wanted to call all week to check on him, but was afraid. She didn't want to get bad news. Linda came in today and says he looks better. He is strong and all lab work is good. His pneumonia is better. His EEG was really inconclusive because he was moving around, though the brain waves were slow. But that could be due to medication. Mike continues to be in pain. He has outbursts and it is so hard to watch and not be able to do anything. He is on EXTREME levels of pain medication and sedation medications. We have also added another "brain" medication to see if that helps. There are moments and actions that are completely Mike. Not a lot, but a few. He is blinking again as well. I pray and I pray. I feel like I am missing something, but I don't know what. I don't know how to break this cycle of more and more pain medicines. I pray and I pray and I pray.... and then I pray.
Doug and Dena left today to go back to Omaha and Jeff leaves tomorrow to fly back to Germany. I can't even explain how much they will be missed and how awesome it was to have them here. They took care of every honey do list I ever had and then some. They battled it out of the Wii Sports Resort front. They laughed, cried, hugged, supported, questioned doctors, held Mikes hand, took care of me, and went to the moon and back for Elizabeth. All joy. Dear friends. AND here is what I know.... they were proxy's for everyone and you would be proud.
I am going to ask for one specific prayer for Mike....pain relief.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Frustrating day and then God sent us an angel named Amie
Mike is having more and more combative hours today. It is so frustrating in trying to get the doctors to understand that maybe we have missed something. It is incredibly difficult to watch and feel so helpless. Doctors think it is pain so they keep upping the pain medication. `I have been told there is a fine line between pain control and suppressing breathing. So I hesitate to push it too far. I don't understand how much further you can push it. I was able to talk to admitting doctor and then request neurological consult. Then I had to leave the hospital and go be mom.
Elizabeth had a reception tonight for a big project that she just completed for the gift and talented program here in McKinney. It is an autobiography. I am blown away. Her writing is so expressive and she can really tell a story. Doug and Dena agreed to stay up here while I left. So I went by KFC to bring our part of the potluck and then I went home to pick up Elizabeth. It felt so good to be home, even for a few minutes. Even the dog missed me! I had a short minute to go through cards and mail. Once again, I am blown away. Thank you Kelly and Jay and Angela. To Fish Bayou, I love you so much. I am coming to your church at some point. Your card really spoken so loudly and I could feel your emotional turmoil.
I took Elizabeth to her event and then we went to the hospital. God has answered my prayers. Our night nurse is Amie. She looked at the situation and said, I have worked over 15 years in a palliative care section of a hospital and I have a lot of experience in this area. Can we talk. For the first time in a week, someone heard me. Someone explained things to me. I expressed my concern about the over medication and she explained the following:
All of Mike's drugs come from the Opi family. Pain is like a bucket and when your body is healthy and you overfill that bucket, that is when you run the risk of respiration's stopping. But when your pain bucket is empty, you need to fill it up. And over time, your body become used to it and you need more and more to fill it up. This is a very simple explanation, but we have to do something. Mike is chewing his tongue in the pain episodes. So we significantly upped the drip and Amie is making sure that she is on top of the other drugs. I don't have to call. That helps because I fall asleep and Mike's moaning wakes me up. We want to get to the point where there is no moaning. To stay on top of the pain.
We also are going to do an EEG tomorrow to check brain activity to see what that will tell us. We will be getting a Chest Xray in the morning to check his lungs. The days are flying by and day and night blend into one right now. This blog may be all over the place because my mind is just wired with so many medical things, emotional thoughts, and life in general.
Melissa has given me a gift - she is going to stay the night here at the hospital and allow me to go home to sleep with Elizabeth. While Mike doesn't talk, I know that his first concern would be Elizabeth and if going home to let her sleep with me will strengthen her, then I am there.
I have to say, I have been meditating on Jesus's words in Gethsemane the night he prayed with the disciple....
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." and
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
While I can never truly comprehend what Jesus suffered for me on the cross, these prayers and pleas ring straight my heart right now. I don't want to be walking this right now. Mike doesn't want to be walking this right now. BUT more than all this heartache, suffering, and turmoil, YOUR WILL BE DONE. I am so comforted by knowing that God know the day and time that all of us will walk home to be with Him.
I have to tell you I want to share/blog about the different decisions that have been made and the whole hospice or not question. But in the end, the decisions Mike and I make may not be decisions others make. Each situation is different, but in the end no one, no medication, no action will shorten your preordained time here. Mike would be proud to have so many surround him, fight for him, and love on him. But in the end, it is Christ's love for Mike that enables us/me to keep walking.
All prayer requests are the same please add clear mind for me as I continue to make decisions.
Praising Jesus for one more day. Amie. Mommy and Elizabeth time. Dear friends and family.
Elizabeth had a reception tonight for a big project that she just completed for the gift and talented program here in McKinney. It is an autobiography. I am blown away. Her writing is so expressive and she can really tell a story. Doug and Dena agreed to stay up here while I left. So I went by KFC to bring our part of the potluck and then I went home to pick up Elizabeth. It felt so good to be home, even for a few minutes. Even the dog missed me! I had a short minute to go through cards and mail. Once again, I am blown away. Thank you Kelly and Jay and Angela. To Fish Bayou, I love you so much. I am coming to your church at some point. Your card really spoken so loudly and I could feel your emotional turmoil.
