Mike is doing ok today. He is in some pain and took morphine last night and twice today. However, today he took 1/2 of the prescribe dose. That is encouraging and I believe that tomorrow will be even better.
I had the opportunity to be Mike's patient advocate with the doctor today and was able to get some answers both Mike and I liked about the feeding tube vs TPN. There was a lot of confusion, but in the end, Mike will be taking 2 cans of liquid food 4 times a day. We finally tried out the tube tonight and we were able to get one can in with no effects (so far!). That is an absolute praise. He will do another one at 9:00 tonight. It was a little odd to watch and I won't go into details but modern medicine is amazing sometimes. I am praying this tube will be the start of better things to come. Once the site has healed over, Mike will be able to take showers again. He hasn't been in a shower since October. He has done baths and sponge baths, but sometimes there is nothing like standing in the shower having water pour down over you.
I am keeping this short because our dog woke me up in the middle of the night with the growling and all out barking attack at something in the backyard (probably a cat) and woke me up at of a deep sleep with a surge of adrenaline. It took me over 2 hours to fall back to sleep. I am done but I wanted to update everyone on Mike.
Finally, we got a great thing from Doug (and Dena) Howard via email tonight. Click on the link below, it is awesome.
http://www.livestrongaction.org/dedication/lt-col-mike-phillips
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Procedures done - God moving
I just praise Jesus for today for a few reasons. First and foremost, Mike came through everything just fine. He is in some pain and tired, but for the most part doing extremely well.
The Radiologist that installed the port and G Tube said something that I thank Jesus for again. I asked flat out if he saw any cancer. He explained that he just puts air into Mike's stomach and sees shadows, so he can not know for sure. However, Mike's stomach expanded as a normal stomach would and he saw nothing that would indicate it. Again, his job was not to look for cancer, but I will praise Jesus for that encouraging news.
I also was able to meet a young spouse today whose husband has melanoma that spread to his lungs. He is 36 and she is about the same age. We talked just briefly and I got her phone number. She asked about how old Mike was and she just looked so lost for lack of a better word. (I recognized that look immediately...actually I felt that look and my heart broke for her). Her husband was about to get a mediport to start the chemo and radiation. I really want to connect with her soon to help in some way. I had to leave her (alone) and go be with Mike, but I felt God spurring towards her and I am glad I listened.
Third, God is moving again. I feel another wave surging urging on a path. There is a lot of work to be done, and I will post more on that later.
We had a great nurse intern look after Mike in the room after he got out of surgery. He was itching and she washed of the antiseptic on his skin. Somehow we mentioned cancer and she asked what kind. Mike despite his lucid state pulled out his blue ribbon again and told her about God's miraculous work. She then prayed over us and great healing prayer. God is so good to send His angels to us.
I called Kay Creaseman for a few things that we needed (pathology slides) from Eglin. Kay was our active duty case manager. I haven't physically talked to her for a couple of months, but hearing her voice was so joyful and full of emotion. I felt so comforted just hearing her voice. Words can not express the gratitude of everything she did for us. Someday I will make a special trip just to hug her. I teared up a little bit when I hung up. Good tears..
Elizabeth made it to the beach with Papa and I hope is frolicking in the water as we speak. Better yet, maybe riding the Jet Ski in search of her dolphin pod. She deserves to just go and do what she loves there. She is really an amazing kid.
Mike is done with IV antibiotics and might go home tomorrow. I say might because there are some things we need to figure out with this feeding tube and TPN. The GI doctor hasn't been that forthcoming with some information and I spent time on the phone trying to figure things out. He wants Mike to go home on full blown TPN and using the feeding tube. I guess the feeding tube will take a little while to build up to the calories he will need. In the meantime, he will wean down on the TPN. However, Mike doesn't want to use his Mediport for TPN because he doesn't want to get another infection. We need the Doctor to make the rounds so we can see him in person. Please pray for wisdom and Godly intervention here.
