Home

We got home this afternoon. We originally coming home yesterday, but some weird stuff in Mike's stomach had to go to the lab to be evaluated for blood. Once they knew it wasn't blood, they released us to come home. It is different this time though. Yes, Mike is stronger, but he is in pain. His lower back hurts and they sent us home with a pill for pain and at this posting I am not sure if it is working. I finally pulled out the liquid morphine and gave him a dose. It took the edge off the pain. I am a little nervous about that and am having to start over learning a new process again. The kitchen table is full of new folders and instruction manuals. The new pump arrived, the new home health nurse came by, and I have 4 new medications to add to our daily routine. I am fine with all that. I will figure it out and it will become routine eventually. The pain is the unknown. For a minute there, I thought that I would have to load Mike in the car and take him right back to the hospital. But I think we are on top of it for now.

Elizabeth had her first ensemble competition (oboe) last night and they got a 1 plus rating and a medal. She is so excited and we are so proud of her.

Please continue to pray and ask everyone you know to pray. We still don't know our next move or where we should turn. I did call Cancer Treatment Centers of America today. They take Tricare STANDARD insurance (not Prime), but since it pays the same as Medicare (have you heard that before?) they only take a limited number of patients on Medicare/Tricare. The next new patient opening is in July.

Father God, we are seeking you and your direction....

I will post more tomorrow. But I do want to say two things. (1) Today is our 1 year retirement anniversary from the Air Force. (2) Our new home health nurse came over and we found out that there is another young military (Army or AF, can't remember) guy retired here in McKinney with young family that has Esophageal Cancer.... makes you think. I did ask the nurse to pass along our information. I would love to connect with them.

Prayer needs:
For Mike to not be in pain
For complete earthly healing for Mike
For medical direction
For rest
For God's will

Praise:
Mike is home
Elizabeth and the joy she brings us
Our AF family. We love you!

One week - still here, but better

Mike is still in the hospital but what a difference a week can make. He is sitting in a chair looking out the window as I typed this. One week ago, he couldn't sit up without breathing hard. He had absolutely no energy. I think I have some blame in this hospital stay this time. I knew that Mike wasn't getting enough nutrition after that last round of chemo, but things seemed to be manageable. Then all of a sudden things just picked up steam like a ball rolling down a hill. Mike was also a little stubborn in this situation, but I am so thankful that we got here.

Mike is up to 60 ml per hour on the food pump. They want him to be at 70, so we are almost there. It is just taking Mike's stomach awhile to get used to eating 24 hours a day. We are also having some issues with the digestive tract and some fluid retention. His blood work is also slowly creeping down. We need to keep an eye on that as well, but THIS day is a good day.

Elizabeth and I continue to bounce between hospital and school. It got hard this weekend when she needed to be at home working on a huge project that is due in two weeks and I wanted to be here. (She needed help learning how to scan and incorporate graphics into her project). But for the most part, I think we did ok. Dad helped by spending time up here with Mike. I hate leaving him alone because you never know when the doctors are going to pop by and come up with something. For instance, on Friday I was up at school when the doctor came by. They had concerns about Mike not tolerating the increase of food. So the GI doctor (remember the one that said Mike should be on hospice back in September), the admitting doctor, and then another doctor felt Mike should get a GJtube. Basically, it is extending the feeding tube that Mike has into his lower intestines. Mike told the doctor that he wants to give the pump feeding more time. Next thing we know, nurses are here ready to wheel Mike down for the procedure. We told them no after a discussion. I think everyone wanted to get something done before the weekend if truth be told. The best thing is that it looks like at this point that was the right decision. Mike has managed to increase from 35 ml per hour to 60 ml per hour.

It is funny how much we have learned on this journey. For us, we are learning how to pray, listen and wait. Sometimes people/doctors want us to make these snap decisions, but we have learned to say wait, no, or we are still trying to decide our options. We have learned that our medical information is OUR information. That means that I can say let me see that blood work. I want a copy of that report. What leads you to make that decision. I have read about this treatment, is this an option for us? Why? I have also learned that you gain tons of information from other resources like nurses, techs, patients. It is a good thing to engage people in elevators, waiting rooms, etc. You never know what you will learn that might be helpful.