I took Elizabeth to her event and then we went to the hospital. God has answered my prayers. Our night nurse is Amie. She looked at the situation and said, I have worked over 15 years in a palliative care section of a hospital and I have a lot of experience in this area. Can we talk. For the first time in a week, someone heard me. Someone explained things to me. I expressed my concern about the over medication and she explained the following:
All of Mike's drugs come from the Opi family. Pain is like a bucket and when your body is healthy and you overfill that bucket, that is when you run the risk of respiration's stopping. But when your pain bucket is empty, you need to fill it up. And over time, your body become used to it and you need more and more to fill it up. This is a very simple explanation, but we have to do something. Mike is chewing his tongue in the pain episodes. So we significantly upped the drip and Amie is making sure that she is on top of the other drugs. I don't have to call. That helps because I fall asleep and Mike's moaning wakes me up. We want to get to the point where there is no moaning. To stay on top of the pain.
We also are going to do an EEG tomorrow to check brain activity to see what that will tell us. We will be getting a Chest Xray in the morning to check his lungs. The days are flying by and day and night blend into one right now. This blog may be all over the place because my mind is just wired with so many medical things, emotional thoughts, and life in general.
Melissa has given me a gift - she is going to stay the night here at the hospital and allow me to go home to sleep with Elizabeth. While Mike doesn't talk, I know that his first concern would be Elizabeth and if going home to let her sleep with me will strengthen her, then I am there.
I have to say, I have been meditating on Jesus's words in Gethsemane the night he prayed with the disciple....
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." and
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
While I can never truly comprehend what Jesus suffered for me on the cross, these prayers and pleas ring straight my heart right now. I don't want to be walking this right now. Mike doesn't want to be walking this right now. BUT more than all this heartache, suffering, and turmoil, YOUR WILL BE DONE. I am so comforted by knowing that God know the day and time that all of us will walk home to be with Him.
I have to tell you I want to share/blog about the different decisions that have been made and the whole hospice or not question. But in the end, the decisions Mike and I make may not be decisions others make. Each situation is different, but in the end no one, no medication, no action will shorten your preordained time here. Mike would be proud to have so many surround him, fight for him, and love on him. But in the end, it is Christ's love for Mike that enables us/me to keep walking.
All prayer requests are the same please add clear mind for me as I continue to make decisions.
Praising Jesus for one more day. Amie. Mommy and Elizabeth time. Dear friends and family.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tired... Short update
Sorry about skipping yesterday. I made the mistake of watching the Olympics instead of blogging and then Mike went into his combative mode until 4:30 am. So when he settled down, I passed out.
I constantly have David and Goliath in my mind right now. This situation is so big, so scary and it taunts me all the time. I know that we are in front of a huge giant right now with a sling and a stone. But, what the doctors don't understand is that God is standing over us. Mike is still here despite everything (or nothing if you want to look at it that way) that has been done. So I am walking in Faith here. Knowing that God holds every breath and every moment right now. I am not thinking too far in the future, because I don't know what the future holds.
Please continue to pray over Mike. Pray specifically for his mouth, his tongue, his brain, and his organs to function as God designed. Pray that the pneumonia will continue to heal. Pray for rest. Pray for Elizabeth. She wants Daddy to talk to her. Pray for me.
I am praising Jesus for the text ministry, for friends, for understanding, for support, and one more day. Thank you Jesus. This is the day you have made!
I constantly have David and Goliath in my mind right now. This situation is so big, so scary and it taunts me all the time. I know that we are in front of a huge giant right now with a sling and a stone. But, what the doctors don't understand is that God is standing over us. Mike is still here despite everything (or nothing if you want to look at it that way) that has been done. So I am walking in Faith here. Knowing that God holds every breath and every moment right now. I am not thinking too far in the future, because I don't know what the future holds.
Please continue to pray over Mike. Pray specifically for his mouth, his tongue, his brain, and his organs to function as God designed. Pray that the pneumonia will continue to heal. Pray for rest. Pray for Elizabeth. She wants Daddy to talk to her. Pray for me.
I am praising Jesus for the text ministry, for friends, for understanding, for support, and one more day. Thank you Jesus. This is the day you have made!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Praying for even more Miracles
Mike continues to defy and fight. The nurse pulled up his labs this morning and said really it is quite amazing how good everything looks. His kidneys are functioning, his liver numbers are down, everything looks good. His blood fell just below the threshold, so he is getting 2 pints of blood tonight.
Mike's mom was able to visit last night. It was hard for her, but good for Mike and everyone I believe.