Me?? Just tired, but am empowered by the Holy Spirit at the events that have taken place today. (and have developed a nice fever blister on my lip!! Stress maybe?? UGH!!)
Prayer needs:
Mike -pain
TPN/Feeding tube issues
Rest for both of us
Protection for Elizabeth while we are apart
My new friend - that God will give her strength for today and hope for tomorrow
God will orchestrate all the details of medical maneuvering to include the Referral for Tricare to go through without issues
See list above for the praises for today!
The Radiologist that installed the port and G Tube said something that I thank Jesus for again. I asked flat out if he saw any cancer. He explained that he just puts air into Mike's stomach and sees shadows, so he can not know for sure. However, Mike's stomach expanded as a normal stomach would and he saw nothing that would indicate it. Again, his job was not to look for cancer, but I will praise Jesus for that encouraging news.
I also was able to meet a young spouse today whose husband has melanoma that spread to his lungs. He is 36 and she is about the same age. We talked just briefly and I got her phone number. She asked about how old Mike was and she just looked so lost for lack of a better word. (I recognized that look immediately...actually I felt that look and my heart broke for her). Her husband was about to get a mediport to start the chemo and radiation. I really want to connect with her soon to help in some way. I had to leave her (alone) and go be with Mike, but I felt God spurring towards her and I am glad I listened.
Third, God is moving again. I feel another wave surging urging on a path. There is a lot of work to be done, and I will post more on that later.
We had a great nurse intern look after Mike in the room after he got out of surgery. He was itching and she washed of the antiseptic on his skin. Somehow we mentioned cancer and she asked what kind. Mike despite his lucid state pulled out his blue ribbon again and told her about God's miraculous work. She then prayed over us and great healing prayer. God is so good to send His angels to us.
I called Kay Creaseman for a few things that we needed (pathology slides) from Eglin. Kay was our active duty case manager. I haven't physically talked to her for a couple of months, but hearing her voice was so joyful and full of emotion. I felt so comforted just hearing her voice. Words can not express the gratitude of everything she did for us. Someday I will make a special trip just to hug her. I teared up a little bit when I hung up. Good tears..
Elizabeth made it to the beach with Papa and I hope is frolicking in the water as we speak. Better yet, maybe riding the Jet Ski in search of her dolphin pod. She deserves to just go and do what she loves there. She is really an amazing kid.
Mike is done with IV antibiotics and might go home tomorrow. I say might because there are some things we need to figure out with this feeding tube and TPN. The GI doctor hasn't been that forthcoming with some information and I spent time on the phone trying to figure things out. He wants Mike to go home on full blown TPN and using the feeding tube. I guess the feeding tube will take a little while to build up to the calories he will need. In the meantime, he will wean down on the TPN. However, Mike doesn't want to use his Mediport for TPN because he doesn't want to get another infection. We need the Doctor to make the rounds so we can see him in person. Please pray for wisdom and Godly intervention here.
Me?? Just tired, but am empowered by the Holy Spirit at the events that have taken place today. (and have developed a nice fever blister on my lip!! Stress maybe?? UGH!!)
Prayer needs:
Mike -pain
TPN/Feeding tube issues
Rest for both of us
Protection for Elizabeth while we are apart
My new friend - that God will give her strength for today and hope for tomorrow
God will orchestrate all the details of medical maneuvering to include the Referral for Tricare to go through without issues
See list above for the praises for today!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Day over - 1/2 procedures done
I called this picture - Recovery Snuggle. After Mike woke up, we waited awhile to move back upstairs. Elizabeth crawled into bed with him and feel asleep. Of course, then Daddy fell right asleep as well. Precious Gift for sure!