I will post as soon as we know if we are going home today. I don't want to be sent home without addressing a few issues like the fluid retention. But we have everything ready to go as far as Home Health for the feeding pump. I am hopeful...

Prayer needs:

Mike to gain weight and strength

Mike's back pain

The fluid retention and the digestive tract issue

Time management - there is so much going on this week with Elizabeth and her activities

VA - of course, we get a letter that Mike needs to go to the VA in downtown Dallas for an appointment this week. I called to let them know he is in the hospital but they won't discuss with me because we don't have a release of authorization on file. How we missed them, I don't know. Everyone else has it for us. I faxed one over, so hopefully I can get this settled. Minor issue in the scheme of things though!

Sleep for everyone

Praise:

Dad for spending time with Mike in the hospital so I could at home

Mom for doing laundry for me

Meals this weekend and Baskin Robbins Ice cream cake in the hospital YUM! (even Mike ate some)

Lisa Tuttle is on the way to the hospital to visit with us from Florida!

Thank you to Millers, Grays, Irwins, and Webbers

THE Master Chef

We are still here but Mike is better. His energy level has increased significantly in my book. When we got here, he couldn't sit up for very long without breathing hard. I just watched him stand and make the nurse walk him step by step through the feeding machine. (Typical Mike) He also ate breakfast this morning - cream of wheat, grits, a few bites of egg, gravy, butter, jam, maple syrup. The machine stopped working so he took the opportunity to really eat.

This hospital stay has helped Mike. He has been able to get IV medicines for nausea, acid reflux and pain. Those were all the factors that were spinning out of control that led us here. The biggest obstacle to us leaving is that Mike's stomach/ GI tract is being sluggish and the pump is giving us issues. It may take time. Really we are just in a holding pattern, but Mike is doing better. AND according to the scale built into the bed he has put on some weight.

There are just praises all around and a sense of calm and peace flowing right now. Actually, I have felt an amazing peace since Wednesday afternoon. I still feel like we are in this calm right now watching God gather everything for his next masterpiece - somewhat like sitting in the kitchen watching as the cook is making a great dinner. You see the process of chopping, gathering, and cooking. You are smelly this great aroma. But not sure what the dinner actually is going to be. I feel that right now. But you know if God is the cook, you won't be disappointed!

Prayer:
Please continue to pray for us. That God will gives us direction. Where and what he needs us to do

Praise:
Thank you to our dear friends for the mail and gifts this week.
For everyone that is led to send, post, email scriptures. It is so confirming when you get same verses from people all over the world. I know that it is God.
For the hospital visits, banana bread, offers of help, soup, and a good book

He looks like Dad

Elizabeth and I left Mike about 30 minutes ago. He was tired and needed the lights out and some rest. Come to think of it, Elizabeth and I are tired and need some rest too. On the way home, I said to Elizabeth, " Dad looks better, don't you think?". Just as casually as possible, Elizabeth said, "He looks like Dad." It melted my heart on so many levels. She looks on him as her Dad, she doesn't see sick or well, fat or thin, cancer or no cancer, just Dad and all the love and bond that word has. It made me think about how Jesus looks as me, nay all of us. He sees Deanna and all the love and bond that word has. Cool thought huh?

I picked up the PET Scan this morning and I can't put it into words. Tears just flowed and flowed and flowed. We are still digesting everything and looking up words. The scan reads as the cancer is growing and spreading. But tonight, we are confused as the MRI of Mike's back and pelvis said that there is nothing out of the ordinary according to the doctor. We haven't seen the report, so don't know if he didn't want to say anything or if the MRI didn't pick anything up which would conflict the PET Scan. We need to do more digging and are on our knees praying for wisdom and understanding.

Mike started the Feeding tube pump this afternoon. This will pump a steady small amount of food into his stomach constantly. We are hoping to get to a point where we can only do it for 12-14 hours a day, but for now as we see what he can tolerate, it is 24 hours a day. We have to stop the weight loss.