There continues to be a flurry of activity at our house. I have yet to go home in a long time. But Doug, Dena, Jeff and Wendy have moved right on it. Doug and Jeff have tackled many projects on my "honey do" list and Wendy and Dena are keeping Elizabeth and the dog on track. Wendy talks about my kitchen cabinents and I wouldn't be surprised to see new tile or lights or something when I get home. I just makes me smile. Honestly, it sounds like so much fun and I only wish that Mike and I were there to be in the mix. But I am so blessed and so surrounded right now. I am still amazed and the calm and peace right now. I have always said that I have handed Mike over to Jesus, but this toughest test so far and that statement says a lot after everything we have been through. Mike continues to be combative. The neurologist came by and believes that Mike's lack of oxygen the other night as played a role and that his brain has suffered damage. But I believe something different and I really believe if that is the case, then God is going to do another miracle. PRAY OVER MIKES BRAIN FUNCTION.
Tonight, 18 years ago, Mike proposed to me here in McKinney on my parents couch. It has been on my mind all day. That simple "yes" and the incredible love and commitment that flowed from that decision. (which by the way is the same simple yes that we both said when Jesus called us to him and the same result..incredible love and commitment flowed). I love him so much and it hasn't changed. Mike is still my love after all this and always will be.
Doug and Dena stayed up here late tonight and helped calm Mike down and get him turned before they left. Doug asked if I needed anything before I left and I smiled. He said what? I said pray that you will shut this door and an incredible light will flow from this room and that when the nurses come in, Mike will be sitting up talking and completely healed for God's Glory. Can you imagine the impact that could have? It is such an overwhelming and incredible thought.
Again, I continue to read all comments to Mike because I believe he can hear everything. I haven't been able to get to email too often, but try. I haven't been able to retrieve all message on our home phone and I love getting the texts on my cell. Thank you. I am still in awe at the incredible calm within me right now despite everything. Thank you Jesus for the peace that passes all understanding.
Prayer needs:
Mike pray over his liver, his cancer, his pneumonia, his kidneys, his brain, his mouth and tongue, and his legs.
Sleep for everyone
Elizabeth
Family and dear friends
Praises:
Friends who are giving my family a break for a short time
Mike's mom coming here
Just the incredible nursing staff here.
Doug and Jeff - I stand amazed at their commitment to Mike. They are helping to turn him and comforting him, and telling stories...
The neurologist who was honest, but confirming that decisions I made are correct and left with "pray to God" - He has NO IDEA the amount of prayer that is going on. It makes me smile
Dr. Bo and his commitment to Mike.
Laughter - we have had great conversations in this room and there is laughter. Thank you Jesus.
Mike's mom was able to visit last night. It was hard for her, but good for Mike and everyone I believe.
There continues to be a flurry of activity at our house. I have yet to go home in a long time. But Doug, Dena, Jeff and Wendy have moved right on it. Doug and Jeff have tackled many projects on my "honey do" list and Wendy and Dena are keeping Elizabeth and the dog on track. Wendy talks about my kitchen cabinents and I wouldn't be surprised to see new tile or lights or something when I get home. I just makes me smile. Honestly, it sounds like so much fun and I only wish that Mike and I were there to be in the mix. But I am so blessed and so surrounded right now. I am still amazed and the calm and peace right now. I have always said that I have handed Mike over to Jesus, but this toughest test so far and that statement says a lot after everything we have been through. Mike continues to be combative. The neurologist came by and believes that Mike's lack of oxygen the other night as played a role and that his brain has suffered damage. But I believe something different and I really believe if that is the case, then God is going to do another miracle. PRAY OVER MIKES BRAIN FUNCTION.
Tonight, 18 years ago, Mike proposed to me here in McKinney on my parents couch. It has been on my mind all day. That simple "yes" and the incredible love and commitment that flowed from that decision. (which by the way is the same simple yes that we both said when Jesus called us to him and the same result..incredible love and commitment flowed). I love him so much and it hasn't changed. Mike is still my love after all this and always will be.
Doug and Dena stayed up here late tonight and helped calm Mike down and get him turned before they left. Doug asked if I needed anything before I left and I smiled. He said what? I said pray that you will shut this door and an incredible light will flow from this room and that when the nurses come in, Mike will be sitting up talking and completely healed for God's Glory. Can you imagine the impact that could have? It is such an overwhelming and incredible thought.
Again, I continue to read all comments to Mike because I believe he can hear everything. I haven't been able to get to email too often, but try. I haven't been able to retrieve all message on our home phone and I love getting the texts on my cell. Thank you. I am still in awe at the incredible calm within me right now despite everything. Thank you Jesus for the peace that passes all understanding.
Prayer needs:
Mike pray over his liver, his cancer, his pneumonia, his kidneys, his brain, his mouth and tongue, and his legs.
Sleep for everyone
Elizabeth
Family and dear friends
Praises:
Friends who are giving my family a break for a short time
Mike's mom coming here
Just the incredible nursing staff here.
Doug and Jeff - I stand amazed at their commitment to Mike. They are helping to turn him and comforting him, and telling stories...
The neurologist who was honest, but confirming that decisions I made are correct and left with "pray to God" - He has NO IDEA the amount of prayer that is going on. It makes me smile
Dr. Bo and his commitment to Mike.
Laughter - we have had great conversations in this room and there is laughter. Thank you Jesus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)