The best laid plans right?? Didn't work today. Mike was able to get the scope done on his esophagus around lunch time. Our regular GI doctor couldn't do it so we used his partner. They were able to stretch Mike slightly, but were unable to push the camera/scope through into his stomach. This doctor is very conservative and Mike was adamant about not pushing things due to the findings the last time. We were not able to get a biopsy either. All the GI doctor saw was scar tissue, not cancer tissue (praise!). We were able to catch up with our friends in the Day Surgery
I have to list the "God's Blessings" from today
1. Mike did not wake up in pain from the procedure. First time ever.
2. Elizabeth was with us the whole time. Things happened quickly and she walked with us down there and stayed with me in day surgery while we waited. She was such a blessing. We had Laughter, snuggles, and walking as a Christian lessons. Mike woke up and she was playing the submarine game on the Netbook. Mike started speaking to her in German asking her how many Uboats she sunk. It was funny to see the look on the nurse. She also engaged Mike right away talking about the game and he woke up quicker than ever before. My precious Lord gave us a precious gift over 11 years ago.
3. The scar tissue... I had a dream/vision a few nights ago that the blood of Christ was dripping off of Him on the cross and into the back of Mike's throat. I know it is gross, but I can still see it very vividly as I am typing this. I know Christ's Blood trumps cancer every time :)
4. Elizabeth has been struggling with the question "How do you know if you are really saved?" and we were able to engage that question in Day SUrgery with her. Mike told her it is by the fruits of the spirit Galations 5:22-23 and by your love of fellow believers (By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another John 13:35). Mike told her that other people have told us of her kindness and other fruits and we know she has love for others. It was great to see the light and the flood of understanding show all over her face.
So tonight we are resting and praise God for His care and His blessings ..
Prayer needs:
Restful night for everyone
The procedures tomorrow
Elizabeth - she is leaving on a plane with Papa tomorrow to go to the beach for a few days. Pray for protection, fun and no homesickness
Me - Elizabeth is leaving a a plane with Papa. I have never had her that far away and I pull more strength from her smiling face than I care to admit.
God to continue to hold back the cancer
Cruse Family as they say goodbye to Connor's earthly body and as they rejoice and celebrate his place in Heaven
I have to list the "God's Blessings" from today
1. Mike did not wake up in pain from the procedure. First time ever.
2. Elizabeth was with us the whole time. Things happened quickly and she walked with us down there and stayed with me in day surgery while we waited. She was such a blessing. We had Laughter, snuggles, and walking as a Christian lessons. Mike woke up and she was playing the submarine game on the Netbook. Mike started speaking to her in German asking her how many Uboats she sunk. It was funny to see the look on the nurse. She also engaged Mike right away talking about the game and he woke up quicker than ever before. My precious Lord gave us a precious gift over 11 years ago.
3. The scar tissue... I had a dream/vision a few nights ago that the blood of Christ was dripping off of Him on the cross and into the back of Mike's throat. I know it is gross, but I can still see it very vividly as I am typing this. I know Christ's Blood trumps cancer every time :)
4. Elizabeth has been struggling with the question "How do you know if you are really saved?" and we were able to engage that question in Day SUrgery with her. Mike told her it is by the fruits of the spirit Galations 5:22-23 and by your love of fellow believers (By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another John 13:35). Mike told her that other people have told us of her kindness and other fruits and we know she has love for others. It was great to see the light and the flood of understanding show all over her face.
So tonight we are resting and praise God for His care and His blessings ..
Prayer needs:
Restful night for everyone
The procedures tomorrow
Elizabeth - she is leaving on a plane with Papa tomorrow to go to the beach for a few days. Pray for protection, fun and no homesickness
Me - Elizabeth is leaving a a plane with Papa. I have never had her that far away and I pull more strength from her smiling face than I care to admit.
God to continue to hold back the cancer
Cruse Family as they say goodbye to Connor's earthly body and as they rejoice and celebrate his place in Heaven
Praise:
All of the above and Tony is home after 14 months is the Sandbox. Praise God for his protection!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tomorrow - Procedures and Prayers
I has been a great weekend even though Mike is still in the hospital. The Webbers were here and took control of Elizabeth and allowed me to be with Mike at the hospital. He is doing well but is a walking pin cushion. He is down to the last vein in his arm. He got stuck 8 times today to get that vein. His arms look awful. They are bruised in every spot imaginable. But Mike's spirits are still good. He refuses to be in the hospital bed, so Elizabeth and I take that over when we go. He sits by the window, plays on the computer, and today is reading the paper.