Medically, there is so many decisions that we are in prayer about. But we feel like we need to be still and listen. We are praying and waiting and rejoicing in each moment right now. We both feel the tsunami of prayers building around the world. God is bigger and He wins. As the song said that I turned up in the car on the way home (don't know the name of the song, artist or if this is exactly right, but nothing better than praising the Lord in the dark in your car, right?):

And I know that God saved the day

and I know His word never fails

and I know that God made a way

It's gonna be all right.

Prayer:

Please continue to lift us before the Lord. Add us to every prayer list, prayer group, prayer team, etc around this world.

Praise:

see picture above

0430 CST Post

Dear Friends,

After last night's morphine for my back, yesterday I asked to switch to Dilotid (sp?)and the Doc graciously agreed. It's pretty quick to kill pain but is easier on your stomach and head.

As I got ready to go to bed the back pain flared up again It was time to change out the pain patches, so we did that and waited but it didn't seem to even dent the pain. So I went ahead and asked for the Dilotid, which worked like a champ.

So I just got about 3 hours of wonderful sleep before they had to wake me for a vitals check (all good). Best I've felt right now in some time.

So I thought I'd hop on the blog and catch up. Honestly, been so sick, I haven't looked at it myself in a long time. Deanna keeps me updated on your comments.

But your comments have been such a blessing and encouragement that I wanted to shout out a thank you and praise. I hope you all know how much I love you!

Please pray if you will for Deanna specifically. One of my docs stopped by unexpectedly today and told us the PET scan was quite bad. He neglected to bring me a copy, but Deanna will stop by the office and get us one tomorrow so that I can inspect it personally. He then went on his doom and gloom, no hope for you, get ready to die speech...but followed it up with how vital it is for us to start chemo again right away.

It rattled both of us. After he left we had a time of reading the healing scriptures and praying that got me re-centered fairly fast, but Deanna was still very upset.

Please pray for us to choose to listen to God's words and not this doc.

I think we have discussed before how problematic this PET scan can be. You really have to have a CAT scan to go with it before you can interpret the results, which we will not be able to get for a while. The PET is sort of like a smoke detector. If it goes off, your house might be on fire...but it could also just be someone burning toast. Won't know for a while.

Hopefully will begin slow rate stomach tube pump feeding with a new and hopefully much healthier liquid food sometime tomorrow.

Love you guys, blessings to all,
-Mike

Morning update

We got a room around 2:30 yesterday and got fluids started, blood work, and white booster shot. We were able to get a private room and I thank God for that. We saw the admitting doctor around 7:00pm last night. We are waiting on our nutrition consult to figure out next step. We may try a g-tube pump that delivers a small dose of food over a 12 - 14 hour period. We both know that TPN is still an option, but with Mike's staph infection history, we want to exhaust all options before we turn to that road again.

I will ask for specific prayer for Mike's lower back. It has been hurting for about a week now and is progressively getting worse. So much so that Mike took a morphine shot for the pain last night. It is contributing to the factors that brought us here. When you are in pain, you don't feel like eating. Then, Mike has to lay flat on his back. He can't eat in that position due to the acid reflux. Pray that God breaks this circle. Pray that Mike's back pain will be healed. Pray that we can gain weight and that we can go home. Our home is very empty without him. Pray that he will get rest here.

My praise today is one more day and everyone that is on their knees for us right now.

Waiting on a room

Mike is being admitted into the hospital today. We are at home waiting for a room to open up. His energy is zapped and his weight is down to 122. This is hard, but I am hopeful. They will give him fluids, anti-nausea medicines, and start TPN (IV food) to help build him back up and get over this hump.

I am requesting prayer for this stay.

• pray for Mike and that this is the boost we need to get back on track.
• pray for the PET Scan. Results are not back. Pray that it is miraculous news
• pray that we get a private room and staff that will meet our physical and spiritual needs
• pray that we honor God with our words and actions and that we show the love of Jesus during this trial.
• pray that Mike will eat by mouth on top of the TPN so that he will bounce back quicker and that he will keep his digestive track working.
• pray for Mike's emotional strength. This is hard on him.
• pray for Elizabeth and I as we balance hospital and life.

I am praising:

• That there are options for us to help Mike get back on track
• For the gifts in the mail. Thank you agape.