As of tonight, Mike is not on the schedule tomorrow for surgery. However, they expect him to be on the revised scheduled at 6:00 am. So I don't know what time all the things are happening, just that they are supposed too. So my plan is to be at the hospital by 9:00 am to wait. Earlier, if Mike calls. I don't know what to say, but there is a little fear of the unknown and what they might find. I read this devotional yesterday and again today:
Ephesians 6:17 - And take the helmet of salvation; and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.
So take upon you the full armor of God; the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the loins girded with truth, feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace having the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit.
Yes, My people, this is a hand-to-hand combat. You shall stand against the foe face-to-face. You will not turn in retreat least you be slain; for their is no armor to protect the back. The coward will perish.
This may sound kind of harsh, but it really stopped me and had me dwelling on some thoughts. You don't know how bad I want to go back to the way things were. To retreat, especially when days like tomorrow are ahead. When I don't know what to expect or when I know Mike will be in pain and there is nothing I can do but rub his head or hold his had. But, the reality is we are in combat and there is no retreat. Well, there is retreat, but without fighting Mike will perish. So it is kind of black and white. Take up the FULL armor of God and march forward and watch what God will do.
Prayer needs:
Sleep tonight
Satan to be bound
The doctors, nurses, procedures
Mike will clot - his platelets were up to 81 today. 75 is the minimum they could be for the procedures
God to protect his esophagus and keep it from perforating
There will be miraculous discoveries
The cancer will continue to shrink under the power of God!
Praise:
Friends
Laughter
Family
Looking for houses
As of tonight, Mike is not on the schedule tomorrow for surgery. However, they expect him to be on the revised scheduled at 6:00 am. So I don't know what time all the things are happening, just that they are supposed too. So my plan is to be at the hospital by 9:00 am to wait. Earlier, if Mike calls. I don't know what to say, but there is a little fear of the unknown and what they might find. I read this devotional yesterday and again today:
Ephesians 6:17 - And take the helmet of salvation; and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.
So take upon you the full armor of God; the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the loins girded with truth, feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace having the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit.
Yes, My people, this is a hand-to-hand combat. You shall stand against the foe face-to-face. You will not turn in retreat least you be slain; for their is no armor to protect the back. The coward will perish.
This may sound kind of harsh, but it really stopped me and had me dwelling on some thoughts. You don't know how bad I want to go back to the way things were. To retreat, especially when days like tomorrow are ahead. When I don't know what to expect or when I know Mike will be in pain and there is nothing I can do but rub his head or hold his had. But, the reality is we are in combat and there is no retreat. Well, there is retreat, but without fighting Mike will perish. So it is kind of black and white. Take up the FULL armor of God and march forward and watch what God will do.
Prayer needs:
Sleep tonight
Satan to be bound
The doctors, nurses, procedures
Mike will clot - his platelets were up to 81 today. 75 is the minimum they could be for the procedures
God to protect his esophagus and keep it from perforating
There will be miraculous discoveries
The cancer will continue to shrink under the power of God!
Praise:
Friends
Laughter
Family
Looking for houses
Friday, July 10, 2009
Still counting on God
Mike is still doing well in the hospital. He is actually bored and lonely. He is playing with computer gadgets and such, but needs to be home. I can see it in his body language. Unfortunately we will be in the hospital until Tuesday at the earliest. Right now, Mike is scheduled to get his feeding tube and port on Monday. However, the doctor is out of town, so it may change to Tuesday. He will have to be in the hospital for 24 hours after that procedure.
Mike got a visit today from Craig Church, a minister from North Carolina. I met him in the entry of the hospital as they were leaving. It was a brief encounter, but I felt a presence with him. One that makes you want to just be hugged and that you know everything would be ok. I can only take that as the Holy Spirit.
Today is a day that I am lost in thought. Connor Cruse is sitting in Jesus's lap as I type. This incredible, courageous 8 year old fought cancer with everything he had. I was driving home from the hospital tonight knowing that Joy and Tait were doing the same thing. It hurts. Elizabeth and I talked about Connor and heaven. Cancer is a beast. Words can not express my thoughts right now. But here is what I know... I praise Jesus for Connor's life. I praise Jesus that He walked Connor home. I praise Jesus for Joy and her incredible strength that I have pulled from more than she will ever know. I praise Jesus for the awareness that Connor's battle has brought to childhood cancer and the funding that has been raised because of his struggles. Thank you Jesus for giving Connor to us for a short time.
Prayer needs:
Mike's platelets- why are they still low? This does worry me.
Mike's mental health being in the hospital for so long
Mike's esophagus - that it will open up by God's hand
Rest for me..
Elizabeth and I to stay healthy with the funky hours we have been keeping
Praise:
Hospital visits
Neighbors
Connor
Connor's website - http://www.connorcruse.com/
Mike got a visit today from Craig Church, a minister from North Carolina. I met him in the entry of the hospital as they were leaving. It was a brief encounter, but I felt a presence with him. One that makes you want to just be hugged and that you know everything would be ok. I can only take that as the Holy Spirit.
Today is a day that I am lost in thought. Connor Cruse is sitting in Jesus's lap as I type. This incredible, courageous 8 year old fought cancer with everything he had. I was driving home from the hospital tonight knowing that Joy and Tait were doing the same thing. It hurts. Elizabeth and I talked about Connor and heaven. Cancer is a beast. Words can not express my thoughts right now. But here is what I know... I praise Jesus for Connor's life. I praise Jesus that He walked Connor home. I praise Jesus for Joy and her incredible strength that I have pulled from more than she will ever know. I praise Jesus for the awareness that Connor's battle has brought to childhood cancer and the funding that has been raised because of his struggles. Thank you Jesus for giving Connor to us for a short time.
Prayer needs:
Mike's platelets- why are they still low? This does worry me.
Mike's mental health being in the hospital for so long
Mike's esophagus - that it will open up by God's hand
Rest for me..
Elizabeth and I to stay healthy with the funky hours we have been keeping
Praise:
Hospital visits
Neighbors
Connor
Connor's website - http://www.connorcruse.com/
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Surrounded by saints
Dear Friends,
It's amazing how fast a microscopic enemy can completely take you down. It reminds me of some of my martial arts friends who, in a quick blur of motion, could put me on my back so fast that I couldn't even see how they did it.
The symptoms were identical in kind to previous staph infections, so I was fairly confident that it was staph even before the tests confirmed it. But the symptoms were worse by degree. Naked-and-wet-in-an-ice-storm cold one minute, trapped-in-a-sauna-stuck-in steam-heat-mode-hot the next.
Even 1000mg doses of Tylenol couldn't keep the fever much below 102. Thankfully though, within an hour after they removed the PICC line, all that ended. I am so much better. Perhaps Tom's theory about fevers fighting cancer is true. Maybe it was a gift from God, another schwacking for whatever cancer cells are left.
We're seeing so many of the old familiar faces again, but making some new friends too. I told one assistant my story while she was working on changing my bedding. She had a remarkable story to tell herself. She had knowingly married a man with terminal cancer. They had nearly 10 years together before he passed away. What great love she has in her heart! Caring for a spouse who gets cancer is one thing, but signing up for it from the start is something else. Here she was, a saint working on her nursing degree, changing my sheets.
Another assistant started helping tonight, with a wrapping around one wrist. I asked her how it happened, to make conversation. It turned out she was hurt trying to restrain a violent patient in the hospital. Another saint, hurt trying to help someone.
I'm working on my second and last unit of blood right now. Two more saints whose names I will never know.
These saints are all over this hospital!
We will likely have a little surgery Monday morning: install a mediport; install a g-tube; survey the esophagus and stomach; stretch the esophagus if it appears safe to do so; collect a biopsy specimen of anything that looks like live cancer cells (for HER-2 gene testing).
I've been leaning heavily on Jesus the last few days, and He has held me up! Thank You Yeshua.
Treading with saints,
-Mike
It's amazing how fast a microscopic enemy can completely take you down. It reminds me of some of my martial arts friends who, in a quick blur of motion, could put me on my back so fast that I couldn't even see how they did it.
The symptoms were identical in kind to previous staph infections, so I was fairly confident that it was staph even before the tests confirmed it. But the symptoms were worse by degree. Naked-and-wet-in-an-ice-storm cold one minute, trapped-in-a-sauna-stuck-in steam-heat-mode-hot the next.
Even 1000mg doses of Tylenol couldn't keep the fever much below 102. Thankfully though, within an hour after they removed the PICC line, all that ended. I am so much better. Perhaps Tom's theory about fevers fighting cancer is true. Maybe it was a gift from God, another schwacking for whatever cancer cells are left.
We're seeing so many of the old familiar faces again, but making some new friends too. I told one assistant my story while she was working on changing my bedding. She had a remarkable story to tell herself. She had knowingly married a man with terminal cancer. They had nearly 10 years together before he passed away. What great love she has in her heart! Caring for a spouse who gets cancer is one thing, but signing up for it from the start is something else. Here she was, a saint working on her nursing degree, changing my sheets.
Another assistant started helping tonight, with a wrapping around one wrist. I asked her how it happened, to make conversation. It turned out she was hurt trying to restrain a violent patient in the hospital. Another saint, hurt trying to help someone.
I'm working on my second and last unit of blood right now. Two more saints whose names I will never know.
These saints are all over this hospital!
We will likely have a little surgery Monday morning: install a mediport; install a g-tube; survey the esophagus and stomach; stretch the esophagus if it appears safe to do so; collect a biopsy specimen of anything that looks like live cancer cells (for HER-2 gene testing).
I've been leaning heavily on Jesus the last few days, and He has held me up! Thank You Yeshua.
Treading with saints,
-Mike
Darth DaDa
We took this picture tonight with Scott's cell phone. The lighting isn't that great, but this is a funny story.
My heart goes out to Mike. Without the PICC line, he is being stuck a million times a day. They needed a designated line for his PPN (peripheral nutrition) so they started another IV line in his other arm. It was also decided to go ahead and give him 2 more units of blood. So with the antibiotics, fluids, blood, and nutrition he is a mess of tubing on each side of the body.
We were talking with Scott tonight, and Mike said he feels like Anakin Skywalker when they were turning him into Darth Vader because he is hooked up on each side of his body. If you look at the picture, you can almost see it. Especially with the black t-shirt.
You know what else I see in this picture?? Another visual miracle. Notice Mike is laying flat on his back. He couldn't do that 6 months ago. He also pulls himself up to a sitting position like a normal person does.. using his abdominal muscles. He couldn't do that 6 months ago either.
Mike is doing well, but will be in the hospital until at least Monday when they can put the port and feeding tube in. It is just the nature of the beast with the peripheral IV and the nutrition and antibiotics. We are not going on vacation. But Elizabeth will fly with her Papa next week to stay at the beach for 3 days. But, in the end, God has been so good and Mike is still here. A vacation is a small and easy sacrifice to that.
Also, Mike downloaded Skype to his netbook and is able to do video calling now. We talked to Doug Howard yesterday. So if anyone out there wants to video call with Mike, just let us know and we will give you our username. You can download Skype for free.
I am off to bed...
Prayer needs:
Rest for Mike.. the alarms go off all the time with the 4 -5 different IV's he has going
God's continue healing of the cancer during this extended treatment break
Medical Wisdom
Financial Wisdom
Parental Wisdom!!
Praise:
Laughter
Family
Friends that pull out your trash cans for you
Nurses and vampires that are so caring!
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